5up3rTAN

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5up3rTAN

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 October 1980 (35 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1886
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About 5up3rTAN : El Chupacabra

5up3rTAN's page activity

Visits<b>ptellini</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 2:12pm<b>NPN_Scorpio</b> - the 06/08/2011 at 5:57pm<b>gardenwhipped</b> - the 05/22/2011 at 8:53am<b>newzealand</b> - the 04/20/2011 at 7:10pm<b>shoieb9</b> - the 04/04/2011 at 1:34am<b>rizzle120</b> - the 04/01/2011 at 8:08pm<b>Friskyallngt</b> - the 03/27/2011 at 12:09am<b>sweet_candy_</b> - the 03/25/2011 at 2:19pm<b>shadow455</b> - the 03/24/2011 at 10:11am<b>betty66</b> - the 03/23/2011 at 6:14pm<b>rallets</b> - the 03/23/2011 at 11:52am<b>CloudEnvy</b> - the 03/23/2011 at 8:32am<b>phear46</b> - the 03/08/2011 at 11:58am<b>kofinater</b> - the 03/01/2011 at 1:02am<b>urdirtyolduncle</b> - the 02/25/2011 at 11:17pm<b>flupsht</b> - the 02/19/2011 at 4:10am<b>draycore1</b> - the 02/15/2011 at 3:34pm<b>strength413</b> - the 02/15/2011 at 1:12pm

5up3rTAN's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

5up3rTAN's favorite FMLs

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

by LoveDrug / 02/17/2010 at 5:49am / Ireland / Love

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

by Anonymous / 02/15/2010 at 8:28am / United Kingdom (London) / Intimacy

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

by anon / 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm / United Kingdom (York) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

by writer4life / 01/17/2010 at 12:30am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

by CD / 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

by fatguyinalittlecoat / 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML

by Anonymous / 11/26/2009 at 12:15am / Canada (British Columbia) / Transportation

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

by Michelle / 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States (Maine) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

by LondonKitsch / 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a cafe and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed my arm and said 'I think that man is masturbating' and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

by MBG / 06/05/2009 at 3:43am / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy

Today, I took a call. Wrong number. A few seconds later, they called back and I told her that she had the wrong number. She said she just hit redial and didn't understand how she got me again. I tried to explain how redial works. She called me a moron and hung up. Then my phone rang again. FML

by Anonymous / 05/12/2009 at 1:39pm / United States (Minnesota) / Work

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

by penisface69 / 05/05/2009 at 12:41am / United States (California) / Intimacy

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

by Melaknee / 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

by cumguzzler / 03/06/2009 at 11:14am / United States (South Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, my boss called me into his office to show me the web site of a potential business partner. When he began to type 'virginia' into google, it auto-completed his search with his recent search for 'virgin boy assholes'. I have to go on business trip with him tomorrow. I'm a young guy. FML

by The Sbeak / 02/13/2009 at 10:54am / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy