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We are the 1%

By Anonymous - 30/05/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my wife’s posh relatives, who I can’t stand, came for a visit. Within 30 seconds, the bloke had mentioned his new Jaguar, his kid mentioned his yacht holiday, and the wife actually turned her nose up at sitting on the sofa, putting her coat on it first, then sitting on the coat. Bleeding snobs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 467

You deserved it 83

Pants down

By Anonymous - 05/06/2026 12:00 - Philippines - Makati City

Today, I was shopping in a mall when I needed to go to the bathroom. One of the toilets was out of order, so I went to the other toilet. After that, there was no toilet paper, so when I saw tissue in the sink, I left the stall with my pants down and someone saw me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 261

You deserved it 111

Confused

By Anonymous - 09/06/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my train was delayed, so I sprinted across the station to catch another one. I made it onto the train just before the doors closed. Then I looked around and realized I had boarded the exact same train I had just gotten off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 129

You deserved it 346

Yelling through it

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, after having horrific constipation the day before, I finally got the rock hard turd out of my system. Things got awkward as I cried out in pain and my mom asked me what was wrong. Realizing the dining room and kitchen was nearby, I said "Never mind, it's gross!" I think she figured it out anyways. FML

I agree, your life sucks 274

You deserved it 94

No Bob Ross

By Anonymous - 19/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I joined a beginners' painting class to finally try a new hobby. I was doing fine until I went to rinse my brush, dunked my entire hand into a cup of blue paint water, then spent the rest of class with one blue hand and a painting that looked like a potato in a storm. The instructor said it had “character,” which I assume was out of sympathy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 87

It's not all doom and gloom

By Anonymous - 23/06/2026 03:00 - Germany - Jembke

Today, I pet my neighbour's two cats. They were at opposite ends of the same room, so I could only pet one at a time. When I pet one, the other one felt lonely and cried for me. I felt sorry for her. Cutest FML ever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 182

You deserved it 72

Not technically front row, then

By Jenny - 09/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, after I bought front-row tickets thanks to six months of saving, it was finally showtime. The person in front of me turned out to be really, really tall and wore a cowboy hat the entire show. Every photo I took looks like I paid $300 to watch the back of a hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 91

Bowler

By Gutter - 14/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Reno

Today, after I'd spent two weeks convincing my friends I could definitely beat them at bowling, on the first throw of the night, I slipped, launched the ball into the gutter three feet in front of me, and somehow pulled a muscle in my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 387

Puberty sucks

By Anonymous - 19/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Denver

Today, and for the past week, I practiced my speech for the school debate team. Right as I started, my 14 year-old voice cracked so hard that the first sentence came out sounding like a startled goat. The judge tried not to laugh, but I spent the rest of the round fighting octave changes in my voice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 52

Make a scene

By Doug - 21/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I was at a wedding. The ceremony was beautiful, right up until the ring bearer tripped. The rings were fine. However, the emergency chocolate bar I'd hidden in my suit pocket for later flew out and landed in front of the bride and groom. Some wedding photos now feature a chocolate bar in the center aisle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 254

Foul language

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, my whole family ganged up on me because I called my 9-year-old niece a cunt. The little brat purposely ruined my son's final science project for school and caused him to get a zero, even though we wrote a note to the teacher explaining what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 117

See you next week

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I went to the dentist. Normally I walk out with no work to be done as he says my teeth are always great. I thought it was weird this time that he was scraping and pushing at my tooth when he usually doesn't. I'd walked in with a full set of teeth, walked out with a dentist-caused chipped tooth and a filling booked in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 42

Military time is best

By Late lateeee - 09/06/2026 09:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my phone alarm didn't go off this morning. Furious, I spent ten minutes complaining about technology before realizing I'd carefully set the alarm for 7:00 PM instead of 7:00 AM. The technology was actually innocent for once. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50

You deserved it 390

Take this seriously!

By well fuck u then! jst fail - 29/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, to help my fellow trainees, I made a very long post in the training Teams chat detailing every detail that tripped me up recently. One responded, "Sir this is a Wendy's" and they all bust up laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 130

You deserved it 310

Good grief

By Saddie - 04/06/2026 03:00 - Germany - Frankfurt am Main

Today, the man I loved broke up with me, because he felt like his feelings for me were not enough for a serious relationship. As much as I'm thankful that he didn't drag me along, this hurts like hell. FML

I agree, your life sucks 375

You deserved it 86

All fixed up

By Anonymous - 09/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, after I was wrapping up a visit with my chiropractor, I nearly fell off his table onto my face when I missed a handhold trying to push myself upright. After getting up, I then bumped into a poster on the wall, nearly knocking it onto the floor. At least the chiropractor had a good sense of humor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 85

Now you know

By codenamevulture - 12/06/2026 22:00 - United States - New York

Today, it's been a few weeks now since I started dating a boy. A whole fairy tale relationship. He would write me poems and all that garbage. Today, we sat by a bonfire, and he randomly mentioned his three other girlfriends, and how I should accept them due to his family traditionally having cheating husbands. FML

I agree, your life sucks 470

You deserved it 70

Broken haircut

By Anonymous - 20/06/2026 03:00 - Canada

Today, as a broke 19-year-old college student, I thought I could save money by cutting my own hair before a presentation. I did one side fine, got distracted and somehow made the other side two inches shorter. I spent the whole class angling my head like I had a neck injury. FML

I agree, your life sucks 114

You deserved it 331

I'm the father who stepped up

By Anonymous - 02/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my parents started nagging me yet again to have kids. When I pointed out that I already do, they scoffed and said that my five step-kids don't count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 78

Safe in the closet

By Anonymous - 04/06/2026 09:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I realized I'd spent 14 months giving my love to a closeted lesbian, who used me like an emotional vampire to hide. She cried about her ex leaving her for a man, then did the same to me. She's a parasite jumping from host to host because she's too cowardly to be honest. I’m just her latest supply. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 79

Custody

By Anonymous - 07/06/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I regret letting my adoptive daughter find her biological father because now he's intent on getting her back. He said he never agreed to giving her up for adoption and will do everything in his power to get her. She's terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 76

Have fun!

By Anonymous - 11/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I had to watch my husband and kids go off on our trip to Hawaii without me because I forgot my wallet at home and couldn't afford to take a later flight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 147

You deserved it 423

Congratulations?

By I hate my life - 14/06/2026 22:00 - United States - Boston

Today, I was reminded that I'd submitted a short story to a writing competition months ago when I got an email saying I'd won second place. I excitedly forwarded it to friends and family. A few minutes later, another email arrived, explaining they'd contacted the wrong person. My celebration lasted exactly eleven minutes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 357

You deserved it 69

The economy is doing great

By Anonymous - 26/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Boston

Today, during a work happy hour, someone complained about “people who still live with their parents after 25.” I laughed along before remembering I had taken the train there from my parents’ house because my landlord raised my rent again. To make it worse, the guy at the table later asked if anyone could spot him money for a taxi home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 220

Do not attempt this at home

By Poopy - 02/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 484

I wanna go home

By "Anonymous survey" my ass - 04/06/2026 12:00 - Brazil - Itajaí

Today, I got written up at work. Apparently, "Going fully remote" is not an answer to "How can we be more sustainable at work and help save the planet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 383

You deserved it 74

Recruitment hell

By Unemployedloser - 08/06/2026 00:00 - Canada - Mississauga

Today, I had a job interview and the interviewer assumed that since I'm short, I wouldn't be able to take the garbage out. Yesterday I had another interviewer call me a loser for being a stay-at-home mom. I'm gonna be unemployed forever it seems. FML

I agree, your life sucks 389

You deserved it 75

Like father, like son

By I'm dad - 26/05/2026 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 434

We meet again

By Embarrassed - 09/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, at the airport, I was waiting for my best friend who's been away for over a year. I spotted her, ran over, yelled her name, and jumped on her back. It wasn't her. It was a complete stranger who was somehow more terrified than I was embarrassed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84

You deserved it 386

Out of tune

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, after I spent 3 months secretly learning guitar so I could surprise everyone at a family barbecue, the moment finally came. I sat down, took a deep breath, and realized I'd practiced every song with a capo I forgot to bring, as well as my tuner. Everything sounded terrible. My uncle asked if I was improvising Free Jazz. FML

I agree, your life sucks 232

You deserved it 189

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The Top

Today, my girlfriend made a patronising post on Facebook, "to all you guys out there" saying how having sex with a drunk person is straight-up, 100% rape. I pointed out that she's had sex with me several times after I've come home drunk. That pissed her off. Now I'm single. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 387

You deserved it 5 162

Today, my mom went through my textbook and sharpied everything that could be "pornographic." It's a high-school biology textbook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 957

You deserved it 2 074

Today, as a means of getting over my abusive ex, I decided to write his name on a piece of paper and light it on fire. As I lit the paper up, I noticed the marker ink had bled through it. The paper is gone, but his name is forever engraved on my desk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 534

You deserved it 19 578

Today, the cops pulled over and tried to arrest my friends for transportation of a corpse and murder. Just because you find a body in the back of a truck bed, wrapped in a blanket cocoon and apparently unresponsive, does not mean they are dead. I was very much alive, thank you very much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 373

You deserved it 2 424

Today, I went to switch my phone number to a new carrier. During the credit check, I was told that I couldn't because I already had an active account. This came as a surprise, as I've never had an account with that carrier. Time to file a fraud claim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 280

You deserved it 196

Today, my boyfriend has trained my three cats to respond to "Fart Cat", "Little Shit", and "Lumpy Butt" as well as their actual names. I'd be less annoyed if all three didn't adore him and sit on his lap every day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 307

You deserved it 113