Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

2856B9BD

Search for a member

2856B9BD

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 9 August 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1138
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 2856B9BD : Scrumdiddlyumptious!

2856B9BD's page activity

Visits<b>Toby13</b> - the 04/11/2012 at 11:23pm

2856B9BD's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

See all of 2856B9BD's badges

2856B9BD's favorite FMLs

Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML

#3587785
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66200) - you deserved it (4943)

On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML

#3017259
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41537) - you deserved it (5321)

On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)

Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML

#2494614
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18615) - you deserved it (46917)

On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML

#2349846
310 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58381) - you deserved it (7466)

On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML

#1579657
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57335) - you deserved it (3827)

On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my mother called me downstairs to give me what I assumed was going to be "The Talk" (About four years too late). So she sits me down, holds my hands, and with the gentlest, most motherly expression on her face tells me, "Honey, if you ever come home pregnant, I'll kill you and the baby." FML

Today, I saw a spider in my bathtub, so instead of killing it, i decided to bring my dog inside the bathroom to kill the spider for me. Turns out that the spider was a black widow, and my dog was bit. The dog killed the spider. The spider killed my dog. FML

#674037
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79000) - you deserved it (163264)

On 03/29/2009 at 1:04am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML

#532942
335 comments

Today, I was rubbing my dog's belly. He seemed to be enjoying it, his penis "came out". My boyfriend was walking by and said "at least you turn someone on." FML

#251133
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74810) - you deserved it (7905)

On 03/09/2009 at 1:04pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

#196936
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50053) - you deserved it (39513)

On 03/03/2009 at 4:27pm - kids - by Fat Dad (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I babysat a five year old girl. She ran up to me, threw her arms around my waist and said, "YUMMY! I'm going to eat you!" with her face in my crotch. I said sarcastically under my breath, "Finally, some action!" I turned around to find her dad staring at me, having heard. He's my cousin. FML

#159589
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17296) - you deserved it (83515)

On 02/28/2009 at 5:59am - kids - by tryena (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (79613) - you deserved it (24697)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up and it was Monday. FML

#2635
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41202) - you deserved it (9822)

On 01/26/2009 at 9:58am - misc - by buddy - United States (Michigan)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46932) - you deserved it (8758)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46932) - you deserved it (8758)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: