About 1happymummy : English country bumpkin, mum of one, waiting until I rule the world.
1happymummy's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
1happymummy's favorite FMLs
Today, I texted my Dad to tell him I'm staying at my boyfriend's house and won't be home. Since I had predictive text on, my phone didn't quite get the word 'home' - the message I sent said, 'I'm staying at Will's, I'll not be good tonight.' FML
by embarrassed / 12/20/2009 at 7:26pm / United Kingdom (Belfast) / Love
Today, my mom revealed to me that when I was in Preschool, I used to get caught in the bathroom with little boys while I was feeling their "no no" area. I was giving hand jobs to boys before I could read. FML
by Anonymous / 12/15/2009 at 9:20pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by chacha / 11/28/2009 at 1:11pm / United States / Intimacy
by pussystroker / 11/19/2009 at 12:20pm / United Kingdom (Peterborough) / Intimacy
Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
by laxie / 10/26/2009 at 8:42pm / United States (Texas) / Kids
Today, while shopping for some bananas at my local grocery store, an old woman came up to me and started rubbing my stomach. She simply asked when I was due. I am a 43 year old man with a beer belly. FML
by fmlifetime / 10/24/2009 at 6:24pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by ripfluffy / 09/28/2009 at 3:15am / United States (Oklahoma) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up from a nap on my new bed to see my phone lit up with new texts. My friend sent out "Wanna test out my new bed?" as a mass text while I was asleep to every boy in my phone. Mark will be here in an hour, Jon wants to know what I'm wearing, and my ex's new girlfriend is not amused. FML
by Anathema_360 / 09/20/2009 at 7:19pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I awakened from my peaceful slumber in a great mood. I walked into my closet, ready to pick out an outfit for the day, to find my two year old daughter, kneeling on the floor with a pair of scissors in her hand, cutting up my wedding dress - my wedding is tomorrow. FML
by Anonymous / 09/03/2009 at 1:05pm / United Kingdom (Nottingham) / Kids
by helenablitz / 08/28/2009 at 2:42am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, my 6 year old daughter somehow learned about sex. She also had the open house at her school where she meets her new teachers. When the teacher asked where she came from, she said, "My daddy's happy sacks." FML
by Ben / 08/21/2009 at 5:28pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, my boyfriend introduced me to his family. They were drinking and having fun, so I joined in. I had one too many, got really goofy and then suggested the farting game. "Sorry, I can't hold my liquor!" I quickly explained. My boyfriend's mom shot me a cold look and said, "It's non-alcoholic." FML
by probably_the_ex_now / 08/18/2009 at 4:04am / United States (Louisiana) / Miscellaneous
by JPF / 08/12/2009 at 11:13pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Intimacy
Today, I flew my girlfriend to Paris for our one year anniversary. Little did I know that instead of going up the Eiffel Tower and over looking the most romantic city she would rather spend it in bed with a French man. FML
by Anonymous / 08/08/2009 at 5:42am / United Kingdom (Bolton) / Love
Today, I brought my lunch to work in the only box I had lying around my apartment - a small one from FedEx. When I went to the bathroom before lunch, I returned to my desk to find that one of my coworkers had mailed my lunch back to my apartment. FML
by fedexed / 07/27/2009 at 3:12pm / United States (California) / Work
- 1Today, my neighbor's 4-year-old daughter came up to me and asked if she could have my dog. When I… 2Today, after working for Uber for a few weeks I realized that my driver rating was dropping. After… 3Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the…
- Today, my boyfriend wanted to show me that he listened to me yesterday: I said that I loved unusual… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my… Today, I'm looking after three little girls, aged 3, 5 and 7 years old. We're watching Bambi, and…