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5up3rTAN

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5up3rTAN
  • Town/Country : Chelmsford , England
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Wednesday 15 October 1980 (33 years)
  • Number of visits : 1615
  • Number of comments : 77
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About 5up3rTAN : El Chupacabra

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5up3rTAN's favorite FMLs

Today, the only guy showing slightly any interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick-up lines such as, "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23986) - you deserved it (2300)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, I decided to have sex with with my boyfriend. After we had finished I jokingly said, "who's going to sleep in the wet patch?". He got up and said "you're optimistic, I'm not staying. Oh, and I'm dumping you, that performance was disappointing". It was my first time. FML

#8292337
255 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27856) - you deserved it (3552)

On 02/15/2010 at 8:28am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I heard that there's a rumour going around that I was caught masturbating while crying at a party after the girl I liked got with someone else. FML

#7946481
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16835) - you deserved it (2140)

On 02/06/2010 at 7:28pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I went on a date with a guy I met on-line. While cuddling on the couch, he asked me for a blow job. I refused. He said, "But I thought big girls liked doing that." FML

#7390667
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16079) - you deserved it (4105)

On 01/17/2010 at 12:30am - intimacy - by writer4life (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mom explained the benefits of douching to me with my boyfriend right there. He began arguing with her about how the vagina is usually self-cleaning. FML

#7263265
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13872) - you deserved it (1747)

On 01/10/2010 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by CD (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was on a stationary bike at the gym. I got into a conversation with a very attractive female gym-friend. I felt something cool "down below". I looked down and saw one of my testicles had sneaked out of a hole in my shorts, I quickly looked up only to see her staring at the same thing. FML

#6665165
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14520) - you deserved it (3188)

On 12/08/2009 at 2:09pm - intimacy - by fatguyinalittlecoat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was riding on my usual bus, when I noticed a man staring at me. I was having a really bad day, and said "Can you please stop staring at me?" He then replied with "I'm just trying to look out the window, and your head is in the way. Don't flatter yourself." FML

#6456291
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7470) - you deserved it (38572)

On 11/26/2009 at 12:15am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was trying to have sex with my boyfriend, David. I moaned his name and he whispered, "I'm not David." Then, with an Italian accent, he said, "It's-a-me! Mario!" FML

#4882481
342 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60652) - you deserved it (15379)

On 08/28/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by Michelle (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I finally got into a yoga class with the instructor I've been crushing on for 2 years. As he walked closer to greet me, I lifted my leg over my head into a full split, and queefed obnoxiously loud. He responded with his gag reflex. FML

#3241027
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41984) - you deserved it (25191)

On 06/26/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by LondonKitsch (woman) - United States

Today, I had the closing shift at work in a cafe and there was a man and lady left. I made them coffee and started to close up. When the lady finished her coffee she grabbed my arm and said 'I think that man is masturbating' and leaves in a hurry. I had to wait for him to finish before closing. FML

#2624268
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52785) - you deserved it (2856)

On 06/05/2009 at 3:43am - intimacy - by MBG (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was talking with this cute guy. I mentioned the fact that I'm single. His response, "It'd be awkward, but we can still fuck." FML

Today, I saw an attractive man outside the club I was trying to get into to. We talked, and ended up having sex in my apartment. The next day when I was dropping him off, I discovered he was homeless and was outside the club begging for money. My house is suddenly out of bread and cheese. FML

#448904
216 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28058) - you deserved it (129982)

On 03/18/2009 at 8:10pm - intimacy - by Melaknee (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at this awesome party and I was dancing with this really attractive girl who started making out with me all of a sudden. Five minutes later, my friend told me that the girl had just given him a blowjob. FML

#225509
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57229) - you deserved it (9576)

On 03/06/2009 at 11:14am - intimacy - by cumguzzler - United States (South Carolina)



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