About 2856B9BD : Scrumdiddlyumptious!
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Today, I got all my wisdom teeth out. Have you ever thrown up after mouth surgery? Stomach acid in your bloody gum holes is just as fun as it sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20942) - you deserved it (1221)
On 05/12/2012 at 2:41am - health - by lspicknall - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, it was my wedding day. With my best friend as the priest, she asked, "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?" After saying I do, she then turned to him and asked, "Do you want to bang my friend?" Everyone laughed, except my already disapproving father. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21724) - you deserved it (3610)
On 04/23/2012 at 12:04am - love - by gottalovefriends - United States (New Hampshire)
Today, I had a conversation about how Victoria Beckham ate fruit salad for her birthday, as if it was an important subject. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4819) - you deserved it (13500)
On 04/19/2012 at 10:14am - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)
Today, I told my girlfriend that I would still care for her if she was a vegetable. She informed me that if I was a potato, she would cut me into chips. And fry me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15445) - you deserved it (5658)
Today, I'm recovering from colon surgery. They gave me codeine as pain relief, which has made me constipated. I'm currently sat on the toilet, trying to push out what feels like a small child wrapped in barbed wire out without busting my stitches. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23155) - you deserved it (1157)
On 04/04/2012 at 6:13am - health - by screaming monkey - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)
Today, I decided to take a peek in my fiancé's vow book to see how far he's got. The only thing in there was the lyrics to a song from the movie Shrek. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7949) - you deserved it (16139)
On 02/25/2012 at 11:09pm - misc - by KMO - United States
Today, I sent out a text saying "Smile! You're beautiful and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." to most of my contacts. I got one reply, from my best friend, saying, "Are you fucking stupid?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (9816) - you deserved it (23443)
On 02/13/2012 at 11:27am - misc - by dis_bee_leaf (woman) - Canada
Today, my girlfriend referred to her yeast infection as "making bread." I can never look at bread the same way. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19741) - you deserved it (2065)
On 12/27/2011 at 10:15am - health - by themuffinman (man) - Japan
Today, my five year old ran down the street wearing nothing but flip flops, Star Wars underwear, and a baseball helmet. He was swinging a badminton racket while screaming "THIS IS SPARTA!" My neighbors watched laughing as I had to run after him down the street in my pajamas. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23316) - you deserved it (6428)
On 09/17/2011 at 9:20pm - kids - by awesomekidsmum - Canada (Ontario)
Today, my daughter spoke her first words. Her dad had been practicing with her for weeks in secret. She crawled to me and said, "I poop." FML
I agree, your life sucks (19171) - you deserved it (3105)
On 09/17/2011 at 12:36am - kids - by applesmama - United States (Tennessee)
Today, my mom and I had a fight in the car over who farted. The result? She wanted to smell my underwear when we got home, to prove it was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25265) - you deserved it (2408)
On 09/11/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by AnDroidZ_BabY - United States (Texas)
Today, my husband asked me to come see his turd. After saying no, he said, "What kind of wife are you?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (27322) - you deserved it (7186)
On 06/15/2011 at 11:53pm - misc - by randomjulz - United States
Today, my family went to Seaworld. When we got there, my dad sarcastically told me not to get lost, because I might get mistaken for Shamu. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29810) - you deserved it (5587)
On 05/19/2011 at 6:46pm - misc - by Username - United States
Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22857) - you deserved it (6181)
On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, while making my son lunch, he pooped, took off his diaper, stepped in it, and then climbed to the gate to call for me. When I arrived, he had a big smile on his face and exclaimed, "Look!" Shit footprints were everywhere. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24321) - you deserved it (3379)
On 04/08/2011 at 3:18pm - kids - by heathersmorin - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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