Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

1happymummy

Online | Search for a member

1happymummy

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 February 1992 (23 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1530
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 1happymummy : English country bumpkin, mum of one, waiting until I rule the world.

1happymummy's page activity

Visits<b>Mukuro</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 1:23pm<b>SwagBasket</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:13pm<b>DaRooster333</b> - the 12/27/2014 at 11:34pm<b>RandomPersonOk</b> - the 12/18/2014 at 1:41am<b>sarge1911</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:01pm<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:14pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:43pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:03am<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:27am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 8:16am<b>subduedbeast</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:24pm<b>kampff</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 3:07am<b>starcaller17</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>IAreBox</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:18pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:22pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 7:23pm<b>AHandsomeCookie</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:52pm<b>XFails13</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:03am

1happymummy's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of 1happymummy's badges

1happymummy's favorite FMLs

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
429 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42122) - you deserved it (4060)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I tried to put together some flat-pack furniture. I wound up in my underpants, screaming stuff like, "Fuck you, fucking Ikea bastard" at pieces of confusing plywood. FML

#19488517
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9353) - you deserved it (17931)

On 04/18/2012 at 3:18am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML

#19475030
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19249) - you deserved it (36838)

On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada

Today, I came out to my parents. They still think I'm joking. FML

#19469914
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27642) - you deserved it (5304)

On 04/15/2012 at 12:12am - misc - by Gayeveryday (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is afraid of female orgasms. Right as I was about to climax, he panicked, pulled out, and ran into the bathroom. FML

#19410577
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38489) - you deserved it (3015)

On 04/05/2012 at 2:47am - intimacy - by displeased - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I thought about how my dad went to get me a Halloween costume and hasn't come home yet. That was 11 years ago. We've moved twice since then. FML

#19369767
245 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40258) - you deserved it (2527)

On 03/29/2012 at 12:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I gave in and let my friend give me a makeover. She couldn't find my eyelash curler, but decided that if she used scissors lightly, it would work just the same. Needless to say, it did not work. FML

#19286759
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10388) - you deserved it (27145)

On 03/16/2012 at 1:11am - misc - by neveragain - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

#19264126
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29087) - you deserved it (6051)

On 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm - love - by yamsterr (man) - United States

Today, my dad got so drunk that he proposed to me. FML

#19072659
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35791) - you deserved it (2712)

On 02/14/2012 at 9:29am - love - by Illinoisgirl - Hungary (Budapest)

Today, my mom was freaking out about me handling a CD-ROM with my bare hands. When I asked her what all the commotion was about, she said she was worried that I would catch "one of those computer viruses" she'd heard about on the news. FML

#18974920
217 comments

Today, I was left at the altar. For the second time. By the same man. FML

#18949271
282 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31554) - you deserved it (56757)

On 01/30/2012 at 12:37am - love - by givingup (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my daughter brought her new boyfriend over for dinner. I realize now why she said we would get along great: we graduated high school together. FML

#18689614
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43827) - you deserved it (3180)

On 01/02/2012 at 8:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my baby son latched onto my nipple for a feed, after a month of having to be bottle fed because he wouldn't latch. This would be fantastic, if it weren't for the fact that I'm his father, not his mother. FML

#18191670
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39081) - you deserved it (3864)

On 11/08/2011 at 9:01am - kids - by possiblyoverweight (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, my dad told me I'm no longer allowed to see my boyfriend. Apparently there is a deer camera above my driveway that snaps pictures whenever it senses movement. Too bad I didn't know that when I was giving my boyfriend head in the driveway. FML

#17627685
270 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16624) - you deserved it (53495)

On 08/31/2011 at 3:36am - intimacy - by Username - United States

Today, I finally found out that the tattoo on my lower back means "slut" in Chinese, instead of "good fortune" as I always thought it did. FML

#17612047
259 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12160) - you deserved it (52709)

On 08/29/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by slut (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



Caroline Maerten's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • FML's Question Time #1: Valentine's Day
  • It's a brand new Valentine's day, so here's a brand new blog section. Yep, you read that right, we're using the fact that Valentine's day is vaguely a controversial…

Friday 13 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: