About 0RedPenguin0 : I looove music. I listen to alternative, big band, bluegrass, blues, classical, folk, metal, post rock, punk, rap, and rock, and my favorite artists include Jack White, Jherek Bischoff, Modest Mouse, Led Zeppelin, and Ben Folds. I play lacrosse, chess, and guitar, and am working towards a career in audio engineering. If you message me, I will never get it; I still haven't once logged in on anything other than my iPhone.
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0RedPenguin0's favorite FMLs
by Darla / 10/05/2012 at 4:14am / United States (California) / Health
by Anonymous / 10/05/2012 at 1:49am / United States / Work
by Anonymous / 10/04/2012 at 10:45pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
Today, it was my uncle's funeral. I wasn't very close with him, but I still wanted to be respectful. My boyfriend, being the jackass that he is, was singing the Spider Pig song from The Simpsons under his breath while making his fingers walk up my leg, trying to get under my skirt. FML
by SorryUncleTommy / 10/01/2012 at 12:23am / United States (New York) / Love
by Anonymous / 09/30/2012 at 7:02pm / United States (New York) / Intimacy
by iNearlyHurled / 09/28/2012 at 4:24am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I was so happy to be leaving the hospital after breaking my arm the night before. Just as I walked out of the doors, a huge ambulance team was running in at the same time and knocked me down full force. I now have a broken ankle. FML
by red_headforlife / 09/28/2012 at 1:34am / United States (Arizona) / Health
by thatwas10yearsago / 09/27/2012 at 10:41pm / United States (Virginia) / Love
Today, my ex dropped by to pick up a piece of art he'd left when I threw him out a month ago. While here, he visited the restroom. Tonight, my shampoo smelled like urine. And he called at 11pm to say he'd ''rubbed one out'' on my new boyfriend's toothbrush. FML
by red / 09/27/2012 at 7:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was excited to get my first writing assignment since starting law school. I found out that I have to write a paper defending free speech. This wouldn't be a problem if I didn't have to defend the Westboro Baptist Church and if I weren't a former Marine. FML
by LawStudent / 09/19/2012 at 10:54am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by he is going to hell / 09/18/2012 at 5:46pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
Today, I decided to look for the horrid stench coming from my bathroom. It turns out my roommate has been throwing away her used tampons in the "trashcan by the sink." That "trashcan" is my old antique vase. FML
by raesos91 / 09/18/2012 at 7:56am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous
by thanksfamily / 09/18/2012 at 7:22am / United States (Maryland) / Love
Today, I received the heels I'll be wearing at my best friend's wedding. The bride ordered them for us to match the dresses. They're six-inch platform heels. I have three broken toes and am still wearing a boot. The wedding is next weekend. FML
by AnnieThrax / 09/18/2012 at 12:35am / United States (Minnesota) / Health
- Today, I sent my romantic interest a sexy text about a dream I had about a "sex gameshow." I sent… Today, I got an allergic reaction to Nair. It was so bad I had to have my girlfriend take me to the… Today, I texted my ex boyfriend that I still loved him. He texted back asking if this was some sort…
- Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, a car almost hit me. Since I wasn’t hurt, the driver chased me with a baseball bat to finish… Today, I went to the Eiffel Tower with my boyfriend. We’d been talking about getting married for a…