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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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1suckatL1fe

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1suckatL1fe
  • Town/Country : Chesapeake, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Saturday 8 February 1986 (26 years)
  • Number of visits : 32914
  • Number of comments : 4
  • Number of FMLs : 1 confirmed out of 8 posted

About 1suckatL1fe : a Hopeless Romantic

1suckatL1fe's last visitors

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1suckatL1fe's favorite FMLs

Today, I had my first real date with my first serious boyfriend. I was nervous because from past experience. I learned my lips were a bit ticklish and I usually giggled a bit during kissing. Well, we started making out and I thought was I doing pretty good hiding my laughs. Until I wet myself. FML

#4819197 (150)

I agree, your life sucks (37032) - you deserved it (7232)

On 08/25/2009 at 7:56pm - love - by RitaDahhlinnnng (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while I was watching Miley Cyrus' new music video, I had an itch near my bikini line that I couldn't reach through my jeans. So I unzipped my pants to get to it, and that's when my boyfriend walked in on me with my hands down my pants. He thought I was getting off on the music video. FML

#4555175 (235)

I agree, your life sucks (36582) - you deserved it (15857)

On 08/15/2009 at 7:24pm - intimacy - by notguilty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I hooked up with the guy I've been seeing. Apparently he doesn't believe in condoms and took it off without my knowing; I didn't realize until after. When I asked him in horror why he would do such a thing, he said "I love you. I want you to have my child." It had been our second date. FML

#4408300 (384)

I agree, your life sucks (53737) - you deserved it (24500)

On 08/09/2009 at 2:07pm - intimacy - by SoniaLovesYou - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I went out drinking with a female friend I've been crushing on for a while now. After we'd been talking and had a few, She said 'Man, I haven't gotten laid in months! Do you mind?'. Surprised but hopeful, I nodded. She leaned over, hugged me, and went to hit on a guy at the bar. FML

#4356438 (96)

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (3348)

On 08/07/2009 at 5:43am - love - by ineedanotherdrink (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was following my girlfriend up the stairs, I was pretty sure I was going to get lucky. As I was almost up the set of stairs, she lifted her skirt and revealed to me that she wasn't wearing any panties. I fell backwards down the stairs. FML

#4275637 (171)

I agree, your life sucks (34484) - you deserved it (13779)

On 08/04/2009 at 3:55am - love - by Ouchithurt (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my enraged girlfriend told me she was fired from her nurse job for no reason. I called her employer to find out why. He told me that she was caught "helping out" a male patient, and that supposedly she has done the same with just about every good looking guy that comes into the hospital. FML

#4257734 (129)

I agree, your life sucks (48203) - you deserved it (2258)

On 08/03/2009 at 3:25pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. After a few minutes of conversing, he told me he didn't need to give me a ticket. He then asked for a date. I politely declined. After staring at me for a very long moment, he said "I think I'm going to have to give you that ticket after all." FML

#4255816 (203)

I agree, your life sucks (36637) - you deserved it (18561)

On 08/03/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by WearingOff (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it was my wedding day, and while I was standing next to my husband in front of all of our guests, I was rocking on my heels because I was nervous. I rocked too far and fell backward. My husband didn't come to help me up. He just said at the top of his lungs, "FAIL!" FML

#4219573 (237)

I agree, your life sucks (50432) - you deserved it (10398)

On 08/02/2009 at 12:21am - love - by thefailure (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, a friend offered to have sex with me, since I'm a 19 year old virgin who's only been kissed. He then added on that I would have to give him my Wii in return. FML

#4159325 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (37445) - you deserved it (4700)

On 07/30/2009 at 11:52am - intimacy - by VelocityMary (woman) - United States - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

#4133351 (348)

I agree, your life sucks (51323) - you deserved it (4755)

On 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, my boyfriend came over so that we could have some "fun". It turns out, his idea of foreplay is squishing my breasts together and making them talk. FML

#4113781 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (42479) - you deserved it (6056)

On 07/28/2009 at 6:28pm - intimacy - by notsexy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend told me that we would be living out one of his fantasies. When I showed up, ready to go, he began playing the theme song to Star Trek and asked me to call him Mr. Spock. FML

#4095449 (201)

I agree, your life sucks (36162) - you deserved it (5561)

On 07/28/2009 at 12:15am - intimacy - by saynotochrispine (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I went on a date with a girl. She drove while texting someone then stopped at a house and told me to wait in the car. She left her phone so I looked at the last text and it says "I'm here for the quicky". Our "date" was a decoy to throw her mom off so she could sleep with another guy. FML

#3877886 (209)

I agree, your life sucks (54964) - you deserved it (2917)

On 07/19/2009 at 8:44am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friend put a bunch of cheetos all over me at the beach while I was taking a nap. Next thing I know I'm being woken up by a bunch of seagulls attacking me. One pooped in my hair. FML

#3792988 (82)

I agree, your life sucks (34991) - you deserved it (3178)

On 07/16/2009 at 2:30am - misc - by kewlcat (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

#3782569 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (36945) - you deserved it (4720)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)