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0RedPenguin0

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0RedPenguin0

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2106
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 0RedPenguin0 : I looove music. I listen to alternative, big band, bluegrass, blues, classical, folk, metal, post rock, punk, rap, and rock, and my favorite artists include Jack White, Jherek Bischoff, Modest Mouse, Led Zeppelin, and Ben Folds. I play lacrosse, chess, and guitar, and am working towards a career in audio engineering. If you message me, I will never get it; I still haven't once logged in on anything other than my iPhone.

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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0RedPenguin0's favorite FMLs

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40217) - you deserved it (12392)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was babysitting this 12 year old. We were watching a movie, and he was being an angel just laying with his head in my lap. He fell asleep so I closed my eyes and had a little nap. When I woke up he had taken my shirt off and was feeling up my boobs. FML

#19343662
363 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40217) - you deserved it (12392)

On 03/25/2012 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was on a train when we hit and killed a person. We were stalled for 4 hours. The guy sitting next to me asked what I did for a living, so I told him that I'm a vet tech. Then he showed me his infected elbow. FML

#17620376
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26816) - you deserved it (3457)

On 08/30/2011 at 10:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my grandpa told me what he'd do if he was president. I sat there for 30 minutes listening to how he'd get rid of prisons, send all the prisoners to a desert for 5 years and give them a gun to fight over. And then he'd surgically attach child molesters' penises to their foreheads. FML

#17556947
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31143) - you deserved it (5788)

On 08/23/2011 at 10:46am - intimacy - by Andrew (man) - United States

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10381) - you deserved it (24211)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, the closest I came to doing something that could be vaguely construed as "constructive" was wanking and crying. Sometimes simultaneously. FML

#17361145
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10381) - you deserved it (24211)

On 08/03/2011 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, water turned to wine. That is, my brother put wine in my hamster's water bottle. Very bad idea. FML

#8873623
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22325) - you deserved it (2228)

On 03/06/2010 at 5:44pm - misc - by Lucy (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boss made me wear reindeer antlers to promote the Christmas spirit. There are still 5 weeks till Christmas. FML

#6323908
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23767) - you deserved it (3481)

On 11/16/2009 at 5:40am - work - by bakergirl (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found a dead puppy in my backyard. I have never owned any pets. FML

#5966909
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37649) - you deserved it (2092)

On 10/23/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by WhyMe (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a little girl at my work had an accident. She asked me to help her change, and as she was changing she stuck her hand in her vagina to make sure all the "peepee was gone". She then put that same hand on my face to balance herself as she finished changing. FML

#1949482
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57325) - you deserved it (3423)

On 05/14/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by thisreallyhappened (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105942) - you deserved it (8234)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, my daughter walked in on me taking a shower. She said, "Hey, yours is the same size as Dylan's!" My daughter has seen Dylan's penis, which apparently is the same size as mine. My daughter and Dylan are 7. FML

#1409707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (105942) - you deserved it (8234)

On 04/27/2009 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by seriouslywtf (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the real estate guy came with potential buyers to visit my house. He opened my bedroom while I was wanking. FML

#22
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50143) - you deserved it (36929)

On 10/13/2008 at 4:31am - intimacy - by rmL -



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