About 1happymummy : English country bumpkin, mum of one, waiting until I rule the world.
1happymummy's FML badges
You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!
You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.
You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.
1happymummy's favorite FMLs
by Mkimmi / 02/12/2015 at 2:39am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy
by John / 10/20/2014 at 8:29pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 09/30/2014 at 1:45pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, my drunk husband came home, got into bed, and started humping the body pillow. He ended up whining about how I hadn't come yet, then angrily slurred that I must be cheating on him. All I could do was stay quiet and wonder how the idiot even made it home alive. FML
by tw@ / 09/28/2014 at 11:30am / United Kingdom (Hertford) / Intimacy
Today, I was sitting on a bench at the local park, eating a banana. A guy old enough to be my grandfather walked by, turned to look at me, then said "Young man, I wish I were that banana." He walked away, and I almost blacked out choking on it in shock. FML
by Operation Yewtree here I come / 09/26/2014 at 4:40pm / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous
Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML
by RuinedTheMood / 09/21/2014 at 1:11am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
by ayeayeboy19 / 09/11/2014 at 10:57am / United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of) / Miscellaneous
by littleteapot / 09/04/2014 at 10:47pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, she did it again. While I was minding my own business reading the paper, she casually walked up to me and slashed my face with her nails, drawing blood and screams of pain. I need to get out of this abusive relationship, but no one will adopt my asshole of a cat. FML
by Anonymous / 11/08/2013 at 6:02pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I woke up with an engagement ring on my left hand. The same one I refused last month. My boyfriend apparently waited for me to be drunk to propose again last night, and has already posted the pics on Facebook. FML
by Anonymous / 12/28/2012 at 10:14am / Canada (Quebec) / Love
Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. My dad looked at him and said, "Nice outfit, but it's a little late for Halloween." Before I could intervene, my boyfriend said that joke had been done to death, to which my dad retorted, "Yeah, so has your mum." Instant fistfight. FML
by for fuck sake dad / 11/02/2012 at 7:50pm / Ireland (Limerick) / Love
by wdunn69733 / 10/11/2012 at 10:30am / United States (Georgia) / Kids
by blueballs / 09/13/2012 at 8:06pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML
by Anonymous / 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 04/27/2012 at 11:24am / United States / Love
- Today, a piece of candy thrown from the top of the Eiffel Tower broke one the frames of my glasses.… Today, I took a restroom break in a Japanese train station. I couldn’t find the toilet flush, so I… Today, I’m on a mission in Africa. My company driver is so old, deaf and half blind that I have to…