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Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!
Today, as my boyfriend and I were getting hot in the bedroom, he stopped right before he entered me and said, "Knock knock!" He refused to continue until I replied, "Come in." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18196) - you deserved it (2818)
On 09/29/2012 at 9:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14469) - you deserved it (2969)
On 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21781) - you deserved it (1137)
On 09/04/2012 at 1:14pm - misc - by Becoming a commuter. (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally decided to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. Surprisingly, he and my father already knew each other, so I asked him how they met. Now I know where my boyfriend gets all his weed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20015) - you deserved it (2370)
On 09/04/2012 at 9:51am - misc - by UnknownOperation (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after waking up, I went into the kitchen and took a swig of milk from the carton. I overestimated my strength, and the whole thing splashed all over my face. A few moments later, my dad staggered in, looked at me in disgust, and said, "You know what? I don't even wanna know." FML
I agree, your life sucks (12946) - you deserved it (8537)
On 08/03/2012 at 3:28pm - misc - by squeltorey (man) - United States (California)
Today, I tried to explain to my daughter why she couldn’t have a sleepover with her boyfriend yet. She said, "If you're so worried about me having sex, then you failed as a father because I've already banged four guys." FML
I agree, your life sucks (45737) - you deserved it (7547)
On 08/01/2012 at 12:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada
Today, my parents think it's so hot outside that it's okay for them to work in the garden naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23447) - you deserved it (1482)
On 05/28/2012 at 6:15am - misc - by Ladieda (woman) - Netherlands (Gelderland)
Today, I was jumped and savagely beaten to the ground by a group of six-year-olds wearing Disney princess masks. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15563) - you deserved it (4092)
On 05/18/2012 at 10:13am - kids - by 23yearoldtoddler - United States
Today, I went on a picnic with my boyfriend's family. I thought it would be nice to wear my sundress and cowgirl boots. The wind repeatedly picked up my dress in front of everyone, including my boyfriend's seedy grandpa, who I have to admit can do a pretty good wolf-whistle. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14991) - you deserved it (5483)
On 05/02/2012 at 2:34pm - misc - by EyeSeeYou (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I was visiting my 8-year-old nephew. He told me he learned about fire safety, so I asked him what he'd do if there were a fire right now. He pushed me out of the way and I fell, then he ran over me and out the front door, leaving me on the floor in pain. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13702) - you deserved it (2633)
On 04/30/2012 at 8:22pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, after putting an ad on Craigslist to sell a coat, I finally got a call. The guy on the phone seemed interested, and was especially curious to know if I could "model" it for him, in "stockings and suspenders." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16754) - you deserved it (2327)
On 04/30/2012 at 11:50am - intimacy - by NotAModel (woman) - United States
Today, I was watching a boys volleyball team warming up, and I had my eye on one of them who was quite attractive. He sent the ball a little too far and it hit me in the face. He apologized, and I then for some reason replied with, "It's fine, I like balls in my face." FML
I agree, your life sucks (14239) - you deserved it (24855)
On 04/15/2012 at 9:13pm - intimacy - by lifeonfire12 (woman) - Canada
Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5049) - you deserved it (22850)
On 03/12/2012 at 10:55am - misc - by gengiskarn69 (man) - United States
Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
I agree, your life sucks (30508) - you deserved it (4750)
On 03/10/2012 at 9:20am - love - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)
Today, I was humming the Star Wars theme song while on the bus. When my stop came I walked down the aisle only to hear a girl mutter, "The virginity is strong in this one." She's right. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17549) - you deserved it (16365)
On 03/10/2012 at 1:50am - misc - by starboy - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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