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4everFucked

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 581
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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4everFucked's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
305 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62396) - you deserved it (5030)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, I discovered that my wife actually encourages my three year-old son to sleep in our bed, as a buffer against any romantic advances. FML

#19887553
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32223) - you deserved it (3091)

On 07/03/2012 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was joking around with my eight-year-old son. I told him to pull my finger. I farted, then laughed. He decided to try it on his mother. When she pulled his finger, he crapped his pants. He told her I taught him how to do it. FML

#19791702
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12097) - you deserved it (25732)

On 06/15/2012 at 10:21am - kids - by habbsrule - Canada

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46126) - you deserved it (8848)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19160) - you deserved it (36698)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I realized how poor I am when I had to use sharpies to color in the worn spots on my dress shoes before leaving for work. FML

#19265043
204 comments

Today, I overheard my fourteen year old daughter talking on the phone. Apparently, as of last night, she and her best friend have their "official licenses in muff diving". FML

#19124149
381 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26236) - you deserved it (4057)

On 02/20/2012 at 4:19pm - intimacy - by Gavin - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)

Today, I'm so broke that when I got out of the shower, I had to slowly dry myself off with a ShamWow sample I received in the mail. FML

#18871908
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28043) - you deserved it (3993)

On 01/21/2012 at 3:38pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML

#18753577
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31034) - you deserved it (5841)

On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, just after waking up, I caught a glimpse of my girlfriend in the mirror. Not knowing I was awake, she sniffed at her armpits, started gagging, then quietly came back to bed. FML

#17644028
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28527) - you deserved it (3759)

On 09/02/2011 at 12:31pm - love - by Harry Dare - United Kingdom (Walsall)

Today, having turned 18, I was eager to show my mother some of the clothes I'd like to purchase with my birthday money. I flipped my laptop open only to realise I had left a "Big Latina Booty gets a fat one" window open. Her howling screams of pleasure echoed through my kitchen. FML

#16074880
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13010) - you deserved it (56203)

On 05/07/2011 at 2:08am - intimacy - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my 14 year old son got suspended and I had to pay for the damage after he sprayed "FUCK THE POLICE" on the back wall of his school. I'm a policeman. FML

#14741730
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36911) - you deserved it (8164)

On 01/28/2011 at 9:25am - kids - by duckthehack (man) - Poland (Wielkopolskie)

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

#11389778
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17936) - you deserved it (56710)

On 06/22/2010 at 9:41pm - health - by fartwoman - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in a lecture. I laughed at something amusing in Dreamworld, but the laugh came out as a prolonged creepy groan in Lectureworld. I woke up to see everyone within a 5 meter radius staring at me. FML

#6286266
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19203) - you deserved it (12078)

On 11/13/2009 at 10:53am - misc - by teepee - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my daughter turned one month old. I decided to give her a congratulatory kiss on the cheek. She decided to projectile vomit warm breastmilk into my partially open mouth. FML

#5141391
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (5030)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:22am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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