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0___0's favorite FMLs
by Sal / 03/03/2009 at 1:29pm / United States (Michigan) / Intimacy
Today, my roommate and I finally got fed up with this increasingly, horrible stench that has been in our apartment for a few days now. Leaving it for our other roommates to handle, we selfishly left to get yogurtland. Moments later, we both expressed that we haven't seen our cat in a while. FML
by pacificbeach / 03/02/2009 at 4:32pm / United States (California) / Animals
Today, I was walking through Borders with my girlfriend, when we pass a girl scout cookies stand. I see a box of Samoas, my favorite, point at them, and shout, 'YEAH'. My girlfriend looks shocked. Behind the box of cookies was a five year old scout bending over, with her bottom pointed at me. FML
by Scottrick / 03/01/2009 at 12:55pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, I met a guy at a bar and we went back to my room. We start having sex and about 30 seconds in he stops and says it's not right - he likes me too much for a one night stand. He gives me his number, a kiss on the cheek and leaves. Turns out he already came. I call his phone - wrong number. FML
by jsw029 / 02/25/2009 at 11:51pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy
Today, I got a "save the date" card for the wedding of a couple my husband knows. I was excited because I really wish to be better friends with these people. I emailed the bride, "I got your STD!" and hit send before I realized how that sounded. FML
by silkytaco / 02/17/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (Hawaii) / Geek
Today, I finally broke my two year dry spell, but as she was putting on the condom, I came. She laughed from the time she was putting on her clothes to when she walked out the door. I don't think she's going to call back. FML
by theguy24 / 01/27/2009 at 7:47am / United States (Nebraska) / Intimacy
by mocass’1 / 10/13/2008 at 4:19am / France / Love
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, it's been 2 weeks since I ordered a printer so I could print schoolwork, that way I don't…
- Today, I went into the women's bathroom and was warmly greeted by a man masturbating on one of the… Today, my boyfriend and I were talking on the phone, and things got a little heated. We were in the… Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I…