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Just swallow it

By Crazy kid - 18/06/2026 15:00 - United States - Yuba City

Today, I was in class when I coughed up so much snot inside my mouth. It was so gross, I couldn’t talk. I raised my hand to go over to the sink to spit it out but I couldn’t talk and he didn’t understand, so I just got up and walked over. A few kids in the back saw me do it and said, "Ewwww." Everyone stared. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 105

Some more news

By Anonymous - 22/06/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML

I agree, your life sucks 175

You deserved it 405

Don't neglect yourself

By Anonymous - 24/06/2026 00:00 - United States - Rialto

Today, I had to send a camper home before the summer session was up. She was very upset and cussed me out. I was then cussed out by her parents when they came to pick her up. She was sent home for refusal to shower and her bunk mates all complained about the corpse-like stench. FML

I agree, your life sucks 352

You deserved it 69

Cuckoo

By Fuck them both - 26/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, my mom gave me thirty days notice to find an apartment and move out. Why? She's dating my former best friend and wants to move him in, but he won't do it until I'm gone because it would be "awkward." FML

I agree, your life sucks 414

You deserved it 71

Neighborhood watch

By Anonymous - 10/06/2026 00:00 - Australia

Today, my apartment building finally fixed our broken intercom. A few hours later, I buzzed in a food delivery driver while trying to reject a spam call. He wandered the building for 15 min, knocking on random doors before finding me. Three neighbors now think I order tacos under a fake name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 240

You deserved it 85

Maybe I'll stay home

By Anonymous - 16/06/2026 22:00 - Canada - Saskatoon

Today, while I was doing my hair and makeup, I somehow managed to spray myself in the right eye with hairspray, and in the left eye with makeup setting spray. I left the house with two very bloodshot eyes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 0

You deserved it 0

Memory hole

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 12:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about plans I've made for next week with his cousin. “What?” he says, “This is the first time I’m hearing of this!” No honey, it's actually the second time I’ve told you about it in as many days, including the exact explanation of how these plans came to be. FML

I agree, your life sucks 323

You deserved it 91

So disappointed

By Anonymous - 04/06/2026 20:00 - United States

Today I've come to the realization that I prefer my stepson over my biological son. My stepson is an amazing kid while my biological is in prison for drugs. My ex-wife completely spoiled him rotten and everything despite all my efforts. FML.

I agree, your life sucks 355

You deserved it 87

Shipping is extra

By Lili - 18/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Galveston

Today, a package marked "FRAGILE" arrived after weeks of waiting. The box looked perfect. Inside, the item was shattered. The only thing that survived the trip was the instruction manual explaining how carefully the product had been tested for durability. FML

I agree, your life sucks 340

You deserved it 47

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The Top

Today, it's my birthday. At my workplace, we always get a cake for whoever's birthday it is. They somehow forgot about me. I've been working there for a year, and my grandparents and my dad own the restaurant I work at. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 180

You deserved it 3 421

Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 107

You deserved it 40 127

Today, I hit a parked car and fled because I was so scared. Four hours later, the cops showed up at my house so I broke down crying confessing everything. Turns out, they weren't there about the car I hit. They were alerting me about the string of burglaries in my neighborhood recently. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 228

You deserved it 76 170

Today, I booked a driver's ed course to avoid 3 points on my driving licence for doing 40 in 30 zone. That day, my wife kept quarrelling in the car, I got angry at her for a second, apparently also stepping on the gas. A triumphant copper with a speed gun was right there. I haven't had a speeding ticket in 25 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 297

You deserved it 781

Today, I was told “unofficially” that I should stop wearing brown scrubs to work. More than one patient complained to the front desk and said they thought I was naked when I walked into the room. My scrubs aren’t even tight. I'm pretty sure it’s my brown skin that bothers them more than brown scrubs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 506

You deserved it 193

Today, I'm in the hospital getting prepped for a colonoscopy. Accidents happen, but the worst was right after the janitor finished cleaning the aftermath of the LAST accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 359

You deserved it 85