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Up and coming moderator
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Judgmental
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
Socialite
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Today, I got a Facebook message from the school genius/nerd, who I have never talked to. He politely informed me that after much thought and deliberation, he has narrowed it down to who his ideal mate is. Me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (5984)
On 01/15/2012 at 10:30pm - love - by geeklove - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25064) - you deserved it (4430)
On 01/09/2012 at 1:14am - love - by Whyme (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my girlfriend yelled at me for breathing too much. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you deserved it (4373)
On 12/23/2011 at 3:43am - misc - by cj123 - United States (Arizona)
Today, we were going around the table, telling everyone what we were thankful for. My girlfriend said she was thankful for her vibrator, because I can't please her like it can. My family thought this was funny. FML
I agree, your life sucks (30594) - you deserved it (6439)
On 11/25/2011 at 12:20pm - intimacy - by notgoodenough - United States (Ohio)
Today, I realized that trying to fit in with my crush's social circle by acting like one of the lads was a waste of time. All he does is high-five me all the time and tell me every little detail of his latest one night stands. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10812) - you deserved it (15792)
On 10/27/2011 at 3:54pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Denmark (Nordjylland)
Today, my dad walked in on me and my girlfriend having sex. His only reaction was to mutter, "Put some back into it, son." before awkwardly sidling out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25474) - you deserved it (5964)
On 10/27/2011 at 8:22am - intimacy - by ifeeldirty (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my parents got rid of our detachable shower head. Looks like I'm single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21901) - you deserved it (23025)
Today, I was walking down the street when a police officer started walking behind me with his dog. I sped up and tried to cross the road. He took this as suspicious and got the dog to take me to the floor. I've been afraid of dogs since I was 5. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27264) - you deserved it (2993)
On 09/09/2011 at 5:59am - animals - by D (man) - United Kingdom
Today, it was my first day on the job as a first grade teacher. One student pushed another, so I asked him to apologize. His response? "If you boss me around, I'll tell Daddy you touched me somewhere you shouldn't have." I think I'm now this kid's slave. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28200) - you deserved it (2455)
On 08/29/2011 at 7:59pm - kids - by slavelaborsux (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Today, two Jehovah's Witnesses rang my doorbell for the 10th time. This time they asked me whether I knew Faith's greatest enemy. I replied, "Basic reasoning?" A copy of The Watchtower can really hurt when it hits you in the eye. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29412) - you deserved it (8636)
On 08/14/2011 at 7:20am - misc - by Goaway - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my mom decided to take away my TV after noticing that I watch the show True Blood. Apparently, since I watch this, I must be "curious about sex." I'm 19. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32716) - you deserved it (4353)
On 07/28/2011 at 5:11am - intimacy - by Shelbitchh - United States
Today, I peeked through my window and trained a pair of binoculars on my neighbour's house. Every night without fail, he ends up standing in front of his window topless to flex his muscles. This time, I was surprised to instead find a note taped to the window saying, "Sorry, I'm out tonight." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8449) - you deserved it (57541) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 07/08/2011 at 8:11pm - love - by Anonyme - Sent from mobile version
Today, my extremely in-shape boyfriend told me he hasn't had a chance to work out lately. I jokingly poked him in the belly saying he's getting chunky and winked. He burst into tears. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19637) - you deserved it (31259)
On 06/26/2011 at 9:08pm - health - by kaplwv116 - United States (Illinois)
Today, at my job as a lifeguard, the kids in the pool decided to start a new game. The game involved spreading out to different parts of the pool and pretending to be drowning at the same time. Whoever was "saved" first, won. FML
I agree, your life sucks (37915) - you deserved it (2538)
On 06/04/2011 at 2:15am - work - by zain - United States (Texas)
Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29223) - you deserved it (3368)
On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)
Monday 17 June 2013
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