About 2856B9BD : Scrumdiddlyumptious!
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Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22927) - you deserved it (8325)
On 12/25/2009 at 1:28am - misc - by ScarredForLife (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was in line at the grocery store with my 3-year-old son. He was holding a tub of yogurt that had on it a cow wearing sunglasses. He shouted, "Mommy, look at the fat cow with the sunglasses on!" To my horror, the obese woman in front of us turned around. She was wearing sunglasses. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38586) - you deserved it (2235)
On 11/30/2009 at 1:59pm - misc - by annonymous - United States (California)
Today, my grandson asked how old I am and whether I'd seen Mammoths "for real" when I was a kid. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23956) - you deserved it (3601)
On 11/29/2009 at 2:13am - kids - by Granmacathy (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, the subway was extremely crowded and I ended up with my butt in a man's crotch. I kept trying to inch away or turn a different way, but there was no room. He could have turned to face the doors, but didn't. He got an erection. I was on there with him for 20 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39329) - you deserved it (3889)
On 09/26/2009 at 2:21pm - misc - by grossgross (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37278) - you deserved it (3183)
On 09/10/2009 at 3:51am - kids - by Udxero (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband came home from shopping with my 4 year old daughter and showed me a shirt she picked out herself. The shirt read "My mom's easy i'm living proof." Apparently she just liked the colours and her father agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28466) - you deserved it (2991)
On 08/22/2009 at 5:29am - kids - by naughtyshirt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, a very good platonic friend of mine said he had a question to ask me. Jokingly, I threw my arms around his neck and said 'Oh yes, yes, a thousand times yes!' When I sat back down, I saw tears in his eyes, and he said 'You've made me the happiest man alive' as he pulled a small box out of his coat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20791) - you deserved it (74696)
On 08/06/2009 at 5:25pm - love - by dundundadumb (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML
I agree, your life sucks (35127) - you deserved it (4922)
On 07/29/2009 at 1:42am - love - by Ouch (woman) - United States (South Carolina)
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31948) - you deserved it (4362)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my friend awoke me because I was talking in my sleep. When I asked her what I was talking about she replied with, "Let's just say you were having tea with the Queen of England. And a duck. You're really good at quacking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31948) - you deserved it (4362)
On 07/16/2009 at 10:59am - misc - by MadMax (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my mom turned to me and said, "You know, you're the kind of person that has to change literally everything about themselves to get a guy to like you." I thought she was joking so I laughed. She then said "Like that. Your laugh... What is that? Change that." FML
I agree, your life sucks (58957) - you deserved it (3784)
On 07/08/2009 at 5:43pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went outside a friend's house to find that my car had been saran wrapped. I cleaned it up and went back inside the house. An hour later, I heard a doorbell ring so I went outside the house. They saran wrapped my car again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36166) - you deserved it (4848)
On 06/19/2009 at 12:25am - misc - by bear92 - United States (Virginia)
Today, three women came into my work and one was wearing a shirt with a rainbow that said, "We are everywhere". I had just gotten what it was referring to and when I greeted them I ended up saying "Hi gays!" instead of the standard "Hi guys". FML
I agree, your life sucks (15636) - you deserved it (36572)
On 06/01/2009 at 6:46am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my kitten was playing with the drawstring on my pajama pants. He then jumped, clinging on to my crotch. I screamed in pain, which scared him and made him hold on tighter. My cat was literally hanging from my vagina with its claws for a good 30 seconds before I could pry him off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51551) - you deserved it (5769)
On 05/27/2009 at 6:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my 6 year old granddaughter was sitting on my lap playing with the rings on my fingers. After a moment, she pointed to a gold ring with many jewels and said, "When you die can I have that one?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (50621) - you deserved it (2803)
On 05/03/2009 at 12:16am - kids - by itswhateverr (woman) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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