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1known

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1known

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  • Number of visits : 40041
  • Number of comments : 18
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1known's favorite FMLs

Today, my husband came home, drunk and with lipstick smeared on his face. When I confronted him about it, he just slurred, "Ah don't worry babe, it ain't mine." FML

#21343515
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11687) - you deserved it (823)

On 01/24/2015 at 3:26pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)

Today, I drove my dad to Walmart to do some shopping. His leg is still in a cast after an accident, so I helped him to the last mobility scooter. A guy whose only disability was clearly Fat-Fuck Syndrome then yelled at us, claiming he needed it more and that my dad was a faker. FML

#21343482
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12263) - you deserved it (848)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:25pm - misc - by Elrond Hubbard (man) - United States

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13258) - you deserved it (883)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, my manager gave me hell for leaving the restaurant early yesterday. Guilty as charged, but only because I was rushed to the hospital after going into diabetic shock. This assmunch is convinced that I either faked it all to get off work early, or that I'd been eating our own stock. FML

#21343418
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18576) - you deserved it (1253)

On 01/24/2015 at 12:24pm - work - by Anonymous -

Today, at dinner, my downstair's neighbors described how they can listen to most of my movements, including the buzz of my phone when I text late at night. I think all of us knew it is not my phone that vibrates at that time. FML

#21343273
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19521) - you deserved it (2973)

On 01/24/2015 at 2:57am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized my job working with food is getting to me. While having sex with my boyfriend, I fell asleep. He asked me what I was doing, and apparently I sleep-talked, saying "I'm chopping lettuce". FML

#21343098
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21819) - you deserved it (2624)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by xoragebaby - United States

Today, I saw selfies of my aunt and her friends on Facebook having a great time. They took the pictures at my mother's funeral last week. FML

#21343089
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23886) - you deserved it (1506)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:17pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dad uploaded his porn collection onto our family server. My mom was convinced I did it and sat me down for a long talk. FML

#21343084
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21260) - you deserved it (1545)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27978) - you deserved it (4935)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my asshat roommate tricked me into eating a weed brownie. I thought it was his terrible attempt at baking regular brownies until it kicked in at college. I was so high, I started giggling like a schoolgirl when my instructor said "Dickens". Now everyone thinks I'm a retard. FML

#21342882
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22897) - you deserved it (3105)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:12pm - misc - by Annomymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend told me that her fear of PDA has gotten so bad, she doesn't think she'll even be able to kiss me on our wedding day. Her parents are going be there and she can't imagine showing affection in front of other people, let alone her parents. FML

#21342878
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24790) - you deserved it (2128)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:09pm - love - by uggg - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out why I receive random drug tests at work. The safety department was specifically told by my boss to check up on me because I always seem way too cheerful to not be high. I've passed every single test. FML

#21342840
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23510) - you deserved it (1848)

On 01/23/2015 at 11:41am - work - by Ineedlotsofwater (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my girlfriend was rushed to the hospital with anal tearing. We've never tried anal before, but it turns out she and my "best friend" sure have. FML

#21342800
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33070) - you deserved it (2045)

On 01/23/2015 at 9:58am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I started at my new job. Turns out my boss is a complete douchebag. He spent most of the day looking over our shoulders and making cuntish comments about our work, then called a guy a piece of shit for farting and forced him to spray disinfectant on his chair. FML

#21342765
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23324) - you deserved it (1989)

On 01/23/2015 at 8:27am - work - by Mishlette (woman) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, my boyfriend uploaded a pic to snapchat that said "the love of my life." It was a pic of our beautiful baby girl. Then he uploaded another pic that said "the 2nd love of my life." It was a pic of the fuel truck he drives for work. FML

#21342658
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24225) - you deserved it (3198)

On 01/23/2015 at 1:33am - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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  • Oi! Stop "playing" that digeridoo and get out! There, now that I've tidied up my apartment, we can begin. How are you all doing? Have you got your leather jacket out of storage to go hang out down at…

Thursday 22 January 2015

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