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The all-time greatest FMLs

Basic terrorism

By Fuck ICE - 23/08/2025 20:00 - United States

Today, I went to Home Depot with my boyfriend. There were a large number of men at the front of the store speaking Spanish. As we left, he ran back inside shouting, "LA MIGRA! LA MIGRA ESTA AQUI!" They screamed and ran in panic. I am dating a racist scumbag who thinks terrorizing minorities is funny. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 465

Stop staring

By Anonymous - 06/05/2025 15:00 - China - Suzhou

Today, I accidentally spilled water on my pants, and my crotch got soaked. To make things worse, I was in class at the time, and I had to walk home afterward. On top of that, I had to pass through a mall, and there were so many people staring at me the whole way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 125

Spooky season ain't over

By Brendon - 05/11/2025 15:00

Today, I came home and heard the shower running. Assuming my roommate was in there, I yelled, “Don’t use up all the hot water!” Then my roommate walked in with groceries. I froze. The shower stopped. The bathroom was empty. Now I have to move out or start charging rent to a ghost. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 97

Feeling a light 4 on this one

By Anonymous - 02/08/2024 16:00 - Hong Kong - Kowloon

Today, I started recording my piano exam pieces to submit, and I was proud at my interpretation that I spent time trying to make it sound good. That was until my tutor walked in and said I had "shit rhythm and ass intonation." My mom was there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 115

Short Kings

By Anonymous - 08/09/2024 09:00 - United Kingdom - Hornsey

Today, I saw a display with a mirror that said, "You are made in God's image!" I'm too short to be able to see myself in said mirror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 79

Buddy boy

By Anonymous - 08/11/2025 09:00

Today, at the park, a toddler ran up to me yelling “Daddy!” and hugged my legs. Trying to be nice, I patted his head and said, “Hey, buddy, I’m not your dad.” His actual dad appeared behind me, wearing the same shirt, same haircut, and looked at me like I’d just tried to kidnap his child. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 51

Not so secret

By Alison - 23/12/2024 16:00 - United States - Reno

Today, during our office Secret Santa gift exchange, I unwrapped my gift to find a mug that says, "World’s Okayest Employee." Everyone laughed. My boss added, "Well, it’s accurate." FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 141

The grift situation is insane

By Anonymous - 15/07/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, my daughter wants to forego college to embrace the whole “tradwife” bullshit. She doesn’t seem to understand that the videos she loves so much are as fake as anything else on the internet. These are people cosplaying as “traditional” while making millions off gullible idiots online. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 109

Weird vibes

By Anonymous - 25/04/2025 22:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, I went to a party at a friend's place. I walked in and noticed everyone sitting quietly in a circle. I sat down, waited for the conversation to pick up, which is when I realized it was a "silent party", as in everyone had headphones on and was listening to music. I awkwardly left after 10 minutes of pretending I was having a great time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 121

King of pain

By Anonymous - 24/01/2026 22:00

Today, I somehow strained a muscle around my ribs that make any movement or pressure almost unbearable. In other words, breathing is just about possible, farting is excruciating, and I’m praying I get diarrhea, otherwise there's no possible way I’m going to be able to shit without passing out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 59

By Anonymous - 20/12/2009 11:03 - United Kingdom

Today, I sent a christmas card to my husband's uncle and aunt. I'd forgotten that the uncle died last year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 136

Weird family

By Veronica - 29/12/2022 15:00 - United States - Allentown

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex. His mom didn’t know much about it, and she walked in on us. After about 5 minutes she came back up, threw a box of condoms at us, says, "Continue" and walked out. We were still fucking while she was in the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 2 198

Never do this

By Anonymous - 09/10/2025 15:00

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend at the museum where we met, with a violinist playing her favourite song. She said yes but later said she felt put on the spot in public, and if I’d proposed in private, she probably would've said no. I’m in my feelings trying not to cry right now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 461

Cute trick

By Anonymous - 21/09/2024 06:00 - United States - Sierra Vista

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. As the cop approached my car, my cat appeared out of nowhere, seemingly jumping out of behind the passenger seat, ran up my arm, and sat on my shoulder with his eyes like satellite dishes. The officer was too busy laughing to give me a ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 170

Change of heart

By Anonymous - 28/09/2024 16:00 - United States - Lafayette

Today, my boyfriend "proposed" to me. When we first started dating, he told me that he hated the concept of marriage and absolutely never wanted to go through with it. So I laughed and turned him down, obviously thinking it was just a joke. He was serious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 262

Public spectacle

By Veronica - 22/10/2025 15:00

Today, I got locked in a restroom because the doorknob jammed. I had to text my coworker to come and rescue me. He brought half the office with him because, “It was too funny not to see.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 85

Get me out of this time loop!

By Anonymous - 10/11/2024 03:00 - Canada - Toronto

Today, I ran into an old friend at the grocery store and told them, "Let’s catch up soon!" We then ran into each other in every single aisle. It got awkwarder and awkwarder, and by the fifth time I was pretty sure neither of us wanted to see the other ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 148

Prank gone wrong

By Anonymous - 12/02/2026 22:00

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to make me hold an unlit cigarette before FaceTiming my mom so he could prank her by saying, "He's got a new habit." My mom did not find it funny, especially when I mentioned to her that I did not willingly participate. Now I'm stuck in this car, listening to them argue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 79

Never enough

By Hyeg - 03/03/2026 03:00

Today, I came home and asked my wife if she wanted to get eaten out. She just glared at me. Last week, she said all I had to do to make her want sex was asking if she wanted to get eaten out. It's been months since we had sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 83

Good fences make good neighbors?

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my neighbour replaced his chain link fence with a nice wood fence. It’s exactly on the property line and it's his fence, not mine, but the property line is only two feet away from my kitchen window, which is now in complete darkness, no light at all, so I need lights on even during the day FML

I agree, your life sucks 387

You deserved it 108

Highly relatable

By Rasta Pickles - 16/05/2023 15:00 - United Kingdom - Edinburgh

Today, my boss insisted we need to "do team bonding" so the deal was we all go bowling. I couldn't give a shit if they live or die, so ended up telling them I had COVID, just so I couldn't attend. Stick me on a desert island on my own and I'm in Utopia. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 677

Classic kitten move

By Filly - 18/03/2025 12:00 - Romania

Today, I thought my new kitten had gotten out, so I roamed the streets in the pouring rain, screaming his name for hours. Eventually, my fiance called and said he was home from work. I cried that the cat was gone, and he said, "What do you mean? He's on my lap." FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 199

Whisky dick

By Anonymous - 19/08/2025 03:00 - United States - Northfield

Today, my wife was finally in the mood after 150+ attempts to seduce her and I was drunk to keep it up. Now she's upset and thinks I'm not attracted to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 169

My lifestyle choices

By Jfc stella - 03/07/2026 22:00 - Canada - Montreal

Today, I looked at my daughter's bank statements after she came to us in tears, crying that she was struggling financially. She orders Uber Eats five times a week. When I pointed this out, she said that she has to order out because cooking makes her want to kill herself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 116

Avatar II: Is Shite

By Anonymous - 13/01/2023 02:00

Today, I took my girlfriend to see the new Avatar movie I’ve waited over 10 years to see. After it was over, she just said, "That was utter shite, why did you bring me here?" Entire experience ruined. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 991

Badass

By Anonymous - 17/05/2025 22:00 - Germany

Today, my little sister beat me at arm-wrestling. I'm a 15 year-old boy and she's 12. It happened in front of our entire extended family and they all laughed hysterically. I tried to act like I let her win, but the truth is that I was trying as hard as I could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 234

The Cure's "Why Can't I Be You?"

By Anonymous - 11/03/2025 03:00 - United States - Edison

Today, I saw this other trans man at college. He comes from a very accepting family, who let him go on testosterone. He’s so handsome, I’m so jealous. I get an ache in my chest when I see him. I can't help but think, "How is this fair? Why can’t I be that handsome?" I feel so disgusting for being jealous of him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 479

Don't touch me

By Drama - 10/01/2025 03:00 - United States - Kansas City

Today, I took my cat to the vet. As the vet reached to examine him, he hissed, then clawed me instead, and then ran straight into a wall. Now we’re both sitting at the vet's, scowling and injured. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 131

Wicked

By Brenna - 15/12/2025 03:00

Today, I was giving my fiancé some change from my wallet. When I went to hand it to him, he was standing a few feet away from me, so in my best witch voice I said, “Come closer, my child.” Then he got really offended and embarrassed because he thought I was making fun of the size of his junk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 90

The master of the house

By Damn cats - 13/10/2022 04:00

Today, I had to use the bathroom when I woke up this morning. My cat was sitting in front of the toilet and absolutely refused to move. I seriously tried every humane way of getting her to move, but she didn't budge. I had to sit really awkwardly on the toilet to do my business. When I stood up, she moved. FML

I agree, your life sucks 386

You deserved it 2 008

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The Top

Today, my work directory was updated to reflect my recent promotion. Due to lack of space, they abbreviated the title. I'm now listed as "Sr Anal". FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 376

You deserved it 1 675

Today, I got my wisdom teeth removed. My girlfriend had agreed to come over after and make sure I was okay, so I called her, saying I was done. She told me she'd made new plans, and to "just suck on a tampon, you pussy". FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 791

You deserved it 3 326

Today, I had to take a mandatory drug test with the doctor present. Nervous, I couldn't get myself to pee in the cup right away. When I finally did, I couldn't stop myself from overfilling the cup and getting pee all over myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 215

You deserved it 8 680

Today, I let my friend use my computer to download some music. Now, my computer has 6 viruses and 4 songs, all of which I hate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 561

You deserved it 26 366

Today, a bear dragged my neighbor's garbage across the street and stopped right in the middle of my front yard, where it proceeded to scatter the contents and have a feast. When it was finished, it took a massive dump on my lawn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 057

You deserved it 212

Today, a few days after getting my nipples repierced, my man initiated sex. Normally, I love it when he's a little rough on my tits, and I guess he forgot about my not-entirely-healed nips. Let's just say sex ended REAL fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 763

You deserved it 487