About 22jrdn55 : Hi, I am a very friendly, down-to-earth kind of guy. I like meeting new people every now and then. Don't worry, I don't bite, and NO I will not hunt you down nor stalk you. Although, I have been arrested a couple of times. First arrest was for attempted child molestation. The second time was for attempted murder. And my last more recent one was for first degree murder, yeah I don't really get along with people I guess. Wondering why I'm not in jail? Well, when I was young, my family went on a vacation and left me home alone. I was so angry with them, so the night they came back I set the house on fire. Luckily, I was able to run out the front door. Sadly, they didn't make it and I to watched them run around like gerbils. I've always hated gerbils, so this ways kind of hilarious for me. After their funeral, I was raised by the orphanage. Anyway, don't worry that's all in the past, right?
Don't worry I got over the illness along time ago, so don't hesitate to send me a message. :D
This isn't what should be happening
You've set the cat off again, he's started pushing fruit out of bodies of water. Well done.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
Today, whilst nibbling on my husband's ear, I swallowed a lump of his earwax. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32048) - you deserved it (16606)
On 02/15/2011 at 3:34am - intimacy - by Emily Salt -
Today, the lady running the pastry shop asked who I buy the second pastry for every day. I lied and told her that it's for a coworker. I eat them both. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7113) - you deserved it (23739)
On 02/15/2011 at 1:25am - misc - by a fatty -
Today, the only person to wish me a Happy Valentine's day was a wrong number calling my cell phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25114) - you deserved it (3089)
On 02/14/2011 at 10:07pm - love - by moe (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, someone at work put their used, bloodied tampon applicator back in its wrapper, and into the free tampon bin for some sucker to grab. That sucker was me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37843) - you deserved it (3523)
On 02/14/2011 at 4:34pm - intimacy - by bleu_noir (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that as a result of working in an office which has an oddly-placed window, the direct sunlight has caused the left side of my face to become significantly darker than the right. Just call me Harvey Dent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22620) - you deserved it (2629)
On 02/11/2011 at 1:15pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my sister lost a leg. Immediately after hearing the news, my boyfriend started cracking jokes about getting her a job at IHOP. FML
I agree, your life sucks (39853) - you deserved it (4570)
On 02/11/2011 at 1:13am - misc - by mariet (woman) - United States
Today, my best friend decided to start dating my ex. We broke up yesterday. She also thinks I'm crazy because I'm upset about it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34466) - you deserved it (2888)
On 02/10/2011 at 12:16am - love - by effyou (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was walking in the park with my boyfriend of 3 years. He stopped and knelt down in front of me. I started to panic, then he told me to calm down, my shoe was untied. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24228) - you deserved it (9537)
On 02/09/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by maddie! - United States (New York)
Today, to give the illusion that I have friends, I wrote an outrageous status on Facebook, and then pretended it was the result of a friend hacking my page, all in the hope that it would get comments, likes or at least some attention. Nothing happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9453) - you deserved it (35478)
On 02/09/2011 at 5:02am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, we had to evaluate each other in class. Apparently I'm a quarrelsome, uncommitted, commanding bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7649) - you deserved it (22797)
On 02/09/2011 at 4:30am - misc - by Heretique (woman) - Norway (Finnmark)
Today, it was my first day at work as a cashier. I was so nervous that my whole body got numb and my eye sight completely blurred. I ran to the bathroom blind while bumping into everything in the store, making sure that everyone knew I had a problem. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17004) - you deserved it (5359)
On 02/09/2011 at 2:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I went to get my first tattoo. When I told the man that I wanted Tinkerbell on my lower back area. He snorted and told me that I was way too old to have Tinkerbell on me, and that Disney characters are only cute on people 35 and younger. I'm 23. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18000) - you deserved it (8655)
On 03/11/2010 at 10:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)
Today, I went to my school to take my yearbook picture. I was wearing a shirt that said ANALOG on the front. When I bent in to take the picture, part of my shirt overlapped itself. Now I'm known as the ANAL kid in the yearbook. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33593) - you deserved it (2012)
On 09/02/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by boytoy (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was at the park with my new boyfriend. We were sitting between some trees, when some of his mates turned up at the park. He pushed me behind a tree so his mates wouldn't see and went to join them in a game of football. He pretended not to know me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43846) - you deserved it (3563)
On 08/29/2009 at 3:56pm - love - by legallyblondemad (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)
Today, I had to give a speech on the importance of dental hygiene. I got really nervous, so I did what I've heard in movies. I pictured everyone naked, began staring at a hot blonde in the front, and got hard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11180) - you deserved it (43330)
On 08/29/2009 at 2:06pm - intimacy - by SOdamnNervous (man) - United States (Louisiana)
Monday 17 June 2013
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