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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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1bored

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1bored
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  • Number of visits : 8609
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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1bored's favorite FMLs

Today, I went on a rollercoaster for the first time. I sat in the back, which was a bad idea. When it ended everyone in front of me turned around and stared. When I asked my friend what was going on, she said I had been screaming the Lord's Prayer the whole time. I hadn't even noticed. FML

#3908348 (304)

I agree, your life sucks (27400) - you deserved it (18250)

On 07/20/2009 at 4:05pm - misc - by whyme_ss - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I met with an important client to talk about his stake in the company. The guy was at least 80 years old. After taking care of business we spoke about my final year at the company. As he got up to leave he said "Good luck in your final year". Without thinking, I replied "You too". FML

#3899381 (69)

I agree, your life sucks (26030) - you deserved it (10249)

On 07/20/2009 at 3:13am - work - by moutz (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I used a public bathroom. I hung my purse up on the hook on the door. Two minutes later, a hand reaches over the door and steals my purse. I got robbed while taking a crap. FML

#3862614 (180)

I agree, your life sucks (39573) - you deserved it (5479)

On 07/18/2009 at 6:32pm - misc - by xobeachbabi428ox - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I asked my boyfriend if he'd still like me if I shaved my head. He told me it wouldn't matter to him, and I called him a liar. Then he said, "Well my mom died of cancer six months ago, so I'm sort of used to it." FML

#3854624 (187)

I agree, your life sucks (10162) - you deserved it (61810)

On 07/18/2009 at 10:55am - misc - by Lars (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML

#3849129 (87)

I agree, your life sucks (10429) - you deserved it (33538)

On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)

Today, I took my daughter to the lake. She told me she had to go to the bathroom and I whispered to her "just pee in the lake, it's fine, but go in a little deeper." She went in the lake and turned to me to yell "MOM, IS THIS DEEP ENOUGH FOR ME TO PEE?" FML

#3804490 (135)

I agree, your life sucks (8339) - you deserved it (40870)

On 07/16/2009 at 3:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my parents are freaking at me because I just got my report and I failed my first year of college. They told me they have never been more disappointed in me. I have to tell them that I'm also pregnant. FML

#3800582 (362)

I agree, your life sucks (16368) - you deserved it (64527)

On 07/16/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by failure - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I was on webcam with my boyfriend. A while later I forgot about it and started digging my nose vigorously. He then beeped me and said "Digging for gold, dear? " FML

#3799208 (105)

I agree, your life sucks (7058) - you deserved it (39249)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:09am - misc - by carmelita (woman) - Singapore

Today, we went up for visitor's day for my son's Jewish summer camp. We don't keep kosher, but most of his fellow campers do. When we went around in the circle saying our favorite foods, he said, "my mom makes the best pork chops." We got dirty looks for the rest of the day. FML

#3799084 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (30436) - you deserved it (8918)

On 07/16/2009 at 11:02am - kids - by porkeater (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at the grocery with my 4 year old daughter. She needed me to tie one of her shoes so I bent down. When I was done, I tickled her under the armpit and she screamed "Don't touch me there!". Everyone in the store turned to stare. FML

#3782569 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (36941) - you deserved it (4719)

On 07/15/2009 at 7:22pm - kids - by shway (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, a fax came in at work for a specific job, and I asked the owner of the company who it was for. He replied "the round one", so I handed it to our rotund Project Manager. Apparently the owner meant the garbage can, not my fat co-worker. Now i'm the asshole of the office. FML

#3774043 (79)

I agree, your life sucks (13517) - you deserved it (27177)

On 07/15/2009 at 1:24pm - work - by kjcarey123 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in the gas station and I saw this creepy lady staring at me and smiling. She just didn't stop. I even gave an awkward wave to let her know that I saw her staring at me. Finally I decided to confront the woman, turns out the overly happy woman was a cardboard cut out FML

#3763600 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (9044) - you deserved it (44333)

On 07/15/2009 at 12:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while at my boyfriend's house waiting for him to shower, his mother slams a pair of underwear on the table and tells me that if she ever finds something like that in her son's room again, she is forbidding him from seeing me. The underwear isn't mine. FML

#3756487 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (43688) - you deserved it (1340)

On 07/14/2009 at 8:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my drunk boyfriend told me he thought of new positions for us to try in bed because it was getting boring. We haven't had sex yet. FML

#3752629 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (46220) - you deserved it (4466)

On 07/14/2009 at 6:13pm - intimacy - by bellaboop1990 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my crush came over and we began to fool around. He started to kiss my stomach, and just when I was getting into it, he pulled away with a disgusted look on his face, wiped his mouth, and said, "We'll continue this when you get rid of all your bellybutton lint." FML

#3740095 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (15034) - you deserved it (43036)

On 07/14/2009 at 5:41am - intimacy - by unlucky_number13 (woman) - United States (California)