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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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4690flowerz

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4690flowerz
  • Town/Country : United States of America
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 September 1994 (17 years)
  • Number of visits : 1439
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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4690flowerz's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a grasshopper in the urinal so I decided to pee on it. It jumped out, scared the hell out of me, and I peed all over myself. FML

#6302850 (126)

I agree, your life sucks (4490) - you deserved it (47672)

On 11/14/2009 at 4:37pm - animals - by TheMichaelNixon - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I discovered that the school I transferred from last year is closing. All the people that I so happily escaped from and left behind at that school will now be flocking to my new school senior year. Faaaantastic. FML

#5731008 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (27671) - you deserved it (2177)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:30pm - misc - by Augh. (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, on my break, I decided to be friendly and chat with a co-worker that everyone else always seems to avoid. He spent the next ten minutes telling me all about his abcessing sebaceous cysts. Apparently, "The scars look just like gunshot wounds." FML

#5707882 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (19788) - you deserved it (3800)

On 10/07/2009 at 6:36pm - work - by loverofstrife (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, during the opening night performance of our schools musical, while I wasn't on stage I decided to use the restroom. I came out to find two of my fellow actresses putting their hands over my mouth. Apparently, I had left my microphone on and everyone heard me using the restroom. FML

#5618985 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (24203) - you deserved it (7887)

On 10/03/2009 at 9:47am - misc - by Porcelain (woman) - United States (Kansas)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had to hand write a 10 page essay for one of my classes. When I turned it in I got an automatic zero. It was written in blue. Not black. FML

#5436194 (163)

I agree, your life sucks (33596) - you deserved it (7560)

On 09/23/2009 at 9:18pm - misc - by stupid (woman) - United States

Today, I was home alone, and decided to do some naked cleaning just because I could. After half an hour of liberating nakie-dusting, I turn around to see my boyfriend and his best friend gaping at me open mouthed. His older brother however gave a creepy smile and the thumbs up. FML

#5424081 (102)

I agree, your life sucks (10380) - you deserved it (28891)

On 09/23/2009 at 5:35am - misc - by DusterOverBits (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you deserved it (11008)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I was diagnosed with diabetes. I went to tell my grandpa, who immediately said, "I'm sorry, let's go get ice cream to cheer you up." FML

#5307828 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (32079) - you deserved it (2363)

On 09/17/2009 at 3:05am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was in the bathroom defecating when I felt something hanging there. I reached back with toilet paper and starting pulling it out inch by inch; 3 feet later I learned I had a tapeworm. Worst of all, no pharmacy has the med the doctor prescribed. I have to live with this thing until the med gets here. FML

#5276065 (388)

I agree, your life sucks (50333) - you deserved it (2349)

On 09/15/2009 at 5:14pm - intimacy - by benander (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I just came back from the vet. I spent a lot of money on a pet tortoise at the local pet store and it didn't come out of its shell when I bought it. The owner just said it sleeps in the day and it'll be shy for a week or so. Turns out it was dead. FML

#5247865 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (29578) - you deserved it (6608)

On 09/14/2009 at 6:05am - money - by JhKhS (man) - United Kingdom (Devon)

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

#5224172 (186)

I agree, your life sucks (50124) - you deserved it (2484)

On 09/13/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I tried to help a large, elderly nun who had slipped. She was stuck and wedged in on a concrete ramp. So I stood facing her, feet braced against hers, and pulled. Not only did I drop her, but I got a wicked view of her panties and crotch. I'm sure I'm going to hell. FML

#5191369 (78)

I agree, your life sucks (24947) - you deserved it (2730)

On 09/11/2009 at 6:16pm - misc - by KarmaGirl (woman) - United States (New York)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was having a really bad day and told my friend at lunch about how stressed I was and he gave me his brownie to cheer me up. After school, he texted me "Did the brownies kick in?" Yes, they did, right in the middle of my English presentation. They were "funny" brownies. FML

#5171509 (210)

I agree, your life sucks (35512) - you deserved it (5019)

On 09/10/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by englishclasshigh (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left on my honeymoon with my wife who is terrified of flying. The pilot announces incoming storms in the flight path, and the man next to me starts saying it's "probably fate" and "we all have to go sometime" and my wife goes into a full panic attack. We haven't even left the ground yet. FML

#5167326 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (29403) - you deserved it (1803)

On 09/10/2009 at 11:58am - misc - by siggit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, for the first time ever, while I was driving I ran over a squirrel. It was in front of three little girls at their lemonade stand. FML

#5141393 (103)

I agree, your life sucks (28558) - you deserved it (3871)

On 09/09/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)