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2DeeJay0

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2DeeJay0

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  • Number of visits : 347
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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2DeeJay0's page activity

Visits<b>CallMeMctwo</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 9:51pm<b>olpally</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 11:32pm<b>coffee2353</b> - the 07/12/2013 at 1:12pm<b>410andree</b> - the 07/10/2013 at 9:06am

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2DeeJay0's favorite FMLs

Today, I was doing homework and I had my leg bent in a funny position. When I stood up, my hip dislocated. It was the most painful thing I've ever experienced. When people ask me what happened, I have to say I dislocated my hip doing calculus. FML

#21381072
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25786) - you deserved it (2686)

On 03/25/2015 at 12:24am - health - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while walking my dog, we came across two men having a heated argument in the street. My dog decided the perfect place to poop was right next to them. He wouldn't budge no matter what. Meanwhile, one of the men pulled a knife, and I practically shat myself. FML

#21374140
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29540) - you deserved it (2435)

On 03/13/2015 at 11:30pm - misc - by Anonymous -

Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML

#21373551
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28428) - you deserved it (3864)

On 03/13/2015 at 12:19am - health - by numbtongue - New Zealand (Otago)

Today, my husband recited to me the name and model number of every single weapon in the game Doom, along with what they did and roughly where to find them. Last month, he forgot my birthday. We've been married for 6 years; he hasn't played Doom in at least 10. FML

#21353586
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31858) - you deserved it (3258)

On 02/10/2015 at 7:00pm - love - by doomed (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex. In the middle of it he said, "I want us to be covalent bonds". I didn't understand what he meant, and he actually stopped to explain it to me. FML

#21346746
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25639) - you deserved it (6950)

On 01/30/2015 at 10:11am - intimacy - by Chemist-why (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41755) - you deserved it (2517)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was faced with the inevitable horrible circumstances which lead me to put in a tampon on a moving city bus. FML

#21337228
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30511) - you deserved it (4551)

On 01/14/2015 at 9:18pm - misc - by bloody_hell (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

#21330918
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27789) - you deserved it (6116)

On 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm - love - by myboyfriendisweird - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40886) - you deserved it (5070)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I witnessed my very overweight cat trying to jump over my fence, only to shit himself half way up, and then land in it. FML

Today, I felt a horrible pain while having sex with my wife, and I had to stop. I thought it was a hernia or something, but she called me a liar and accused me of everything from not finding her attractive, to me cheating on her. It turned out I had appendicitis. She still won't apologize. FML

#21319192
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (2551)

On 12/17/2014 at 3:09pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my boyfriend bought me some feminine cleansing wipes for my birthday so I could, "get the hoo-ha spick-and-span." FML

#21309102
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33535) - you deserved it (5795)

On 11/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by fishtacos (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35945) - you deserved it (3592)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend jerking off to what I thought was porn on his phone. He was actually beating it to Siri's voice. FML

#21280577
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37015) - you deserved it (3455)

On 10/18/2014 at 5:43pm - intimacy - by fizzie101 - United States (California)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48123) - you deserved it (3550)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

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