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Words of encouragement

By rolypoly - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, I achieved a personal goal by completing a half-marathon for charity, despite being overweight and unfit before training. When I finished I cried, not because I was proud of myself, but because I ran the last two miles while being followed by kids on bicycles calling me a "fat cunt". FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 924

You deserved it 5 703

It is though

By Timv86 - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, I went to the shops with my little sister. We had to walk through the lingerie section of the store to get to another part. My sister then yelled at the top of her voice, "Stop following me, you freak." I had security escort me out of the store, and got many dirty looks. She thought it was hilarious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 310

You deserved it 3 145

Pet peeve

By Herman - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - France

Today, a guy at work told me to, "Relax, dude", All. Day. Long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 055

You deserved it 5 845

Rejection

By creditwhore - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided to apply for a credit card to help build up my credit rating. It seemed smart since I'm a 24 year-old college graduate. I was rejected for not having a credit history. Being rejected turns out to hurt your credit history. The irony of my predicament is too great for words. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 958

You deserved it 2 951

My life

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Akron

Today, my mom got drunk and started crying, ranting about all the things she could have done in life if I hadn't been born. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 754

You deserved it 4 204

Gullible

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Canada - Galt

Today, my 16-year-old brother managed to convince my 22-year-old boyfriend that I breastfeed my pet parrot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 965

You deserved it 5 502

All shook up

By Mike - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff

Today, while giving a brief presentation at work, I blanked out on what I was going to say. I tried to make a joke and tell them I'd had a brain fart, but all I managed to say was, "I farted." Well, at least they all laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 283

You deserved it 8 778

On the scene

By fire1 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, working as an EMT on an ambulance, we had a patient who refused to accept that he had a massive GI bleed, despite the fact that bloody stool was flowing from his anus all over my ambulance. To make things worse, my EMT ride-along student puked all over the patient. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 655

You deserved it 2 372

Chill out, lady

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Belgium - Gent

Today, I was verbally and physically attacked in a public pool, because I was swimming in what a grandma claimed was her part of the pool. Since I'm a very tolerant person, I calmly tried to talk some reason into the elderly lady. The lifeguard had to come to protect me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 067

You deserved it 1 816

It's alive!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I decided I'd take a nap in my car because I got to work very early. As I was waking up from my nap, I saw a cop looking right at me. Turns out, a lady who'd parked her car right next to mine after I was asleep had called the cops on me because she thought I was dead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 750

You deserved it 4 381

Great idea for a prank

By Lordy - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Saudi Arabia

Today, I went to work to find a picture on my desk of me with my buttcrack showing put there by an anonymous person. FM

I agree, your life sucks 13 865

You deserved it 2 567

C'mon, do me a solid

By comeonnow - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Coldwater

Today, my mom's boss reversed into my parked car. She expects me to say that it's my fault so she doesn't have her insurance increase. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 790

You deserved it 795

Public service announcement

By apaterra - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Washington

Today, I had to come up with a new rule for my library's patrons: If you, your child, or your dog has thrown up on our books, we DON'T WANT THEM BACK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 699

You deserved it 1 579

He's probably right

By Ferniferousfern - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend of several years outright refuses to come to my best friend's wedding, on the grounds that he'll be "bored." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 514

You deserved it 545

Bad news

By Its over - 20/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 467

The golden child

By Gone - 16/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Richmond

Today, my wife changed her mind on us having kids, because her eight year-old son said he liked being an only child. She says that my devastated and angry reaction is incredibly unattractive and immature, and that I need to accept compromise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 464

You deserved it 91

Tight fit

By Jeliss - 15/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my husband says money is tight. Apparently, we can’t afford new shoes for our son who is going back to school next week and we barely have food in the pantry and fridge, yet he pays $19.99/month for an OnlyFans subscription. FML

I agree, your life sucks 465

You deserved it 80

You have been warned

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, a woman showed me a copy of my wedding picture with her face photoshopped over mine. I burst into tears and cussed her out for being a creepy bitch. She had proof my husband had sent it to her that way, saying “this is how it should’ve been”. She was just trying to warn me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 77

Damn birds!

By Anonymous - 18/08/2026 12:00 - France - Lille

Today, a pigeon flew into my apartment through an open window. I tried for 20 minutes to guide it back outside. It eventually left on its own, then immediately flew back in through the window again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 246

You deserved it 88

Self-sabotage

By DumbHead - 15/08/2026 03:00 - India - Chennai

Today, I really like my job and need it for sustenance. Despite that, my brain constantly finds ways to screw up my job. Outside of work, all my friends refer to me as "The Genius" or the "brilliant one". But at work, I'm a dunce. Why brain, why? FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 198

Evil little *****

By Anonymous - 18/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom - Camberley

Today, I was helping a friend tidy their garden and I lifted up a big sheet of plywood. Turns out there was a wasp nest under it. Also, turns out my friend knew it was there and let me disturb it because they “wanted to see what would happen.” About 600 fucking wasp stings, that’s what happens, you twat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 476

You deserved it 58

Bad seed

By Anonymous - 15/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Carrollton

Today, everyone says I'm being too hard on my son, who I disowned and went no contact with after he cleaned out all of my late wife's belongings without asking. I have nothing, literally nothing left of her now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 468

You deserved it 55

This is awkward…

By Anonymous - 20/08/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my brother and I spent almost $600 to plan and throw a divorce party for our mother. She proceeded to announce that she and our dad are staying together and that we completely jumped the gun. We deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 279

Alpha moron

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, after all my years of teaching, I may have met the most ignorant sack of sentient excrement on the planet. A man came into the office demanding his son be transferred out of my class because he can’t be an "alpha" if he’s being taught by a woman (read that as "bitch"). FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 63

Do it again

By Not Kevin - 18/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Denver

Today, after I'd ordered a birthday cake with my name written on it, I went to pick it up but the bakery messed up and wrote the name of the person who ordered one right before me. I stood at the party smiling while everyone congratulated “Kevin.” I am not called Kevin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 269

You deserved it 85

Basic

By Sheldon Cooper says what? - 20/08/2026 09:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, my boyfriend is pissed at me and went so far as to equate it to cheating that I went out to eat with some friends. I’d love to go to a restaurant with him but he refuses to eat anything other than beef, cheese, white bread, and chicken nuggets. That man has the palate of a 4 year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 316

You deserved it 93

Slightly intoxicated

By Clare99 - 17/08/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Sheffield

Today, drunk, I tried to sneak quietly into my flat at 2 a.m. so I wouldn't wake anyone up. I stepped on the one squeaky floorboard, dropped my keys, kicked my left shoe into a door, and somehow knocked a framed picture off the wall. My flatmate texted me from her bed, “You OK out there?” FM

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 333

It's not me, it's you

By Anonymous - 19/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Suffolk

Today, after I tried to break up with my boyfriend, he said he won't give up on us and asked me to go to therapy. According to him, “You might need medication for how you feel.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 328

You deserved it 69

Part-ay!

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband invited 20 of his friends over, no discussion, just 20 strangers in my house. I got mad and went upstairs to our bedroom, which has an en suite shower. I got naked, and yet another dude came out of our en suite and walked right past my bare ass while I screamed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 92

Better sorry than safe

By Dumb bitch (RIP Zeus) - 18/08/2026 00:00 - The Netherlands - Naaldwijk

Today, as I was preparing to clear an overgrown area of our yard, I treated my pants and shoes with permethrin, as ticks are a problem in my area. I told my girlfriend explicitly NOT to let the cat out for the day, as it is deadly to cats. She didn't listen and now I have to dig a grave. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 91

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The Top

Today, I came home from a vacation. It had snowed, so I decided to shovel the front walk. While shoveling, I found a dead skunk frozen solid on the sidewalk. I tried to pick it up with my shovel, but it stuck. It won't move 'til the ice melts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 680

You deserved it 3 072

Today, I was talking to my manager about a movie. She asked what main actors were in it, but the only one I could remember was Forest Whitaker. I told her then immediately blurted out "You know, the one with the freaky lazy eye." My manager has a lazy eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 291

You deserved it 33 297

Today, I was having a panic attack so I called my parents. My brother answered to say my parents couldn't come to the phone because they were watching 24. Its ten o'clock and 24 is not on now. They were watching 24 on TiVo and couldn't pause it to come to the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 773

You deserved it 5 400

Today, I caught up with a good friend and he let me rant about my sexless marriage. He was really understanding and supportive. I got home and he sent me 5 pictures of his wife in a small bikini, saying, “Guess who doesn’t have your problems?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 399

You deserved it 539

Today, my ex asked me if he could live with me so he wouldn't be homeless. He also asked if he could introduce me to his new girlfriend so they wouldn't have "trust issues." This coming from the same guy living with grandma and mom, who has no job, no car, and basically dumped me for her. Like, sure buddy I'll get right on making her feel comfortable. FML

I agree, your life sucks 989

You deserved it 150

Today, I decided to try a new hairstyle. I ended up with a haircut that makes me look like a cross between a mullet head and a pineapple. My friends are planning on making fun of me for a few weeks, so might as well shave it all off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 596

You deserved it 275