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0RedPenguin0

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0RedPenguin0
  • Town/Country : The beautiful, ugly, and mid-large-sized USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1488
  • Number of comments : 84
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About 0RedPenguin0 : I looove music. I listen to alternative, big band, bluegrass, blues, classical, folk, metal, post rock, punk, rap, and rock, and my favorite artists include Jack White, Jherek Bischoff, Modest Mouse, Led Zeppelin, and Ben Folds. I play lacrosse, chess, and guitar, and am working towards a career in audio engineering. If you message me, I will never get it; I still haven't once logged in on anything other than my iPhone.

0RedPenguin0's last visitors

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0RedPenguin0's FML badges

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

Judgmental

You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of 0RedPenguin0's badges

0RedPenguin0's favorite FMLs

Today, I was digging in my lawn, trying to ignore the suspicious glances coming from my nosy fuckball of a neighbor. When he asked what I was doing, I replied with dripping sarcasm, that I was digging up the schoolkids I killed last year. Fifteen minutes later, the cops he called arrived. FML

#20015702
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26640) - you deserved it (7723)

On 08/11/2012 at 7:47pm - misc - by diggingaplotforone - United States (California)

Today, I finished my first two weeks as an ice cream truck driver. Now I can't get that annoying ice cream truck music out of my head. It's even in my dreams. FML

#20013286
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16954) - you deserved it (2763)

On 08/10/2012 at 9:58am - work - by ice cream dude - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was driving down a dark country road with the windows down. Suddenly, a giant barn owl flew through my side-window and smacked into my head, causing me to drive into a ditch. FML

#20008924
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21719) - you deserved it (2120)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:59am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend and I were discussing music bands, and I asked who her favorite Queen member is. She looked at me like I was from another world and said, "I don't have a favorite British queen. That's like, so weird." FML

#20002229
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16546) - you deserved it (2069)

On 08/04/2012 at 1:15pm - misc - by fuckingbeliebers (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
301 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58980) - you deserved it (4705)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, I sneezed my jaw out of socket. Yes, this is possible. FML

#19899616
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27218) - you deserved it (1735)

On 07/06/2012 at 11:03am - misc - by hotpatata - United States

Today, my grandmother threatened to kill herself with a banana. She then got angry with me when I didn't attempt to get the banana away from her. My mom punished me because I didn't take the situation seriously enough. FML

#19806269
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26808) - you deserved it (2701)

On 06/18/2012 at 7:38am - misc - by DwarfFrog - United States

Today, my parents grounded me for finding their stash of weed. The irony is killing me right now. FML

#19719129
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32405) - you deserved it (2356)

On 06/02/2012 at 1:43am - misc - by ironyisabitch - United States (California)

Today, I spilled loose face powder on myself while applying my make-up. My sister subsequently walked in on me vacuuming my crotch. FML

#19709039
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you deserved it (3651)

On 05/31/2012 at 9:43am - misc - by anon (woman) - United Kingdom (Dorset)

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

#19707961
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30075) - you deserved it (4129)

On 05/31/2012 at 1:28am - misc - by gonavybeatarmy - United States (California)

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27548) - you deserved it (6902)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after a surprise candlelit dinner and a two bottles of wine for my birthday, my boyfriend and I decided to take a sexy shower together. It ended with us both drunk, naked, and crying, wedged into a small tub together, talking about our dead pets. FML

#19702897
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27548) - you deserved it (6902)

On 05/30/2012 at 1:46am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I had a babysitting job. When I got there, the parents were rushing out the door and told me they'd left instructions for the kids on the table. The first bullet point stated that the oldest was convinced she is possessed by the devil, but just to ignore it. Three more hours to go. FML

#19701580
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19791) - you deserved it (1057)

On 05/29/2012 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my car broke down and had to be towed to the dealership. Normally, this would be just unlucky but I work with kids and we had been fundraising for charity. I am now sitting at the dealership with my hair coloured purple, red and blue and in ridiculously high pigtails while people stare. FML

#19687715
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16811) - you deserved it (1964)

On 05/27/2012 at 9:20am - work - by straightlyconfused - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my 20-year-old son's external hard-drive stopped working. He's crying on my shoulder now, not because of the movies, porn, work, or music he probably lost, but because of the now irretrievable complete series of Digimon that he'd collected. FML

#19629941
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17643) - you deserved it (3416)

On 05/15/2012 at 11:05pm - misc - by OytoBeAfather (man) - United States (New York)



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