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1990TD's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 11/09/2010 at 8:31pm / United States (Texas) / Animals
by secretdoll / 11/09/2010 at 2:51am / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I found my favorite stuffed animal I had as a child in the trash bin. I took it out to find that it felt wet and smelt funny. Apparently, my younger brother cut a hole in the butt of it and used it to masturbate. FML
by Anonymous / 09/21/2010 at 6:07pm / United States / Intimacy
Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML
by Anonymous / 09/17/2010 at 2:57am / Australia (Queensland) / Intimacy
Today, I was woken up because the police were pounding on my door, and saying I am under arrest for stealing road signs. My friends went drinking last night and thought it would be funny to steal seven stop signs, four bus stop signs, and two children crossing signs then plant them on my front lawn. FML
by Busted / 07/26/2010 at 8:26am / South Africa / Miscellaneous
by tstaeger / 07/24/2010 at 1:20am / United States (Oregon) / Health
by reckless / 07/17/2010 at 3:34pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
by ShayisPay101 / 02/15/2010 at 1:58pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was saying goodbye to my 5 year old son before dropping him at my mom's, as I was leaving for two days, and told him I would miss him. He says "l won't miss you, I never miss you when you are gone." FML
by mandiballz / 01/12/2010 at 1:46am / United States (California) / Kids
by Leslie / 12/30/2009 at 2:03am / United States (Colorado) / Love
by Anonymous / 12/29/2009 at 1:52pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by Grounded / 12/29/2009 at 1:50pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML
by lovehurts / 12/28/2009 at 3:41pm / United States (Michigan) / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…