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Who’s the fairest of them all?
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I agree, their lives suck
200 votes confirming that their life is crap. It’s what the website is all about.
Today, my boyfriend sent me a text telling me to turn the radio on to a certain station. When I did, there was a talk show on, and the host was ranting about how important it is for women to control themselves and not be emotional. My boyfriend continued texting me, asking if I was listening. FML
I agree, your life sucks (46417) - you deserved it (12114)
On 04/03/2009 at 12:17am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was babysitting for a new family. While the father was telling me about bed times and how to reach him, their dog started humping my leg. As I tried to discreetly push the dog away, his paw got caught in the pocket of my huge sweatpants, pulling them down. I was wearing a thong. FML
I agree, your life sucks (56786) - you deserved it (8402)
On 04/02/2009 at 7:05pm - animals - by darlingditz (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML
I agree, your life sucks (199659) - you deserved it (58893)
On 04/02/2009 at 1:13am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, it's my 18th birthday. My parents got me a $5 gift certificate to iTunes. It came for free with the iPhone they just bought my sister for her middle school graduation. FML
I agree, your life sucks (481673) - you deserved it (24450)
On 03/24/2009 at 5:15pm - misc - by happybirthday (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I signed up for an online dating site. After completing their personality quiz, I set the distance to a 60 mile radius of where I live. Then to the country. Then to the whole world. I got no matches for any of the settings. FML
I agree, your life sucks (95195) - you deserved it (11339)
On 03/23/2009 at 4:38pm - love - by Rajin (man) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, my son said, "Mommy, sometimes my pee-pee goes up like a stick." I replied, "Well, honey, that's normal and okay." I then asked when it happens, to which he said, "Well, sometimes when watching Scooby Doo and Shaggy comes out dressed in lady clothes." FML
I agree, your life sucks (307820) - you deserved it (40986)
On 03/20/2009 at 12:15am - kids - by ScoobieDoo (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I texted my college boyfriend to tell him how terrible I felt about cheating. He replied saying he was so relieved because he had been cheating on me with a girl in his dorm. I was talking about my math exam. FML
I agree, your life sucks (438422) - you deserved it (71715)
On 03/16/2009 at 1:11pm - intimacy - by gentileman (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (527226) - you deserved it (319804)
On 03/15/2009 at 10:20pm - misc - by KAAALIS (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for another guy. She said she's looking for someone who can financially provide for her in the future. The dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical school. FML
I agree, your life sucks (401562) - you deserved it (22610)
On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML
I agree, your life sucks (462042) - you deserved it (573965)
On 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm - intimacy - by RC3Welly (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, at the dentist, I was getting my teeth cleaned. Looking up at his nose, I saw runny snot dripping onto his lip. I tried to slowly move away. He told me "Stop!" The movement of his lips caused the snot to fall right into my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (389780) - you deserved it (29781)
On 03/05/2009 at 2:44pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, an elderly gentleman walked into the UPS Store where I work asking to use the laminating machine. I explained to him that we keep it behind the counter and I would do it for him, whence he produced several graphic photos of him having it off with nasty looking women to be laminated. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44699) - you deserved it (3486)
On 03/05/2009 at 12:14am - work - by UhhhUhhhRRRick (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my boyfriend asked me what I enjoyed most about the weekend we'd spent together. I mention in detail a certain move he had pulled when we made love. When asked what he enjoyed most, he replies "putting my fish tank together". FML
I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (4388)
On 03/03/2009 at 12:55am - misc - by lucy (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I forgot to do my French homework, but since it was an online worksheet, I told my teacher my internet wasn't working. I told her with an e-mail. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53359) - you deserved it (586075)
On 02/28/2009 at 2:07pm - misc - by ihavepinkbackpac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my husband dropped me off at work. Ten minutes later I got a text saying "I just dropped the b*tch off I'll be there in a few baby, miss you". I asked him about it. He said, "I don't know what you're talking about, Megan". My name isn't Megan. Not even close. FML
I agree, your life sucks (991120) - you deserved it (78879)
On 02/28/2009 at 6:10am - love - by thatsucks (woman) - United Kingdom (Nottinghamshire)
Monday 20 May 2013
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