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1known

Offline (the 09/27/2014 at 6:59am) | Search for a member

1known

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  • Number of visits : 30929
  • Number of comments : 17
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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Visits<b>jezzilla</b> - the 05/02/2014 at 10:46pm<b>innnadaze</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 1:48pm<b>_Brookiie_13</b> - the 05/28/2009 at 3:13am<b>nicco196</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 3:42pm<b>he_b_gb</b> - the 05/27/2009 at 8:28am

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1known's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my 12-year-old son what he wanted for his birthday. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, "A whore." FML

#21265910
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32770) - you deserved it (5158)

On 09/26/2014 at 5:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30713) - you deserved it (3527)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I heard my boyfriend talking with my father in the backyard. I thought he was asking for my hand in marriage. He was actually telling him about his plans to break up with me. FML

#21265851
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31289) - you deserved it (3107)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:13pm - love - by ihateguys (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was asked to order a new lockable cash tin for work. When my boss returned to ask which one I'd selected, I said, "An 8-inch black one". Her giggle said it all. FML

#21265697
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27905) - you deserved it (5292)

On 09/26/2014 at 9:03am - work - by dicksonthebrain (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I went on a blind date that my friend set up. He greeted me with a winning smile, a belch, and the words, "Nice tits." I'm beginning to lose hope. FML

#21265612
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30328) - you deserved it (2801)

On 09/26/2014 at 2:56am - love - by bri_sci94 - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I have such severe ADD that I can't focus without my medication. When I take the medication, I can only focus on one thing, but not necessarily the thing I need to be focusing on. I have a chem test soon, and I've been vacuuming my room for the past 4 hours. FML

#21265203
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36883) - you deserved it (3797)

On 09/25/2014 at 3:32pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was opening the door for my boyfriend, I pressed my boobs against the glass to make him laugh. I didn't see his dad standing just behind him at first, but he certainly saw me. FML

#21265100
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28007) - you deserved it (8443)

On 09/25/2014 at 11:52am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, we had a meeting at my job and we had to introduce new ideas to our boss. Earlier, I was talking to one of my close friends who also attended the meeting about my idea. As we start the meeting, she decides to steal my idea and take complete credit for it. My boss loves "her" idea. FML

#21265023
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33880) - you deserved it (5572)

On 09/25/2014 at 8:18am - work - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I was told by my doctor I should start eating meat again after two years of vegetarianism, in an effort to be healthier. After horrid gas after my first turkey sandwich, I was told that my body no longer has the enzymes to digest meat. My efforts to be healthy crippled my stomach. FML

#21264930
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26464) - you deserved it (13013)

On 09/25/2014 at 2:21am - health - by skollasch - United States (California)

Today, I have learned a lot of "big" words from reading so much, but can actually only pronounce about half of them correctly. FML

#21264917
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24026) - you deserved it (5545)

On 09/25/2014 at 1:48am - misc - by anon (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, while working as a teacher at a daycare, a two year-old girl decided the best way to share that she had pooped was to reach in her diaper and attempt to hand some to me. FML

#21264874
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27814) - you deserved it (2573)

On 09/25/2014 at 12:03am - kids - by disgusted - United States (Maine)

Today, my mom threw away a bag of tiny parts belonging to a $1,700 robot. Naturally, I figured this out at midnight and had to spend 30 minutes digging through three nasty trashcans overflowing with rotten food and spiders. The bag was dripping with what looked like cheese by the time I found it. FML

Today, after waiting well over a month for a work visa in Germany that should only have taken 3 weeks to come through, I finally received my long-awaited answer. Unfortunately, that answer was "We lost your paperwork." FML

#21264505
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31247) - you deserved it (2103)

On 09/24/2014 at 1:17pm - work - by AdriftInTheSeaOfPaperwork (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to use the porta potty at the construction site I work at and found two homeless people having sex in it. I almost got fired, because my advisor blamed me. FML

#21264426
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32952) - you deserved it (2587)

On 09/24/2014 at 9:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States



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