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The all-time greatest FMLs

Shit stain is insane

By fuck - 07/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, work was so busy that when I went to take a shit, I had to force it and wipe hurriedly. Later, when I got home and hopped in the shower, my wife saw the skid mark in my underwear and lost her shit, calling me a disgusting disgraceful pig. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 455

Weird logic

By kat - 31/12/2023 06:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I told my guy friend to not put pictures of me on his story when we hang out, to which he replied, “You rejected me, but you continue to ask about my friends. For some reason you refuse to help me out with yours. At least some other girl I know will think I’m a catch for hanging with you.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 1 052

Commited

By oops - 07/04/2026 15:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I’m a junior developer and I'd pushed what I thought was a minor fix right before logging off on Friday. Monday morning, I walked into a message: “Site down since Saturday.” My “tiny change” broke a key function. The whole team was already in a call when I joined, and I had to say, "Yeah, um… that was my commit.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 467

It's a gas gas gas

By Anonymous - 17/08/2024 09:00 - Canada - Kamloops

Today, my pug farted so much that I thought there was an actual gas leak. I kept checking the oven and making sure our C02 detector had batteries before I heard a squeaky fart come from my dog. Don't get a pug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 346

Do not attempt this at home

By Fillie - 21/02/2024 12:00

Today, I took part in a karaoke night, and confidently chose "Man in The Mirror" by Michael Jackson, but forgot that the song has a key change. My attempt to hit the high note sounded like a cat being stepped on. I didn't survive the embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 471

Sitcom moment

By Anonymous - 29/12/2025 09:00

Today, my friends were criticizing me, a 36 year-old man hitting on a 22 year-old I met at a bar. I brought up that she’s a consenting adult. One of them responded, “Dude, the year she was born, you were old enough to jerk off and your voice was dropping… isn’t that a turnoff for you?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 741

Resistance

By Anonymous - 01/08/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the compact fluorescent light bulbs that I use to save money AND help the environment were too high of a wattage to put in my lamps. I've been doing this for years and completely missed the warning label on the inside of the lampshade that says that the lamp is only good for up to 40 watts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 185

You deserved it 728

I'll get my coat

By Rossi - 17/04/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, the guy I like shared a repost on his Instagram story that said, “No message is a message. Take the hint and move on.” He’d left my last message to him on “Seen” for 4 days now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 369

Way too chill, dude

By Anonymous - 03/08/2024 20:00 - United States - Greensboro

Today, I went to what I thought was my friend’s house for a barbecue. I walked into the backyard and started chatting with people I didn't recognize. After about 20 minutes, I realized I was at the wrong house, eating a stranger's food. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 488

Wafting

By Anonymous woman - 05/10/2024 14:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, at a family gathering, I was talking to my uncle about my "awful neighbor who smokes pot all day while listening to shitty bro country, and tries to cover the smell with cheap incense." After a moment of awkward silence, I remembered my cousin, his son, is my neighbor. He was more offended by the fact that I'd insulted his taste in music. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 473

You don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 23/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, me and my dad were talking about my gambling habits and I was saying how proud I was that I follow my set limits (I only gamble once a month and online, and set a strict deposit limit on myself). Unfortunately, he began asking questions about my online gambling sites, etc. I'm worried I might get him addicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 256

I got lamped

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out that all the allegations made against my father were false. I tried to apologize for not standing by him, but he punched me in the face and told me that he hated me. My nose is broken. I won't press charges because I know I deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 465

Protip

By Late, for a very important date - 22/07/2022 22:00

Today, I found out my boyfriend accounts for my being late all the time whenever we go out. For example, he will ask me to be ready by 7, knowing I don't actually need to be ready until 7:45. He was so good at it that it's taken me 6 months of dating to notice. Am I insulted or impressed, I don't know. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 2 806

Bring your A game

By Anonymous - 23/12/2024 09:00 - United States

Today, I spent ages getting dressed up for a date I’ve been excited for. I even put on cologne for the first time in forever. When I arrived at the restaurant, I realized I had forgotten my wallet. I spent the entire meal pretending to be “really into the conversation” while internally panicking about how I was going to pay. It didn't end well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 491

Six feet under

By Anonymous - 25/08/2025 22:00

Today, on my first day driving a hearse, I took a wrong turn and of course every car behind followed me. Out of pure habit I had turned right into the main street as though I was driving home, when I should've turned left. At least my wife got to see me from the window as I drove past the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 360

Rolling thunder

By Dana - 21/11/2025 00:00

Today, it's been a week that I've had bad constipation. Overeating on my 16th birthday last week got me sick; since then I've pooped only once, and it took a hard push to go it out. Today I had my second poop. Good news: I did go. Bad: it happened on the bus home from school. My pals actually cheered when I finished straining. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 334

Are you OK?

By anon - 15/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, my phone rang during a meeting. I quickly silenced it, and put it in my pocket. A few minutes later, my boss’s phone rang. It was me, butt-dialing him while we were sitting in the same room. He answered and asked if I had something urgent to discuss. I did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 419

Stay out of it

By Muddy - 28/12/2025 00:00

Today, my disgusting coworker made a comment about "women versus accountability" and I couldn't even yell at him for being a sexist scumbucket, because my wife threw coffee at me yesterday for pointing out that she'd left the chips open and they went stale. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 367

First time?

By Anonymous - 22/02/2024 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I was mortified when I went to the doctor for what I thought was an allergic reaction rash and turned out to just be a bad carpet burn from rough sex, on my back and my ass cheeks. The doctor was visibly trying not to laugh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 512

Instant Regret

By FML Videos - 29/09/2018 00:30

Patience is a virtue!

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 398

Kinda sus

By Anonymous - 20/07/2023 12:00 - Canada - Moncton

Today, I decided to reach out to someone I'd met randomly. I found them on social media and sent them a message. After telling my SO, he pointed out that that was stalking. I'm a creep now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 184

You deserved it 887

Too soon?

By Anonymous - 02/09/2023 10:00

Today, I was on a date with a guy met on Tinder when he asked if he could kiss me, but all I was thinking about was my ex and how I miss him so much, even though it’s been a month and half. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 877

Downloading

By Always less important than video games - 12/12/2025 00:00

Today, when I got home, the apartment was clean for once. I gasped in surprise, and my boyfriend came out of the bathroom, carried me to the bedroom, and brutally ravished me. Afterwards, I asked him what brought this on. "Well, I bought a new game and it took forever to download..." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 294

Buckle up!

By Anonymous - 25/06/2024 16:00 - South Africa

Today, I found out my wife is pregnant with our third child. This wouldn't be a problem but we only want two kids and I had a vasectomy 6 weeks ago (they take 3 months to be effective). We weren't careful only one time, and since it was difficult to conceive the two we wanted, we didn't think it would be a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 776

I guess that's a "NO!" then?

By Anonymous - 01/09/2024 16:00 - Canada - Ottawa

Today, I thought it would be romantic to propose to my girlfriend during halftime at a local football game. I arranged everything with the stadium staff. When the moment came, I got down on one knee, only for her to hiss, "Are you serious? Right here?" She ran off, leaving me kneeling in front of hundreds of people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 891

Neglected

By Busy mom - 06/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Newark

Today, I got a call from my kid’s school, saying my daughter had a minor accident on the playground. When they asked her who to call, she'd said, "My mom’s probably in a meeting. Call the pizza place, they always pick up." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 450

Hey good lookin'

By Anonymous - 02/03/2025 00:00 - United States - Anaheim

Today, I realized that whether it takes me 3 minutes or 3 hours to get ready, my husband always has the same reaction, “Uh… yeah babe, you look fine.” Thanks for the confidence boost babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 441

Emotional

By Abigail - 23/07/2024 20:00 - United States - Penn Yan

Today, I was crying over my favorite artist dying (as I often do). I was home alone, watching his documentary/movie in my living room, and I started crying REALLY HARD. It was the loudest and hardest I've ever cried. Guess who showed up to the house? The cops. The neighbors thought I was dying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 696

Not sure what's going on here, but…

By Anonymous - 22/10/2024 18:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I'm 58 years-old, and the 40 year-old woman I'm sleeping with is so tight that she "spits me out" every time she has an orgasm. I have to work it back in at least 5 times every time we get together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 532

Karma

By yeahImgreat - 12/05/2022 14:00 - Netherlands

Today, after three months of going back and forth between staying with my boyfriend and leaving him for someone else, I finally made the decision to go for the other guy. When I told him, he admitted to never seeing himself with me, as he "doesn't do cheaters." FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 2 640

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The Top

Today, I'm hiding from my creepy next-door neighbor. She constantly trash-talks my partner of two years, she's mentally unstable, looks to me for support, has a raging crush on me, and she drunkenly tried to make out with me last weekend. I'm two months older than her daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 884

You deserved it 1 822

Today, while in class, I desperately had to fart. Someone in the room had a coughing fit, so I took that as the chance to let it out. When I was about to release, the coughing stopped. I couldn't stop in time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 647

You deserved it 43 535

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 123

You deserved it 4 186

Today, while working in a kids shop, I absentmindedly called a small person with his mum a little man. I then heard a deep man's voice say, "I'm not a little man." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 172

You deserved it 580

Today, my wife has declared that, unless our son has finished his homework, I'm not to watch TV, play video games, read, use my phone, cook, or go outside, lest I "tempt him" to leave his work unfinished. Guess I'll just stare at the wall all afternoon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 542

You deserved it 256

Today, I ran into an old friend at the grocery store and told them, "Let’s catch up soon!" We then ran into each other in every single aisle. It got awkwarder and awkwarder, and by the fifth time I was pretty sure neither of us wanted to see the other ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 148