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6969awesome

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6969awesome
  • Town/Country : Melbourne, Australia
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2555
  • Number of comments : 248
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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6969awesome's favorite FMLs

Today, I watched as my dad noticed a spider on the ceiling. Instead of getting a shoe, he pulled out a 9mm and shot it. I'm not sure if this is an epic win or a sign that my family is crazy. FML

#19903364
314 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28103) - you deserved it (3395)

On 07/07/2012 at 2:10am - misc - by kalikanna - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my son and I attended the funeral of a family friend. It went as well as any funeral could, up until the point that my apparently drunk son tried to grope the widow. I came an inch away from causing my son to need his own funeral. FML

#19834140
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17676) - you deserved it (1920)

On 06/23/2012 at 1:43pm - kids - by nosonofmine (man) - Iceland (Gullbringusysla)

Today, my face got intimate with several plywood boards, and I suffered lacerations and bruising. I told my friends I got the wounds from taking a few guys down in a bar fight. Now they're dragging me out into a rough part of town to give them "muscle" while they try to score some crack. FML

#19787973
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6089) - you deserved it (36935)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:59pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I had to take my 15-year-old daughter to remove the handcuffs her father had placed on her as a joke. He didn't know they were real. FML

#19551468
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15580) - you deserved it (1430)

On 04/30/2012 at 12:44am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom was put in jail for beating the shit out of my dad. FML

#19291584
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33570) - you deserved it (2536)

On 03/17/2012 at 12:53am - misc - by Taylor Easley - United States (California)

Today, I got scared by my own leg fat. FML

#19144549
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7742) - you deserved it (25049)

On 02/23/2012 at 6:29am - misc - by wobble... - Australia

Today, I received a single, hand-made Valentine's card from the weirdest kid in the school. It said, "If you ever get mauled by a bear, I hope he doesn't damage your face." FML

#18988741
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24598) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/04/2012 at 12:12am - love - by Jayde - United States (Texas)

Today, while my boyfriend and I were in the shower, we began to get a bit frisky. That was until I lifted my arms and he immediately made one of his "Chewbacca Calls." He was referring to my armpits that I had forgotten to shave. FML

#18867304
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13637) - you deserved it (24405)

On 01/21/2012 at 12:47am - love - by Reliena (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, a guy tried to seduce me by talking about incest. FML

#18586179
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24830) - you deserved it (2310)

On 12/23/2011 at 2:42am - intimacy - by balkangirl94 - United States (Florida)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46332) - you deserved it (7418)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was introducing my American cousin to the peaceful English village I live in. Just as I was reassuring her that the people were very friendly and welcoming, a car drove past and pelted us with eggs. FML

#17811386
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19480) - you deserved it (2419)

On 09/23/2011 at 4:31am - misc - by egghead - United Kingdom

Today, I got my first handjob. She ripped out a pube. It hurt so bad my eyes teared up. She asked what was wrong and not wanting to make her feel guilty I had to tell her it was "Just so good." FML

#17659578
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32723) - you deserved it (8859)

On 09/04/2011 at 5:36am - intimacy - by southernluxe - United States

Today, I let my new puppy outside for the first time. When I went to get him, I saw a man running off with him. FML

#16651474
242 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43598) - you deserved it (10956)

On 06/13/2011 at 9:46pm - misc - by robertsonjimmy - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I found out that as a supervisor, if you reprimand a female worker and end the conversation with "Now get back to making sandwiches." your boss will consider it sexism and suspend you. I work at Subway. FML

#16589228
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46326) - you deserved it (7240)

On 06/10/2011 at 1:01am - work - by MakeMeASandwich (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a long and heartfelt message. He responded with "tl; dr". FML

#16540181
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (5645)

On 06/07/2011 at 12:43am - love - by Maddie110110 (woman) - United States (Texas)



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