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0___0
  • Town/Country : California
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 25298
  • Number of comments : 285
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 8 posted

About 0___0 : This user has filled out a description! Just kidding, she's a lazy girl and wont fill it out.

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0___0's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to get an ultrasound of my reproductive system done because I was having some abdominal pain. Everything was fine until the tech suddenly gasped and said, "Oh my God! You have two uteruses! Want me to print off a picture so you can show them off to your friends?" FML

#14898622
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31412) - you deserved it (2998)

On 02/08/2011 at 6:29pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my friend commented on my short skirt and, thinking she was being funny, tried to pull it down. I quickly moved away, causing it to come off in her hands. My shocked scream attracted the attention of at least a dozen bystanders. FML

#14395971
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15384) - you deserved it (5256)

On 12/30/2010 at 1:21pm - misc - by glam300 - United Kingdom

Today, I was playing hide and seek with a few friends. I hid in the bathroom, under the sink in a cabinet. I ended up having to sit there quiet as a mouse while my grandfather took an incredibly long and vile dump. I was too afraid to move. Let's just say he didn't rush it. FML

#14272041
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29147) - you deserved it (8243)

On 12/20/2010 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was rushed to the hospital to deliver my child. On the way, I called my husband who was in a bar with his friends. Drunk, he just yelled, "BROS BEFORE HOS!!" and hung up. FML

#13318955
323 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65707) - you deserved it (7415)

On 10/04/2010 at 5:42pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I discovered that I have developed a latex allergy. I'm a third year medical student. FML

#12820970
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (2389)

On 08/30/2010 at 12:18pm - misc - by Sally19863 - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, I was eating at a restaurant patio with a few friends. After the waitress cleaned up our table there was a drop of mayonnaise on the table. I wiped it with my finger and licked it. It wasn’t mayo, it was bird shit. FML

#1712833
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28724) - you deserved it (130280)

On 05/07/2009 at 7:36am - animals - by MJ3105 (man) - Israel

Today, my 6 year old daughter asked me, "what would happen to me if you and daddy died?". I told her that she'd probably live with her Uncle Ant and Aunt Ilene. She looked at me and said "You guys can die. I won't cry. I get everything I want over there." FML

#1551610
229 comments

I agree, your life sucks (85269) - you deserved it (8273)

On 05/02/2009 at 4:12am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had my first job interview and didn't have much of an appetite because of the nerves. So I grabbed a brownie that my roommate had left in the fridge and ate it on the train ride in to the city. About 20 minutes into my interview I was so stoned I couldn't speak. FML

#1550190
356 comments

I agree, your life sucks (161959) - you deserved it (39910)

On 05/02/2009 at 2:28am - work - by Dunzo15 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20757) - you deserved it (56695)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was washing the dishes, I felt what I thought was a mosquito on my leg. I kicked at it with my foot only to realize that I had just kicked my adopted puppy in the face. Now, whenever I come into a room, he runs to the corner and pees. FML

#1286671
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21194) - you deserved it (66933)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, my friend and I were seeing a movie. We ended up sitting next to a man who was continually laughing, clapping, and bouncing up and down on his seat. Extremely annoyed, we turned to him and told him to "shut the fuck up". Turns out he had downs syndrome and ran out of the theater crying. FML

#1010714
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23376) - you deserved it (132243)

On 04/16/2009 at 1:08am - misc - by katem (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I took the bus to work. A sweet old lady got on after and sat next to me. Halfway there, she fell asleep, her head on my shoulder. I gently tried to wake her up before my stop. She wasn't sleeping. I let a dead woman lie on me for 30 minutes. FML

#960425
663 comments

I agree, your life sucks (655492) - you deserved it (48799)

On 04/13/2009 at 10:11pm - health - by meteorbabe0101 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was working as a manager of the local movie theater. This six year old came in with no parents or anyone else. When I asked him where his parents were he looked at me and said, "Shut up white boy, I don't have to listen to your shit." I just got told by a six year old. FML

#958764
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56422) - you deserved it (6414)

On 04/13/2009 at 8:44pm - work - by brad3720 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML

#946704
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (140375) - you deserved it (20538)

On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)



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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

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