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By anonymous - 04/09/2015 04:40 - United States - North Hollywood

Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me. I got ahold of the girl he was cheating on me with. She was as oblivious as I was of each other's existence. Apparently, the fucker told her he lived with his "sister," who's "a bitch and makes his life impossible." He was referring to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 703

You deserved it 2 273

By JoeyTheJedi - 18/10/2016 00:31 - United States - Batesville

Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's been a death in the family, then abruptly hangs up. I speed home, to find my mother holding the tiny corpse of a fish that she got 2 weeks ago. I got fired for being late to work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 461

You deserved it 1 329

It's gettin' hott in here…

By Alan - 02/09/2015 20:13 - Germany

Today, I agreed to stay a week with my wife's parents, who she told me were traditional Japanese. I was prepared for having to wear Japanese clothes while in the house, but I wasn't prepared for communal bathing in the same huge bath with her father, grandfather, uncle and two brothers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 792

You deserved it 2 521

By Anonymous - 07/08/2017 05:00

Today, I traveled to my hometown for a funeral. I'm staying with my family in the house I grew up in. My dad told me they'd "completely renovated" the house. There's still only one bathroom for the seven of us and I'm sleeping on the floor for the entire two weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 184

You deserved it 430

By Anonymous - 29/08/2017 16:00

Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 397

You deserved it 1 097

By Renna303 - 18/09/2017 20:00

Today, I dropped my 6-month-old $3,500 guitar. Luckily, it had a one year warranty from the store so I drove back. It was shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 807

You deserved it 562

By PlsForget - 18/08/2016 21:47 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I was volunteering at a neighborhood house tutoring a bunch of kids. Everything was going fine until one of them jumped on the table I was at, which broke and hit my knee. I swore in front of all the kids and my volunteer coordinator. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 683

You deserved it 1 304

By Anonymous - 12/08/2016 12:24 - United States - Huron

Today, I found out that a coworker and I may get laid off soon, all because my boss's niece told him she can do both our jobs all by herself, and for less money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 650

You deserved it 1 102

By Ex-Employee - 31/07/2016 02:14 - United States

Today, my boss fired me for causing a "commotion" at work while running the vacuum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 163

You deserved it 1 024

By Anonymous - 10/11/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Derby

Today, after being hit by a car, I got up and hobbled to work instead of the hospital because no one else would cover my management shift. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 261

You deserved it 405

Support

By CallmeTokey - 12/07/2016 03:21

Today, as I was laying on the bottom part of my bunk bed, I noticed a beam on the underside of the top bunk that seemed to have no place being there, so I tried to find out what it was. I soon discovered it was to support the bed after it promptly collapsed on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 653

You deserved it 15 393

By Anonymous - 19/01/2018 20:30

Today, I got a check for $100 for a random selecting at work. My boyfriend’s reaction? Light it on fire out of jealously. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 067

You deserved it 479

Our anniversary

By Anonymous - 27/12/2019 18:00

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend actually remembered our anniversary. Not our anniversary of being together, which he forgot last month, but the anniversary of him getting his first blowjob from me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 533

You deserved it 521

Too late

By dumpedtaco - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, as I was planning my impending nuptials with my fiancé, my sister jokingly told him it's not too late to call it off. He took her seriously and bailed. He won’t answer my calls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 396

You deserved it 485

The miracle of barf

By EvictingItSoon - 08/03/2020 23:07

Today, what I thought was food poisoning is actually a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 792

You deserved it 712

Don't let the bedbugs bite!

By sleepingonthetoilet - 28/03/2018 15:00 - United States - Birmingham

Today, my supervisor locked me in the women's bathroom as I was cleaning it. I heard the owner scolding him, so I waited for the door to open, thinking he got in trouble. It wasn't until I heard the front gate locking that I realized I'm staying the night in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 553

You deserved it 396

By Coeurdencre - 06/06/2016 03:33

Today, my best friend, who reckons I'm doing a terrible job at finding a boyfriend, has started giving out my number to all the men she thinks "look trustworthy" in the subway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 602

You deserved it 913

Nice to know

By Anonymous - 04/06/2016 14:52 - United States - Bethlehem

Today, I tried having some girl time with my mom so I could sneakily figure out what to get her for her birthday. All I could think of in the end was a time machine, after her rant about wishing she'd gotten her tubes tied rather than going through the stress of raising me and my sister. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 303

You deserved it 975

By Itstinksinhere - 19/04/2018 15:00

Today, my husband thought it was the best idea ever to clean the cat's litter box with the brand new vacuum cleaner instead of tipping it into a bin bag. My house now fills with the smell of warm cat piss every time I hoover. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 659

You deserved it 414

Great first impression

By Anonymous - 11/06/2018 20:30

Today, while riding to the skate park, I noticed a gorgeous blonde walking towards me. She gave me a smile as I passed so I turned and looked behind me to get a second glance. I rode my BMX straight into a light pole in front of a pub patio full of people. She saw it all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 011

You deserved it 3 590

By Anonymous - 10/08/2018 18:30

Today, I finally had sex with my live-in boyfriend after a long dry spell. It was passionate and great, until I hurt my back changing positions. Now he refuses to touch me, going as far as sleeping on the couch to give me "enough space". Hello new dry spell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 294

You deserved it 404

By Anonymous - 19/04/2016 15:59 - United States - De Soto

Spicy

Today, I was at a party. A guy kept looking at me, so I tried to strike up a conversation with him. I realized he was drunk when he slurred, "Ya know, you're the only girl I've met that's fat AND flat chested!" There goes my self-esteem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 370

You deserved it 2 309

By itsnotalright - 17/03/2016 04:25 - United States - Reno

Today, I was washing my hands in a public bathroom when a lady came in, looked at me in the mirror and then opened the door again to check if she was in the right bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 889

You deserved it 1 920

itsnotalright tells us more.

itsnotalright 8

Friday 18 March 2016 4:23

nah, I was just wearing some skinny jeans and a hoodie XD

Cool cool cool

By Anonymous - 29/02/2016 22:56 - United States - San Bruno

Today, I hung out with some old friends for the first time since losing about 50 pounds, going from clinically obese to a healthy weight. I even bought a cute new dress for the occasion to show off my new body. No one noticed the change. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 816

You deserved it 2 439

He was a very good boy

By Anonymous - 24/02/2016 17:58 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, my girlfriend made me a chocolate cake to try and cheer me after my dog died. My dog died because my dad fed him chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 349

You deserved it 1 909

By Anonymous - 06/08/2009 11:11 - United States

Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 948

You deserved it 22 998

By kevinfmls - 16/01/2016 03:27 - United States - Reston

Today, at college, I asked the girl who usually sits next to me if she wanted to team up on our latest assignment. She gave me a disgusted look, said "Um, I'm MARRIED. Creep." and walked away. Seriously, what the fuck? FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 168

You deserved it 1 509

kevinfmls tells us more.

kevinfmls 12

Wednesday 30 March 2016 19:23

I haven't seen this until almost 3 months later! Thanks for the support, turns out she was LYING about being married and just wanted to not work with me in the most obvious way.

By Anonymous - 26/01/2017 00:00

Spicy

Today, I'm dating a guy who's back hair is longer than his dick. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 325

You deserved it 1 588

By ScaredOfClowns - 31/12/2015 16:40 - United Kingdom - Brighton

Today, my girlfriend let me stay over at her house for the first time. I went into her room only to find out she's obsessed with the Joker and has a bunch of posters and toys of him. I am deathly afraid of clowns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 264

You deserved it 3 763

ScaredOfClowns tells us more.

ScaredOfClowns 11

Friday 1 January 2016 21:55

(I didn't know how to get it to comment as the OP...) For those of you who are asking how I didn't know, she had never brought it up in conversation. We only recently started dating and she hadn't mentioned it at all. She knew that I was afraid of clowns and admitted later on that she thought I was kidding. I guess it could be worse, when I made an excuse to leave and we talked about it later, she suggest we stay at my place instead.

By angry asthmatic - 22/12/2018 20:00 - United States - Ann Arbor

Today, we had an emergency lockdown in my gym class. As a result, we had to go into the boys' locker room, so naturally, it smelled like a fart in there. Some dumbass had a "brilliant" idea to spray a WHOLE FUCKING CAN OF AXE SPRAY in the locker room. I have asthma. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 539

You deserved it 235

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Today, during a meal out with my team and bosses, I wasn't drinking. The waiter complained, "If you're not ordering alcohol, how am I supposed to take advantage of you later?" I'm not sure what's worse, the rapey pre-dinner joke or the awkward silence as my colleagues looked on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 942

You deserved it 2 517

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 818

You deserved it 5 731

Today, I took my girlfriend's 4-year-old son and four of his friends to the amusement park. While walking down a hill, I slipped on some water and slid down the hill, taking out multiple children. It wasn't rain. I'd slid on vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 300

You deserved it 3 266

Today, as a male in his 40s, I went to "mixed" aerobics. I arrived late to find the entire female class had started intensely warming up. Within 5 minutes I pulled a calf muscle and left limping pathetically past a martial arts class. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 534

You deserved it 643

Today, my bedroom in my gran's house gets the most sun in the evenings. There is no AC, not even a fan, and the only place cool enough to sleep is the basement. Which probably hasn’t been cleaned since the '80s, and I have to share it with the biggest spider ever and a beehive in the roller shutter casing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 301

You deserved it 198

Today, I tried to sneak into the kitchen for a midnight snack. I stubbed my toe so hard on a stool leg, I yelped then tried to keep as quiet as possible. My mom came running, thinking our cat and dog were fighting and hissing again. I hobbled back to bed, only to realize I didn't actually get any food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 111

You deserved it 277