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50 favourites
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Today, I realized I might lose my job because some asshole customer complained about me to my district manager. His complaint? Girls can't work at video game stores. My DM agreed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22951) - you deserved it (1594)
On 10/02/2012 at 9:11am - work - by GamerTag (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was sitting in the park with my new dog; I got her from the pound last week. We were enjoying the sun when I noticed that every time a black person walked past, she'd bark like crazy. Great, my dog is a racist. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19379) - you deserved it (2125)
On 10/02/2012 at 3:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, while working security at a welfare office, I had to listen as a claimant gushed about her upcoming Caribbean cruise. I work two jobs and haven't had a vacation since 2006. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17440) - you deserved it (1075)
On 09/28/2012 at 1:40pm - work - by getajob (man) - United States (Indiana)
Today, my mom decided the time was right to give me the sex talk. Towards the end, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom. As I came back, I overheard my dad telling my mom that I'm so unpopular, the only time I'll get laid is when I'm being put in a coffin. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25971) - you deserved it (1611)
On 09/27/2012 at 4:14pm - intimacy - by linn (woman) - United States
Today, I discovered that when my professor had said "For every A there will be an F," he was deadly serious. I earned a 94% mark, which in this class is known as a D. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18910) - you deserved it (1188)
On 05/26/2012 at 3:34pm - misc - by dany - United States (Ohio)
Today, at work, my friend dared me to answer the next call on my phone by saying, "This is your local sperm bank. You jack it, we pack it." I did it. The person on the phone was my boss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7626) - you deserved it (28327)
On 05/26/2012 at 10:42am - intimacy - by girly girly - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up after a long night of drinking with my friends. I vaguely remembered visiting a tattoo parlour, but nothing prepared me for the sight of the words "YOLO" and "MOFO" tattooed across the fingers of my left and right hands. Now I'm officially a bandwagoning douchebag. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6278) - you deserved it (23126)
On 05/16/2012 at 5:56pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
I agree, your life sucks (36982) - you deserved it (3015)
On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)
Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him, saying that the only thing he would change about me is my last name. I later told him that I wanted to keep my last name after the marriage. I'm now single again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15796) - you deserved it (26163)
On 05/14/2012 at 9:09pm - love - by singleagain (woman) - United States
Today, it's my birthday. All I wanted was birthday sex, but all my boyfriend could talk about was how great the new purse he got me was. I think he might like it more than me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18163) - you deserved it (3411)
On 05/13/2012 at 8:25pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to announce to the class that I finally got a girlfriend. I received a standing ovation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19115) - you deserved it (3107)
On 05/10/2012 at 7:48am - love - by JG (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out who my randomly assigned roommate was. Out of 10,000+ people, I just happen to get assigned a girl who threatened to kill me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18556) - you deserved it (1141)
On 05/09/2012 at 7:26pm - misc - by roomingwithevil - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23862) - you deserved it (3472)
On 05/07/2012 at 5:51am - misc - by N (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)
Today, I was at the supermarket when I saw an elderly lady slip on a wet patch of floor. I ran over to help, and I almost fell too before steadying myself. Then some pimply cockmunch of a teen decided to kick my legs out from under me and walk away while laughing his balls off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19528) - you deserved it (1590)
On 05/01/2012 at 12:17pm - health - by karmafails (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)
Today, my parents went out of town and I was home all alone. I put up party decorations such as streamers, balloons and confetti. Then, I drank out of red cups, crushed them up and put them all over the house. I didn't have a party, I just wanted to convince my family that I'm not a loser. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18157) - you deserved it (12542)
On 04/24/2012 at 5:28pm - misc - by Jaclk - United States (Massachusetts)
Monday 20 May 2013
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