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The all-time greatest FMLs

Crash

By Anonymous - 01/02/2026 12:00

Today, I was proud of myself for buying the lowest calorie option at a Subway that I could walk to. By the time I managed to get there my blood sugar severely crashed (it didn't help that two people in front of me were ordering subs for their family and coworkers). I ended up buying six cookies to stave off the crash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 273

Hazy day

By Laurence - 18/03/2025 22:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, my alarm went off, and in my half-asleep state, I grabbed my phone and snoozed it. When I woke up an hour later, I realized I'd actually snoozed my work email notification for the same amount of time, and my boss was emailing me every five minutes, asking where I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 434

Here's to another 20!

By Roy - 08/11/2023 12:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, it’s been 20 years since my then girlfriend of 2 weeks fell asleep while I was going down on her. She claimed it was because she was so ‘relaxed’ with me. I married her anyway. Now, she’s still very, very ‘relaxed’ with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 519

RIP

By Anon - 11/09/2023 17:00 - New Zealand

Today, while on a nature hike with friends. I tried to take a selfie at the edge of a cliff with the majestic view as a backdrop, but I slipped and dropped my phone. It's now RIP (resting in pieces) at the bottom of a ravine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 1 144

On the down low

By Anonymous - 31/07/2024 06:00 - United States - Milwaukee

Today, during a long flight, I tried to discreetly pass gas. Instead, I misjudged the pressure and ended up making a loud noise that everyone around me seemingly heard. To make matters worse, the flight attendant asked if everything was OK. Now I’m probably remembered as "Farts on a plane." FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 498

Yummy

By Anonymous - 03/02/2025 12:00 - United States - Des Moines

Today, I was running late for work and skipped breakfast. At a red light, I noticed a granola bar in my bag and so I took a bite, only to realize it was actually a dog treat I'd stuffed in there days ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 459

Mystery man

By me. - 13/01/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, the girls from my high school still think they are too cool to associate with me. They ignored/avoided me in high school, assuming I was too weird. We could have 96+ mutual followers from our class and I still only get accepted without a follow back. What have they heard about me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 547

Good boy nonetheless

By Ethan - 18/08/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I took my new puppy to the dog park, proud of my cute little fluff ball. Instead of behaving nicely like the other dogs present, my dog ignored every toy, treat and friendly dog, and ran straight into a pond. He emerged soaked, covered in mud, and proudly dropped a muddy stick at my feet like it was a trophy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 181

You deserved it 411

Thud

By Dammit - 03/02/2025 15:00 - United States

Today, I got home after a long day and collapsed onto my bed… forgetting I'd left my laptop open on it. Now I have an expensive, broken pillow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 455

Don't think so highly of yourself

By Book by its cover - 08/10/2022 19:00 - United States - Federal Way

Today, I was in an elevator when some awkward geeky-looking guy walked in. He asked me how my day was, but I said, “You’re not my type, don’t even try.” An hour later, I was at a concert. Turns out he was the lead singer of the opening band. He glared at me angrily when he noticed me in the crowd. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 3 133

That's just under 3 degrees Celsius

By NotWhitneyH - 17/01/2023 06:00

Today, I was watching Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance With Somebody. I guess I was too much into the songs because I got heckled and kicked out of the theatre. Oh, and I got ice all over my jacket. It’s 37 degrees outside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 1 189

Sound off

By Nina - 20/05/2022 12:00

Today, before third period I went to the restroom and tried to take a sexy Snapchat video to surprise my boyfriend. My video was ruined thanks to some slob in the next stall taking the loudest most explosive dump I've ever heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 2 487

FINNBY boss

By danny - 03/10/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I spent two hours building an IKEA bookshelf. When I was finished, I realized it was inside-out. There was no way to fix it without completely taking it apart again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 470

Brain fart

By Anonymous - 15/08/2025 00:00 - Australia

Today, I walked up to a store’s automatic doors. They didn’t open. I waved my arms, stepped back and forward again, nothing. A staff member came over, tapped a button, and said, “It’s manual.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 329

Let me out of here

By Bakerman - 04/06/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I decided to break up with my girlfriend. I sat her down and gave her the speech. She broke down in tears and said, “Why does every guy always abandon me? Why am I never good enough?” I felt so bad for her that I took back the breakup and we’re still together now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 808

This is great

By Anonymous - 09/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Bartlesville

Today, I started my day with terrible food poisoning and ending my day alone, with a boyfriend in jail. We've had one short conversation since he was arrested. My birthday is in three days, and we have no idea if he will be released in time because of the system working slowly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 486

Close shave

By Anonymous - 21/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, as a barista, I tried to be quick during the morning rush. Someone asked for oat milk, so I grabbed the carton without checking. It wasn’t oat milk, it was the cleaning solution bottle we keep under the counter, same shape, same colour cap. Luckily I noticed before serving it, but my manager watched the entire thing in silence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 398

Bullet dodged

By RIP me - 16/01/2026 20:00

Today, I was talking with my newly-single male friend, who I've had a crush on forever. He was rattling off his list of what he looks for in a woman, like, "Must want kids, must eat meat…" I got excited thinking I might have a shot until I heard, "Must be at least somewhat right wing." Fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 483

Who, me?

By Drive - 02/02/2026 09:00

Today, I waved at someone I thought was waving at me in my delivery truck. They weren’t. They were stretching. I still finished the wave and gave a thumbs-up because quitting felt worse. We locked eyes. I have to deliver to the same building again tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 180

You deserved it 206

Judge Judy over here

By How are we related? - 15/02/2026 20:00

Today, I met my cousin for the first time in years. She's 19, but she's already engaged to a guy EIGHT YEARS OLDER than her, and they're planning to get married this spring. She said she's excited to have kids soon. She's throwing away her youth to be a fucking Handmaid. This poor girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 535

Wakey wakey

By Thanks, Mom - 26/11/2023 10:00 - United States

Today, I wasn't sure if I would have to go to work. My mom told me the night before that she would wake me up if I had to. I woke up, and seeing that it was past the time I normally go to work, I happily assumed I got called off. That is, until I got a phone call from my boss asking me why I wasn't there yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 712

Merry Christmas!

By Tree of life - 23/12/2025 03:00

Today, I bought a Christmas tree and carried it up three flights of stairs alone. I finally got it inside, only to realize it was too tall. I tried trimming it, but now it’s crooked, shedding everywhere, and leaning like it gave up on life. I hope the greenish marks on the ceiling won't be permanent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 325

I know her so well

By Anonymous - 20/01/2025 00:00 - United States - Detroit

Today, I spent a good deal of my afternoon preparing a nice dinner for my girlfriend. When I finally served the meal, I proudly presented her with a beautifully arranged plate of salmon. She looked at it and said, “You know I’m allergic to fish, right?” We had cereal for dinner instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 765

So frustrating!

By Anonymous - 17/09/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I caught my husband masturbating to porn. I screamed at him and demanded to know why he was masturbating when he has a wife to have sex with. He said, "Because you always reject me?" I was about to yell back when I realized he was right. I'm a terrible wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 1 990

You've got something…

By Chris - 04/08/2025 00:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I rushed out of the bathroom with toothpaste smeared all over my chin and cheek. I was so anxious about going on a date that I didn’t realize this until said date pointed it out halfway through dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 422

Stinky and gross

By Anonymous - 09/06/2024 20:00 - Canada

Today, I was at a crowded restaurant and rushed to the bathroom. In my haste, I didn't notice I had walked into the men's room until I was washing my hands and a guy walked in, gave me a puzzled look, and said, "You're brave." FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 382

Making a scene

By Anonymous - 28/02/2025 00:00 - United States - Spokane

Today, I was at a coffee shop with my boyfriend when we got into a little argument. I was trying to keep it calm and quiet, but my boyfriend yelled, "I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE DOING THIS TO ME!" The entire coffee shop went silent. Then, an old lady yelled, “Finally, someone said it!” FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 389

Reported and blocked

By Me. - 17/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I got fired as a waiter because I refused to serve alcohol to a pregnant woman and she reported me. Turns out she's not pregnant, she's just a fat Karen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 1 063

Blood drive

By Queasy Dave - 03/07/2026 09:00 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I tried donating blood for the first time because my company was hosting a blood drive. Right after telling everyone I wasn't afraid of needles, I fainted before they could even use one. I woke up surrounded by phlebotomists offering me juice while my coworkers whooped like I'd just scored a goal. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 264

Micromanagement

By Anonymous - 19/11/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom - City of Westminster

Today, I’m 15 and my mother banned me from watching YouTube because it’s "distracting." What the f***? How? Now I have to pretend that I've watched the things my friends send me so they won’t know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 546

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The Top

Today, I was walking my dog around my neighborhood, when I saw this really cute boy. My dog then saw a squirrel and dragged me through mud. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 739

You deserved it 3 571

Today, I found out that my six year-old cousin has a raging crush on my boyfriend. She lives across the street and watches from her window for his car to appear in front of my house. She's indicated that she'll stop at nothing until he's hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 568

You deserved it 2 355

Today, I was working at the hospital front desk when an elderly man started hurling racial slurs at another visitor. A fight broke out, so I stepped in and forcibly separated the two. The old man tripped and crashed to the floor. Now I'm under investigation for "contributing to workplace violence." FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 417

You deserved it 2 837

Today, I got food poisoning from my wedding food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 388

You deserved it 3 924

Today, my husband has both arms broken, and I have to help him in the bathroom. Not the problem. My girlfriends and I have been pranking each other lately and it's been fun, but they decided to slip my husband slip him some laxatives so that I would have to clean him him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 078

You deserved it 202

Today, we got a new kitchen but in my wife’s brain it’s so perfect that she doesn’t want it ruined by anything, so no one is allowed to use it. it’s been installed for 4 days, we haven’t cooked anything, used the sink, fridge empty. I can’t even put anything on the counter in case it scratches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 586

You deserved it 98