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The all-time greatest FMLs

Pesky kids

By Albert79 - 28/02/2025 09:00 - United States

Today, I was on a video call with my boss and some clients. Everything was going smoothly until my 3-year-old son walked in wearing my wife’s high heels and started running circles around me, yelling, “Look at me, I’m a queen!” My boss and clients were visibly confused, and all I could do was laugh nervously, and hope it'll never be mentioned again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 153

Vacation by proxy

By Anonymous - 23/04/2025 22:00 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I realised that the only thing I am looking forward to this summer is watching Love Island from the comfort and darkness of my shitty couch, because I can't afford to do anything as exotic as going somewhere sunny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 137

Great expectations

By Anonymous - 26/04/2025 12:00 - United States

Today. my four year-old grand-daughter asked her mother why she married her father, since he wasn't a Prince. I think we need to dial back the Disney movies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 135

He's onto you

By No way, doggy - 25/01/2025 00:00 - Canada - Vancouver

Today, I tried to sneak some cookies out of the pantry without my dog noticing. I dropped one, and now he thinks that every time I open the pantry, it’s snack time. He won’t stop barking at it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 193

I hate my life

By Anonymous - 09/04/2021 02:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I woke up and remembered that I'm in law school. Now, I'm about to go to sleep, and I'm still in law school. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 1 027

Body horror

By Pierced - 17/07/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, my husband came home with his dick pierced. I shrieked in horror and told him to get it away from me. He's now sulking that I won't indulge his weird impulse and am refusing sex until he removes the piercing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 316

You OK, hun?

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 22:00

Today, my husband asked what I’d done all day. I took it as a criticism and was about to chew his head off about not appreciating all I do, when I took a look at myself still in pyjamas, the filthy house, dirty plates, and unwashed laundry and realised I’ve done fuck all for weeks. I’m a bad wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 1 704

Fishy

By Anonymous - 19/10/2025 20:00

Today, my boyfriend mentioned that he wants to get a vasectomy. I didn't give it much thought, until two things occurred to me. 1.) I have PCOS, and was told by multiple doctors that I can't have children. 2.) He almost never wants to have sex anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 86

Very brave

By Americas got no talent - 29/06/2026 12:00 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I gathered the courage to sing karaoke after saying no for years. The lyrics screen froze halfway through the song, and everyone expected me to keep going from memory since I picked it. It turns out I only knew the chorus. I hummed for an entire verse as bemused strangers politely clapped along. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 92

Parenting is tough

By Paul - 18/01/2026 03:00

Today, I rushed to a pharmacy with a sick toddler and handed the pharmacist my insurance card. He looked at it and said, “This expired six months ago.” I’d been using the digital copy on my phone the whole time and didn’t realize my insurer had changed my group number. I left with a $120 bill and a sticky-handed kid who refused to take medicine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 149

Unwelcome home

By Bee Quarantine - 10/09/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, there is a wasp nest right next to my front door. To exit the house safely, I have to use the back door and carefully sneak over to the car. Alternatively, I can just walk everywhere. Or I can become a shut-in, but I don't think I'd last long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 176

Bad week

By Anonymous - 26/02/2026 03:00

Today, just a little bit after midnight, my mom sends a Facebook post saying my stepdad is in the ER and is unable to walk. I'm a night owl, which was why I was up. This is after the rest of my family went to bed due to being sick with the new flu variant days ago. It seems like this week is just bad luck for my family. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 61

Superheroes Finger Family Song Johny Johny Yes Papa Nursery Rhymes Giant Syringe

By Anonymous - 16/01/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I was babysitting my niece and let her watch cartoons on YouTube while I cooked dinner. She screamed as I was cutting up carrots and I cut myself. She had turned on an episode of Happy Tree Friends and was now crying and wouldn't stop. My brother thumped me for not watching her. I now have a cut hand and black eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 533

Enjoy the ride

By Anonymous - 29/06/2025 20:00 - United States - Sacramento

Today, I found out my boyfriend is a sex addict, so now I don’t know if he even actually likes me, or if it’s just that I’m “adventurous.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 129

How could you?

By Anonymous - 11/01/2021 08:30 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I saw the Steelers throw the game to the Browns. I get it, you don't want to go to the Superbowl, but could you try being more realistic than staged wrestling? FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 760

Stylist

By Joh - 26/03/2026 03:00

Today, I got home, stripped down to my underwear, and laid on the couch. The cat came up, then started meowing loudly at me and bit my sides and legs until I put on sweats and a t-shirt. I now have a cat-enforced dress code. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 170

Strange encounter

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 12:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I finished a very difficult order and brought it to a client's house. He greeted me at the door in his underwear, and thanked me by kissing me. Now his whole neighbourhood probably thinks we're gay, even though I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 89

A new friend

By Anonymous - 28/07/2026 00:00 - Belgium - Roeselare

Today, my husband introduced me to an old high school friend of his. He's always told me the guy is the opposite of himself and to keep expectations low. I opened the door to a drop dead gorgeous man, sweet, with an excellent job, car, and great sense of humour. Instant crush. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 218

Thanks, I hate it!

By Anonymous - 25/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, I got my mom (who is a diabetic) a set of sugar-free chocolates for Mother's Day. Everything was fine on that day, and my mom decided to share them since I bought a good sized box. I was perfectly fine, but my mom had explosive diarrhea for the rest of the day. I'll never buy THOSE again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 320

You deserved it 105

My name is actually Blurt

By Anonymous - 18/12/2025 15:00

Today, I saw my original birth certificate and realised I’ve spent almost all my life misspelling my first name. Now I’m worried it might invalidate pretty much every legal document I’ve ever signed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 100

There is a light that sometimes goes out

By Hannah - 14/08/2021 20:01 - New Zealand - Tauranga

Today, I saw a light switch on in the hallway at school, so I tried turning it off. That was the light switch for the entire second floor. So many people saw, I turned it back on and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 938

Knock knock

By Concerned - 19/11/2025 03:00

Today, I thought my neighbors were having a loud argument, so I went to knock on their door to make sure everything was OK. They weren’t fighting, they were rehearsing lines for a community theater play. They invited me to the show. I still haven’t recovered from the embarrassment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 173

Are you OK?

By FUCKING IDIOT - 09/11/2023 04:00

Today, my boyfriend yet again bought paper towels instead of toilet paper. I screamed myself hoarse at him, and told him to go get some toilet paper before I killed us both. He came back with coffee filters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 855

Good times

By Anonymous - 02/04/2024 12:00 - United States

Today, I was visiting my mom for Easter weekend. I rarely visit her, since she lives on the other side of the state. She spent the nicest day of the visit sick all day in bed. It wasn't food poisoning, the doctors don't know what it was, but she was fine the next day, when it was raining and much colder, so no outdoors for us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 207

Too good to be perfect

By Anonymous - 17/11/2023 20:00 - United States

Today, I thought I'd found the perfect parking spot at work for once. Turns out, it was actually perfect for the parade that was scheduled for later in the day. My car got towed to make way for marching bands and floats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 409

Twerking is for special occasions

By Anonymous - 05/12/2025 15:00

Today, I literally had to say the words, “Please stop twerking” to my niece. She’s seven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 69

I've got blisters on my fingers

By Anonymous - 06/02/2025 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I started out as a serious artist, I even got some of my work displayed in galleries. Now I live in my mom’s attic and I manage to pay her some rent by drawing furry porn for online perverts. I’ve drawn so many hair-covered buttholes I don’t even get upset anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 219

Get me the hell out of there

By Anonymous - 17/08/2026 00:00 - United States - Durham

Today, I tried to find a cheap apartment to get away from my toxic parents. There seems to be only one that's in my budget and it has abysmal reviews. The job market is in the crapper, so the odds of getting a better-paying job anytime soon are slim to none. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 70

Go away now

By Anywhozit - 20/05/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, after I tried to give a friend I had for ten years a second chance, after we had a bad falling out because it was "too much for her" that I had a life changing accident and was not upbeat about it, needless to say she has been obnoxious these past 6 months and I should not have let her selfish butt back in. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 185

This was a bad idea

By Naked_Mango - 18/03/2023 06:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I, a man in his 40’s, wanted to rid myself of all back, thigh, buttock, and pubic hair. The first strip of pubic hair the tall 22 year-old girl yanked on almost made me cry, and almost made me knee her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 319

You deserved it 833

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The Top

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 005

You deserved it 2 994

Today, during dinner, my mum asked why I've been so upset recently, so I just admitted it was because my girlfriend had cheated on me. At some point during my venting, I asked why this stuff always seems to happen to me. My dad looked up from his plate and said, "Probably karma." FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 820

You deserved it 6 463

Today, my maid of honor and best friend of 10 years won't answer my texts and blocked me on social media. This is because last night she and my fiancé got into a huge drunken fight about who loved me more and she stormed off. I get married in 5 hours and I have no idea where she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 396

You deserved it 366

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 242

Today, I was ringing up a lady’s items; two shoeboxes. Per policy, I’m supposed to open them. She heavily insisted I didn’t. I ignored her and found other merchandise inside. She then went on a rant on how "people should mind their own fucking business" and stormed out of the store without buying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 915

You deserved it 132

Today, I liked one of my crush’s Instagram post from 2012 while stalking his profile. Despite me realising my mistake and un-liking the post, he immediately followed me back, and sent me a DM saying, “Wow, that’s some deep digging.” I’m now referred to as his "creepy stalker archaeologist of Instagram." FML

I agree, your life sucks 115

You deserved it 565