About 1happymummy : English country bumpkin, mum of one, waiting until I rule the world.
1happymummy's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
1happymummy's favorite FMLs
Today, a cute guy in a bar came up to me, and we started chatting. I'm a natural blonde, and he commented on how nice my hair was. He then followed this up with, "Does the carpet match the curtains?" FML
by Anonymous / 08/15/2011 at 11:31pm / United States / Intimacy
by whatnot / 08/04/2011 at 12:04am / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money
by aarone23 / 06/01/2011 at 9:30am / United States (Oklahoma) / Transportation
Today, my boyfriend came over to have dinner with my parents. They got quite drunk, and my mom shouted at him, "Have you had sex with my daughter?" As he was shaking his head, my dad said, "I have" in a really creepy voice, thinking it would be funny. It wasn't. FML
by Chels / 05/11/2011 at 1:17am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by Toothy / 04/02/2011 at 1:03am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by mugged / 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm / United States (New York) / Animals
Today, I was answering a text from one of my students asking me if they could re-take a test. I thought I'd texted back "No, you can't." Auto correct had used a more frequently used word: "No, you cunt." FML
by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 6:22am / United States (California) / Work
by verasam01 / 02/24/2011 at 7:37pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by SkinsCastSelection / 01/17/2011 at 4:53am / France / Love
Today, my mother was over visiting. My three year old ran out of my room chasing the cat with his toy. He smacked the cat with it, the cat scratched him, he dropped it and ran away. I was busy with the baby so I asked my mom to take the toy away. She walked back holding my pink dildo. FML
by bottomdrawerraider / 11/17/2010 at 12:13pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 11/16/2010 at 3:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was at the doctors office after throwing up for the past week. My diagnosis? Apparently I'm the first pregnant man. After several minutes of me freaking out and him explaining how it was possible, he told me he was joking and that I'm fine, but my reaction was the best thus far. FML
by youreajoker / 11/10/2010 at 5:28am / Australia (New South Wales) / Health
Today, I took my four year old son to the playground. When it was time to go, he squirmed out of my arms back to the jungle gym. Not being the type of mother to put up with bad behavior, I swatted his rear and told him we had to go. That's when I realized I'd just spanked the wrong child who was wearing the same coat as my son. FML
by lilmamma / 11/05/2010 at 1:29pm / United States (California) / Kids
- Today, my mom's guilt tripping reached a new level when she told me all she wanted for her birthday… Today, and for the last few days I've stopped texting the people I talk with daily to see if they'd… Today, my aunt died. My uncle died just last week and my boss refuses to give me time off for the…