Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

22jrdn55

Search for a member

22jrdn55

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Thursday 29 February 1996 (18 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 4740
  • Number of comments : 488
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About 22jrdn55 : Hi, I am a very friendly, down-to-earth kind of guy. I like meeting new people every now and then. Don't worry, I don't bite, and NO I will not hunt you down nor stalk you. Although, I have been arrested a couple of times. First arrest was for attempted child molestation. The second time was for attempted murder. And my last more recent one was for first degree murder, yeah I don't really get along with people I guess. Wondering why I'm not in jail? Well, when I was young, my family went on a vacation and left me home alone. I was so angry with them, so the night they came back I set the house on fire. Luckily, I was able to run out the front door. Sadly, they didn't make it and I to watched them run around like gerbils. I've always hated gerbils, so this ways kind of hilarious for me. After their funeral, I was raised by the orphanage. Anyway, don't worry that's all in the past, right?
Don't worry I got over the illness along time ago, so don't hesitate to send me a message. :D

22jrdn55's page activity

Visits<b>macncheeze97</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 11:42pm<b>XxNekoLovexX</b> - the 10/05/2014 at 8:20pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 09/25/2014 at 11:04pm<b>yoursucklives</b> - the 09/20/2014 at 12:38am<b>pinkpig23</b> - the 09/12/2014 at 10:22pm<b>LaurenAshleigh97</b> - the 08/10/2014 at 12:32pm<b>singer0421</b> - the 08/07/2014 at 2:00pm<b>Wye14</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 1:16pm<b>Traceee</b> - the 07/30/2014 at 5:57am<b>JohnSapp</b> - the 07/19/2014 at 3:12pm<b>Agnesia</b> - the 07/11/2014 at 9:46am<b>EpicJames24</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 10:00am<b>jazmin3012</b> - the 06/11/2014 at 12:15pm<b>ToxicSilence</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 2:02pm<b>flametrafox</b> - the 05/25/2014 at 9:16am<b>omega90blargh</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 4:17pm<b>Amanyyyyyy</b> - the 04/25/2014 at 4:02pm<b>Reva750</b> - the 03/28/2014 at 1:07pm

22jrdn55's FML badges

This isn't what should be happening

You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

50 quality responses

Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.

See all of 22jrdn55's badges

22jrdn55's favorite FMLs

Today, whilst nibbling on my husband's ear, I swallowed a lump of his earwax. FML

#14986533
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37933) - you deserved it (21985)

On 02/15/2011 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Emily Salt -

Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML

#14985221
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9220) - you deserved it (31913)

On 02/15/2011 at 1:25am - misc - by a fatty -

Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML

#14981056
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (3468)

On 02/14/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by moe (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML

#14975268
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43904) - you deserved it (3983)

On 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by bleu_noir (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML

#14935582
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27579) - you deserved it (3363)

On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML

Today, my best friend decided to start dating my ex. We broke up yesterday. She also thinks I'm crazy because I'm upset about it. FML

#14917396
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40356) - you deserved it (3715)

On 02/10/2011 at 12:16am - love - by effyou (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML

#14908871
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29360) - you deserved it (11888)

On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)

Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML

#14906275
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11333) - you deserved it (41069)

On 02/09/2011 at 5:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we had to evaluate each other in class. Apparently I'm a quarrelsome, uncommitted, commanding bitch. FML

#14906139
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9853) - you deserved it (30815)

On 02/09/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by Heretique (woman) - Norway (Finnmark)

Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML

#14905447
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22385) - you deserved it (6884)

On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML

#9011499
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24145) - you deserved it (11738)

On 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML

#5002532
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38737) - you deserved it (16960)

On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees, when some of his mates turned up at the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML

#4908594
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50516) - you deserved it (4666)

On 08/29/2009 at 3:56pm - love - by legallyblondemad (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML

#4906491
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13815) - you deserved it (47825)

On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: