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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I went shopping with my two sons and my wife. We got separated after a while, and I spotted my son in the video game section of the store. I snuck up behind him and playfully slapped him on the back of the head. The kid turned around and it wasn't my son. His mom was none to happy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9029) - you deserved it (32362)
On 07/02/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by Kronic (man) - United States (California)
Today, we spread my uncle's ashes at my grandparent's house. We were on a hill overlooking a sunset. It was a beautiful ceremony... until the winds changed direction. Our whole family wound up covered in my Uncle. He's still stuck in my hair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42381) - you deserved it (3082)
On 06/21/2009 at 12:23am - misc - by Lee (woman) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I thought I saw a woodchuck far out in my yard. I wanted to take a cool picture of it so I slowly crept closer and closer to it. I spent half an hour sneaking up on a log. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13346) - you deserved it (37166)
On 06/14/2009 at 11:37pm - misc - by thelarkscaw (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42375) - you deserved it (2502)
On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I had a horribly realistic dream where I was being robbed and had to swallow my wedding ring to save it. After waking up, I realized my wedding ring is in fact gone. The doctor assures me that I will have it back in a day or two. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42375) - you deserved it (2502)
On 06/14/2009 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, I woke up with a hangover after an intense night out. I decided to look at my camera to figure out what happened the night before. All my pictures were deleted except one video of me dancing to Lollipop by Lil Wayne, and giving a lapdance and head to my giant plush rat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7702) - you deserved it (39574)
On 05/31/2009 at 1:48am - misc - by crunkdrunk (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was straightening my hair when I heard this crunching, sizzling sound. Taking the flat iron away, I realized that I had just fused a spider to my hair with the heat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53383) - you deserved it (5368)
On 05/23/2009 at 10:03am - animals - by beatricesank (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I was lining a soccer field. I had the entire grid laid out, so I began to paint with a handheld cart. I finished the entire field without looking back once. I forgot to put paint in the cart. I walked around a field for an hour painting with air. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10604) - you deserved it (45251)
On 05/23/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by onlyme (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, while installing a deadbolt on my closet, I did it wrong. It closed but wouldn't lock so I had to re-install it. Sitting on the floor of my closet, I shut it to make sure it was installed correctly. I locked myself in for twenty minutes, home alone, before kicking the door down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9897) - you deserved it (34768)
On 05/22/2009 at 8:12pm - misc - by erin3809483 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to a chinese restaurant with my asian girlfriend. When she went into the bathroom I practiced saying "Can we have sex" in chinese which is where she is from. After saying it a few times out loud, a waiter walked by and stared at me. When he gave me the check he included his number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17485) - you deserved it (50182)
On 05/22/2009 at 7:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, I went to the casino. I used my last $5 on a slot machine. When the machine started lighting up, saying I had just won $20,000, I excitedly began jumping and screaming. As people crowded around me, the casino lady explained it was 20,000 credits, not dollars. I had only won $20. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32887) - you deserved it (12699)
On 05/22/2009 at 6:12pm - money - by uneek14 (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was walking around my house without a shirt on after my shower. I picked up my cat and walked around the corner... Just as my dad turned on the vacuum. Now I have 6 rather deep bloody holes in my shoulder and chest. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35660) - you deserved it (6907)
On 05/20/2009 at 3:12pm - animals - by vitalcheese (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML
I agree, your life sucks (38118) - you deserved it (11471)
On 05/20/2009 at 2:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, me and my co-workers were playing with the Helium tank we got today. We were all giggling like little girls for the better half of 15 minutes. I don't know what is more sad, that a bunch of guys were sucking helium instead of working, or that the youngest guy in the group is 43. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36396) - you deserved it (10075)
On 05/20/2009 at 11:42am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was hanging out with a few of my friends, including an old ex-girlfriend and her current boyfriend of 5 years. When my ex, whose virginity I had taken years earlier, mentioned, "I had the iPhone first," without thinking, I immediately responded, "Well, I had YOU first." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14752) - you deserved it (69535)
On 05/20/2009 at 1:10am - intimacy - by Takuma (man) - United States (Texas)
Friday 24 May 2013
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