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The all-time greatest FMLs

Today I learned…

By Anonymous - 15/03/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I found out that the little bumps on the child seats in the Wal-Mart shopping carts are spaced just enough that they can crack my brand new phone's screen past its screen protector in two places. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 217

Start 'em young

By Anonymous - 03/10/2021 23:00

Today, my 3 year-old toddler wanted to try my wine. I kept telling her it’s adult juice and she wouldn’t like it. When she kept bugging me about it I gave in, and gave her a tiny sip. She liked it, and continued to bug me about it even more. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 586

Van life

By Nomad - 28/02/2023 10:00

Today, and recently, I’ve been really big into van life and traveling. Until now, I thought my wife was onboard. After a long talk about how difficult it would be, she’s decided that she’d rather live paycheck to paycheck, instead of travel for super cheap and save money. On top of that, rent is going up in a few months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 806

Right place, wrong person

By Anonymous - 11/02/2021 05:01

Today, I came home and heard a noise in the bathroom. I figured it was my girlfriend, so I went over and as the door closed, I told her not to close the door as I've seen her beautiful body before. Turns out it was our roommate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 170

Relaxed

By Anonymous - 01/08/2026 03:00 - United States - Riverside

Today, I decided to push myself and go to a morning yoga class, despite suffering from horrible insomnia for the past few nights. During child’s pose, I fell dead asleep on my mat and only woke up because I ripped a comedically loud fart and startled myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 124

Internalized

By Anonymous - 21/08/2026 00:00 - Brazil - Joinville

Today, I was called a "transphobic bigot" at work because I told my coworker, a trans woman, that her clothing and behaviour were disrespectful and inadequate for the workplace. I'm also a trans woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 120

Time flies

By Jonathan - 24/01/2026 12:00

Today, I noticed my unopened box of Viagra passed its 'use by' date three months ago. My sex life ended in 2022. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 75

The walls have ears

By Anonymous - 20/01/2023 12:00

Today, while I was at the doctor's looking nasty and sick, I ran into my ex. He was my first boyfriend and he cheated on me the whole time, and then left me. I went into a room with my friend while we were waiting and told her EVERYTHING about him. Turns out everyone heard me, INCLUDING HIM. Now I have to see him tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 942

Customer relationships

By UnemployedGirl - 02/07/2021 19:59

Today, I assisted a customer at work. She was asking me all sorts of stupid questions and acting like an entitled, spoiled brat. When she left, since I had a mask on, I meant to mouth, "Stupid bitch" but I blurted it out loud. Everyone heard. I was fired. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 645

Cool

By Shirly - 04/01/2026 00:00

Today, I went on a first date and laughed so hard at a joke that I snorted. I tried to play it cool, laughed harder, snorted again, and then knocked over my drink. The waiter brought napkins and said, “Happens all the time.” To me, yes, it does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 124

Lookalike

By Anonymous - 17/03/2026 12:00

Today, I finally got with the hot guy from work. We were laying in bed, smiling at each other afterwards, when his eyes traveled down my body and he blurts out, "THAT'S who you look like! Have you ever seen Moana? Yeah, you look JUST like THAT MAUI GUY! WOW!" I'm a woman. A 5ft4 woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 115

Love is love

By Anonymous - 12/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Indianapolis

Today, it's another day of being madly in love with a girl. We went on a date on Saturday and I’m so in love. I want to have her over to hang out but my parents would freak because I was raised in a devout Christian household. So much for my teenage love story… FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 148

Confuddled

By Anonymous - 18/10/2024 22:00 - Canada

Today, I met my boyfriend’s parents for the first time. I got nervous and tried to say, "Nice to meet you, I’ve heard a lot about you!" when I should’ve just said, "It’s nice to meet you." To make things worse, it came out as, "Nice to hear you, I’ve met a lot about you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 163

Ouch

By Anonymous - 30/06/2026 03:00 - United States - Warren

Today, my physical therapist finally conceded and concluded that every pain that I've been having in my hips is nerve pain and that over the counter painkillers won't help with that. What will? Nothing that's over the counter, so I'm going to have to figure out ways to deal with this nerve pain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 61

Any good news? Any at all?

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 15:00 - United States - Warren

Today, while getting a followup to my MRI, my doctor joked that he "had bad news, and more bad news." Apparently my bulging discs were pressing on my spinal column, which was causing my back pain. The other bad news was my hip pain, it's caused by torn cartilage in there. I need to see two different specialists. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 66

Open relationship?

By Olenka - 29/02/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I caught my husband in bed with his side chick yet again. Two weeks ago he promised me he wouldn’t do it again, and last Saturday I caught him again. Today marks the fourth time. We’ve been together for eight years and have three children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 090

Goodbye Dreams

By FML Videos - 15/10/2018 00:00

Keep chasing them!

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 73

You'll understand when you're older

By I had no idea I swear!!! - 27/03/2026 20:00

Today, I was told that the cute rhyming nickname I gave to my daughter’s best friend is actually the name of an adult performer. I feel gross, even though I truly had no idea. Now the girl asks me why I don’t call her that anymore and I don’t know what to tell her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 104

Nature is healing

By Anonymous - 03/08/2021 18:01 - Germany

Today, I ended up in the hospital by accidentally eating poisonous berries, from a plant that I've known since childhood to be poisonous, which I also recognized as belonging to the nightshade family. I still don’t understand what made them look tasty. Brain fart of the century, I guess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 258

Good enough

By Loves me not. - 23/01/2022 05:01

Today, I realized that there are only two things that make me stay with my current girlfriend: the sex and her Nintendo Switch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 598

Amazon Prime

By Anonymous - 27/11/2020 17:00 - Germany - Bayreuth

Today, I ordered an iPad to replace a broken tablet in a haste. I managed to order one of the only ones that doesn't support an Apple pencil. This is exactly the only feature I SERIOUSLY need. Can one be more stupid? FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 1 079

Express yourself

By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 326

You deserved it 140

That's something at least

By Anonymous - 19/09/2024 22:00 - Pakistan

Today, I was greeting some guests when I fell into the tray of tea and biscuits in front of them, with two cups of tea directly drenching my hair. They didn't laugh, they didn't chuckle, but my sister was laughing too hard and too much. I now smell like tea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 183

Empathy is never toxic

By Anonymous - 07/02/2026 00:00

Today, I was sitting outside of a counseling center waiting for someone, watching an older lady bawl her eyes out as she exited the building. Absolutely broke my heart, because asking her if she was okay would have been intrusive and unasked for... and yet I can't get the sight of her crying out of my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 135

Happy oddly specific day to you!

By Anonymous - 03/08/2025 09:00 - United States - Buchanan

Today, it's National Girlfriends Day. My boyfriend stood me up, blamed it on his mom, and then decided he was going to go hang out with his friends. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 204

It's a mystery

By Anonymous - 07/09/2022 09:00 - Australia - Cremorne

Today, our water got cut off. Since our council tax is also due today, I called them and hurled abuse for cutting off the water so soon. Turns out they don’t actually supply water, nor was it even disconnected. Some random person just turned off the meter tap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 1 218

Family man

By Anonymous - 13/04/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I had to turn down a huge job promotion that would have meant a bigger salary and more benefits because it would have required me to move, and my wife and kids absolutely refuse to leave behind the farm we live on or all the animals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 247

Squeaker of the house

By Awkward - 13/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Houston

Today, I wore new shoes to a wedding. Halfway through the ceremony, the left shoe started squeaking with every step. During the silent vows, I had to walk across the room sounding like an angry rubber duck while people turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 124

Pleased to meet you, hope you forget my name

By Fork - 07/11/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, it was my first day at a new workplace. During introductions, I nervously tripped over my words and introduced myself as "Fork." My real name is Frank. My coworkers thought it was too funny to correct. Looks like I’m stuck with "Fork" for the foreseeable future. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 203

My FP

By Anonymous - 25/10/2021 08:00 - United States

Today, it's been a week since the last time I talked to the person I care about the most. We've been fighting for 2 months and he hasn't even opened the last message I sent him. I went completely radio silent as part of a bet, because others are convinced that he'll miss me. I don't think he's noticed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 1 198

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The Top

Today, as I was walking up to a urinal I heard a small hiss. I looked up just in time to get an eye full of chemicals from the automatic air freshener. I rinsed my eye out and went back to the urinal. It happened again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 568

You deserved it 2 939

Today, I went to my cousin's wedding. The groom walked over when the two of us were talking, took one good look at me, slapped me on the ass, and said, "You know, if I wasn't marrying Rose here, you'd be next." Yeah, about that: I'm a 16-year old guy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 201

You deserved it 4 518

Today, I was driving with my parents while explaining that young people like myself are better drivers because we have better reflexes. My explanation was suddenly interrupted with the sound of me crashing the car against a parked car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 195

You deserved it 50 755

Today, I was showing my three year-old that going down the deck steps are perfectly safe. At the top, I tripped on my shoe and fell head first down every step. I now have five stitches and a three year old who won't go anywhere near the deck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 616

You deserved it 8 244

Today, I walked home from work when a woman asked me to come inside for a free meal. It was at a homeless shelter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 246

You deserved it 5 204

Today, I introduced my friend to a show I really like. I told her that I’m only halfway through the second season, but she should check it out. Since she’s on leave from work, she decided to binge watch every available episode, then text me multiple spoilers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 059

You deserved it 227