About 0RedPenguin0 : I looove music. I listen to alternative, big band, bluegrass, blues, classical, folk, metal, post rock, punk, rap, and rock, and my favorite artists include Jack White, Jherek Bischoff, Modest Mouse, Led Zeppelin, and Ben Folds. I play lacrosse, chess, and guitar, and am working towards a career in audio engineering. If you message me, I will never get it; I still haven't once logged in on anything other than my iPhone.
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Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
0RedPenguin0's favorite FMLs
by daughter / 09/18/2012 at 12:25am / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/14/2012 at 1:28am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my grandpa was visiting. My neighbors started blasting out rap music, as they've done nearly 24/7 for months, telling me to fuck off when I complain. He went over and screamed he'd gut them like fish if they didn't pipe down. They did. He's 68 and still more intimidating than me. FML
by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 6:59pm / Australia (Queensland) / Work
by Anonymous / 09/07/2012 at 1:08am / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
Today, I moved into college and met my new roommate. Not fifteen minutes later, she had told me about the fungus on her feet, and what happens when she forgets to take her anti-psychotic medication, all while picking at her nose and eating the spoils. FML
by Becoming a commuter. / 09/04/2012 at 1:14pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
by frustrated / 09/03/2012 at 4:20pm / United Kingdom (Hampshire) / Health
Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML
by WhyAppleWhy / 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by yonanon / 08/31/2012 at 8:02am / United States (Virginia) / Love
by Holly / 08/29/2012 at 12:59am / United States (Colorado) / Health
Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML
by Anonymous / 08/26/2012 at 7:39pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that my crush didn't remember calling me beautiful, telling me he liked me, or any of the other romantic things he said to me while drunk last night. He did however remember me promising to bake him cookies. FML
by coolcocoxxx / 08/25/2012 at 2:53am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
by chunkymonkey / 08/24/2012 at 9:53am / United States / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 08/19/2012 at 1:51am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
Today, the air bag system in my car somehow malfunctioned, and the air bag inflated while I was driving, causing me to lose control and crash into a street light. I ended up with a badly bruised face because the air bag had already deflated by then. FML
by stupid_airbag / 08/13/2012 at 4:06am / Australia / Health
Today, I walked in on my fifteen-year-old son and his friends attempting to set up a rudimentary meth lab in his bedroom. I'm not sure whether to be angrier that they simply tried this, or that they thought burning up baking soda would somehow produce methamphetamine. FML
by JAdams / 08/12/2012 at 8:49pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Kids
- Today, my boyfriend gave me a hickey on my breast. To be fair I decided to give him a hickey on his… Today, I did the "walk of shame" sixteen blocks. It wouldn't have been so bad if the sidewalks and… Today, my roommates decided to hold an intervention. They told me I would have to break up with my…