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1happymummy

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1happymummy

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Monday 3 February 1992 (22 years)
  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 1320
  • Number of comments : 147
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 1happymummy : English country bumpkin, mum of one, waiting until I rule the world.

1happymummy's page activity

Visits<b>RandomPersonOk</b> - 13 hours ago<b>sarge1911</b> - the 11/20/2014 at 3:01pm<b>dustydick</b> - the 10/19/2014 at 2:14pm<b>rocker_chick23</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 6:43pm<b>paskievitchjack</b> - the 10/07/2014 at 2:03am<b>ermagherdaturdis</b> - the 09/27/2014 at 6:27am<b>ZY1431</b> - the 09/26/2014 at 8:16am<b>subduedbeast</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 1:24pm<b>kampff</b> - the 09/18/2014 at 3:07am<b>starcaller17</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:39pm<b>IAreBox</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 5:18pm<b>morondon000</b> - the 08/06/2014 at 1:22pm<b>TheFirstHipster</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 7:23pm<b>AHandsomeCookie</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 3:52pm<b>XFails13</b> - the 08/02/2014 at 1:03am<b>somthingstupd</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 11:52pm<b>Ayezed</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:26pm<b>Garrison21</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 5:40pm

1happymummy's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

See all of 1happymummy's badges

1happymummy's favorite FMLs

Today, my little sister decided it would be funny to hide in the washroom closet while I was taking a piss. I wasn't pissing, I was wanking. FML

#21281971
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36551) - you deserved it (11074)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm - intimacy - by John (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that when I asked my buddy to make sure my girlfriend was safe while I was abroad, he really did; he even used a condom. FML

#21268339
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43645) - you deserved it (3981)

On 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML

#21266933
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47333) - you deserved it (3522)

On 09/28/2014 at 11:30am - intimacy - by tw@ (woman) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML

#21265897
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35734) - you deserved it (3650)

On 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm - misc - by Operation Yewtree here I come (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39179) - you deserved it (9900)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was watching "My Strange Addiction". The woman featured ate rocks. While judging her weird habit, I realised I was chewing on a coat-hanger the whole time. FML

#21256247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31830) - you deserved it (11755)

On 09/11/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by ayeayeboy19 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, I complimented a guy on his beard. His response? "Thanks. Wanna sit on it?" FML

Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML

#20950555
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42859) - you deserved it (7987)

On 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML

#20427625
211 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38300) - you deserved it (14550)

On 12/28/2012 at 10:14am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML

#20144826
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28490) - you deserved it (2933)

On 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm - love - by for fuck sake dad (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, my 14-year-old step-daughter announced that she is 4 months pregnant. The father is my 15-year-old son. FML

#20111886
522 comments

I agree, your life sucks (75151) - you deserved it (8794)

On 10/11/2012 at 10:30am - kids - by wdunn69733 - United States (Georgia)

Today, in the middle of what had to be the most amazing blowjob I've ever had in my life, my girlfriend had a mental breakdown and began weeping on top of my cock. FML

#20070700
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30729) - you deserved it (7450)

On 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm - intimacy - by blueballs (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33275) - you deserved it (1527)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML

#19536972
287 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24638) - you deserved it (4271)

On 04/27/2012 at 11:24am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
427 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42039) - you deserved it (3835)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon



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