About 48Connor : I do this all on my iPod, so I really only get half the experience. All bored of typing. Bye :D
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Mobility
You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.
I moderated this!
In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
Today, I went through the drive through at Dunkin Donuts and asked for an iced coffee. After no response I start frantically screaming about bad service. After a while, the woman comes out to my car and says, "Please pull up to the speaker." I yelled at a garbage bin for 5 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9016) - you deserved it (85481)
On 06/19/2009 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was at my 3 year-old niece's birthday party. I was swinging on their swing set when she walked directly into my path. I tried to jump off the swing, but I could not stop myself in time. I ended up kicking her in the face and giving her a black eye. Happy birthday! FML
I agree, your life sucks (35488) - you deserved it (7941)
On 04/29/2009 at 8:14pm - misc - by BrandNewKadillak - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I was riding my bike and stopped at a street light. A little girl looked at me, then asked her mother, "Mommy, why does that girl have a ring through her nose?" Her mother then replied, "Because her parents don't love her." FML
I agree, your life sucks (56298) - you deserved it (13309)
On 04/05/2009 at 3:33pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my tampon string was hanging from my bathing suit. My boyfriend thought it was a thread hanging from my bikini bottom. He publicly pulled out my tampon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (326524) - you deserved it (45273)
On 04/03/2009 at 3:39pm - misc - by rebekah (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, one of my baseball teammates thought it would be funny to perform a "cup-check", by hitting our crotches with the end of a baseball bat. I was actually watching the game, so I didn't see him when he came up and hit me. I wasn't wearing a cup. My nuts have shrunk by half of regular size. FML
I agree, your life sucks (50309) - you deserved it (8268)
On 04/01/2009 at 8:34pm - misc - by Nutless (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I gave a campus tour to a group of high school seniors. As I was showing off the dorms, one student asks, "Are these beds sturdy enough for threesomes?" Before I could respond, another kid shouts, "How would he know, I bet the only action he gets in bed is from his left hand." She's correct. FML
I agree, your life sucks (84197) - you deserved it (7907)
On 03/23/2009 at 2:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my daughter asked me when was the first time I had sex. After I told her 22 she quickly shouted, "Beat ya!" She's thirteen. FML
I agree, your life sucks (353090) - you deserved it (66621)
On 03/06/2009 at 2:04pm - intimacy - by Noname (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my 5 year old nephew showed me green martians he'd made with his new Play Doh set. I smiled and said, "Wow! Now, how about some blue martians!" He looked at me and replied, "How about some blue shut the fuck up?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (177914) - you deserved it (61453)
On 02/16/2009 at 9:29pm - kids - by offbeans (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blow job, he was twitching and moving around and saying "oh yeah" then he said "take that bitch". I looked up to see he was only excited about how he is domination in Call of Duty 4. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36642) - you deserved it (8049)
On 02/15/2009 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Noname - United States (Missouri)
Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22736) - you deserved it (5588)
On 02/07/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by notpreggers (woman) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML
I agree, your life sucks (34625) - you deserved it (5473)
On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Monday 20 May 2013
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