About 0RedPenguin0 : I looove music. I listen to alternative, big band, bluegrass, blues, classical, folk, metal, post rock, punk, rap, and rock, and my favorite artists include Jack White, Jherek Bischoff, Modest Mouse, Led Zeppelin, and Ben Folds. I play lacrosse, chess, and guitar, and am working towards a career in audio engineering. If you message me, I will never get it; I still haven't once logged in on anything other than my iPhone.
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Why am I up so early?
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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!
0RedPenguin0's favorite FMLs
by whateven / 01/08/2013 at 12:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work
by legitweirdo / 01/07/2013 at 11:16pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend and I were having Christmas dinner while his mom was away. I was lying alone on his bed while he did the dishes, when the bedroom door dramatically swung open and his mom glared at me from the doorway. I had to leave when she screamed "FORNICATION IS A SIN!" FML
by un_christmas / 12/25/2012 at 1:41am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Love
by ehrmagahd / 12/19/2012 at 12:17am / United States (Texas) / Work
Today, I have a very uncomfortable cyst in my armpit and a sprained ankle both on my right side, resulting in me limping and keeping my arm awkwardly plastered to my side. My fiancé keeps walking like me and calling me Igor, saying "Yes, Master" whenever I ask him for something. FML
by Igor / 12/19/2012 at 12:16am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Health
Today, I had plans for a romantic night with my boyfriend, who is perfect in every way possible. We were going to have sex for the first time as well. Unfortunately, I had a dream last night about him shitting all over me and I can't look at him with a straight face. FML
by Anonymous / 12/17/2012 at 3:17am / United States / Intimacy
Today, my car window got smashed in. The cop that came to take the report said they'd already caught the guy doing it, he'd smashed in several other car windows, all of the exact same model and color. His reason for doing it was simple: he was drunk and "hated red Jeeps". FML
by Cold / 12/17/2012 at 12:08am / United States (Virginia) / Transportation
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 7:58pm / United States / Love
by Anonymous / 12/16/2012 at 6:02pm / Ireland (Waterford) / Intimacy
by ToughTitties / 12/14/2012 at 8:45am / United Kingdom (Essex) / Intimacy
by MiscHats / 12/14/2012 at 7:28am / Australia (Victoria) / Transportation
Today, I went on a date with a great girl; we went out to dinner and saw a movie. After the movie, we went out to my car to find out that a homeless man had broken the window, climbed into it, and was eating the leftover pasta with his fingers. FML
by Alec / 12/10/2012 at 2:01am / United States / Transportation
Today, "The Phantom of the Opera" soundtrack blasted me awake at 4 am. Not knowing how it got on my iPod, I checked and found I had bought the whole $17.00 album in my sleep. This is the second time this month; the first time I downloaded the soundtrack from "The Wizard of Oz". FML
by hailey / 12/10/2012 at 12:10am / United States (Maryland) / Money
Today, I sent in an assignment from my batshit insane teacher. The assignment was to read a poem, analyze it, and make a comic of its plot. This would've been fine if the teacher who assigned it to me didn't teach math. FML
by bestnameright / 12/09/2012 at 10:53pm / United States (District of Columbia) / Work
Today, my best friend announced she was getting married. I've always wanted to be a bridesmaid but she then added, "You can't be in the bridal party because you don't have the same body type as the other bridesmaids. But you can still come to the bachelorette party!" FML
by SBCR / 12/07/2012 at 1:01am / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, I took a test. I got up to turn it in, and accidentally bumped into another student. We both… 2Today, I tried to fire the worst worker I've ever had over the phone because he never shows up for… 3Today, a week after dropping my car off for the third time in a month at the dealership because of…