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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23770) - you deserved it (2625)
On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17124) - you deserved it (1894)
On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)
Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4634) - you deserved it (26573)
On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)
Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15021) - you deserved it (1411)
On 04/30/2012 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I thought it would make a change to go out wearing a hat, something I never do. I got about 100 yards down the road when someone shouted out, "Hey, the 80s called, they want their hat back!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (13825) - you deserved it (3784)
On 04/20/2012 at 11:46am - misc - by BadHat (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28878) - you deserved it (1905)
On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)
Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20381) - you deserved it (3737)
On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)
Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11032) - you deserved it (17765)
On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24169) - you deserved it (2259)
On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)
Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40969) - you deserved it (5770)
On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17492) - you deserved it (1923)
On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom
Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28906) - you deserved it (7065)
On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States
Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38388) - you deserved it (8268)
On 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by robertsonjimmy - United States (Mississippi)
Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42865) - you deserved it (6041)
On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)
Monday 20 May 2013
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