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2DeeJay0

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2DeeJay0

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  • Number of visits : 451
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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2DeeJay0's page activity

Visits<b>CallMeMctwo</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:51pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 11:32pm<b>coffee2353</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 1:12pm<b>410andree</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 9:06am

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2DeeJay0's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my dad asking if I was a porno actress. I am. FML

#21510678
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25310) - you deserved it (22331)

On 01/02/2016 at 5:31pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my anxiety cockblocked me. I was in the middle of a wank, about to come, when I suddenly freaked out and had to stop and check to make sure I didn't have any homework due tomorrow. FML

#21496144
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22808) - you deserved it (4151)

On 11/24/2015 at 1:34am - intimacy - by helpme (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend of a week showed me her talent: shooting milk out of her vagina across the room. Goodbye dairy products. FML

#21413854
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (4052)

On 05/22/2015 at 2:55am - intimacy - by zzarzzur (man) - United States (California)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49704) - you deserved it (3733)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29617) - you deserved it (3089)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31294) - you deserved it (2721)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30312) - you deserved it (4274)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34416) - you deserved it (3611)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29783) - you deserved it (8516)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44927) - you deserved it (2936)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

#21337228
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32834) - you deserved it (5000)

On 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm - misc - by bloody_hell (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

#21330918
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29451) - you deserved it (6365)

On 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm - love - by myboyfriendisweird - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43388) - you deserved it (5726)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42379) - you deserved it (2912)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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