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Shambles

By Biancap - 18/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I found out my husband isn’t the biological father of our daughter when we consulted about the bone marrow transplant formula she needs for her leukemia. I don’t know who the real father is because I had a drunken one-night stand at a friend’s birthday party. My marriage and daughter’s life is in shambles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 90

You deserved it 959

Back to the 9 to 5

By Anonymous - 22/05/2026 12:00 - New Zealand - Palmerston North

Today, I got the biopsy results from a weird mole I had removed. It's completely harmless, and I have nothing to worry about. My first reaction was disappointment, because I'll have to keep going to work instead of starting cancer treatment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 216

You deserved it 290

Hey big spender

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my "best friend" invited me to drink with her and a couple other friends. She told me to "just bring a few bucks for beer". When I got there, no one else had brought money, including her. They only invited me because I'm the only one with a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 129

You deserved it 4 366

I got lamped

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I found out that all the allegations made against my father were false. I tried to apologize for not standing by him, but he punched me in the face and told me that he hated me. My nose is broken. I won't press charges because I know I deserve it, but… FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 457

Broke girl

By Embarassed - 20/05/2026 20:00 - United States - New Orleans

Today, at brunch, my friend asked if anyone wanted to split the bill. I pointed out that I’d only ordered coffee while everyone else got cocktails and meals. Suddenly I was “the cheap friend,” and somehow defending my $4 coffee turned into a group discussion about generosity, capitalism, and personal values. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 59

Congratulations, you played yourself

By Danny - 22/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I realized the only person who’s ever loved me was an old friend. She was an amazing girl, she was there for me at my highs and lows, but I didn’t find her attractive, so I turned her down. She has since then moved on and gotten married, while I’m still getting played left and right by women. FML

I agree, your life sucks 94

You deserved it 611

Risky road

By Gimme money - 24/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Secaucus

Today, desperate for money, I stepped out in front of a car, hoping to get a hefty bribe not to take the driver to court. He slammed on his brakes and barely tapped me. When I fell onto his hood and started screaming, a passerby said, "That's the fakest scam attempt I've ever seen." FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 087

Abandoned

By Sickinbed - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was taking a nap in our country house. I was sick with a fever of 101.3. When I woke up, I saw that my family had left to go back to the apartment. They forgot me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 430

You deserved it 3 725

Strange encounter

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 12:00 - Canada - Burnaby

Today, I finished a very difficult order and brought it to a client's house. He greeted me at the door in his underwear, and thanked me by kissing me. Now his whole neighbourhood probably thinks we're gay, even though I'm straight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 313

You deserved it 87

Wouldn't you?

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I found out that my son (17) lied about not being able to get the time off from his job for our family vacation and has been partying and screwing his girlfriend while we're thousands of miles away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 492

BYOKA

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I’m so embarrassed I can barely believe it: I was out on a date and he asked the waitress to bring a pitcher of water and extra sugar packets. He took two Kool-Aid packets from his pocket and mixed it up right there at the table, proudly stating he didn’t need to pay for drinks now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 415

You deserved it 94

Walked into that one

By Anonymous - 13/06/2026 03:00 - United States

Today, I told my date she'd look hot as a blonde. She replied saying I'd be hot with a few extra inches. Furious, I yelled at her that I couldn't control my height. She replied that she "wasn't referring to my height." FML

I agree, your life sucks 72

You deserved it 872

No contest

By Anonymous - 17/05/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I'm sick of my wife’s attitude. Apparently, when she has the kids by herself it’s "parenting", but when I have the kids it’s “babysitting” or “helping out” or my new favourite “the least you can do, you lazy asshole.” When added up, I parent the kids by myself more hours than she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 462

You deserved it 72

Do not attempt this at home

By Poopy - 02/06/2026 12:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, I was constipated and so desperate to go that I ate an entire box of laxatives. Now I'm in the hospital on a saline drip for dehydration and malnutrition, in addition to getting a massive enema and having the most agonizing shit of my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 82

You deserved it 474

Dire straits

By Sandy - 09/06/2026 20:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I called my ex to ask if he could help with bills and buying some nice things for my son. He said, "Look, I'm not going to keep doing husband and father shit for a woman who won't marry me and a kid who isn't mine. Go call his dad." His dad is a deadbeat. He knows this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48

You deserved it 1 356

Cough up

By Elastic Heart - 15/06/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I got my hair done. I wasn’t expecting a bayalage/blowdry/gloss package to cost $350. I only brought $100. I don’t get paid until next Friday, so I asked the salon lady if I could give her the rest then. She refused and said she either gives me a bob cut or calls the cops. I now look like Edna on crack. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 493

Like father, like son

By I'm dad - 26/05/2026 12:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, after making fun of my dad for years because he falls asleep in front of the TV every night by 9:30, I sat down “just for a minute” after work and woke up at 2 a.m. fully dressed, lights on, with Netflix asking if I was still watching, and a half-eaten wrap stuck to my chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 433

Don't rock the boat

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I made the mistake of admitting to my husband that he was too perfect with the way he's always helping with cooking, cleaning and everything, and that it was starting to make me feel a little useless. He got mad and has now turned into the textbook definition of a lazy slob. I wish I'd kept my mouth shut. FML

I agree, your life sucks 64

You deserved it 769

Let me down gently

By ShotDown - 04/06/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my coworker began flirting with the new guy at work and accepted a date with him. I’ve been trying to get with her for months and she'd told me, “Sorry, I don’t fraternize with colleagues.” I called her out on it and she told me, “OK, I’ll spell it out for you: I do fraternize with attractive colleagues.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 759

Cut off

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Irving

Today, my former sister-in-law, who I was once so close to, said that we can't be friends or anything like that anymore because now that she's divorced from my cheating asshole brother, it's too painful for her to be around our family, even for the sake of my kids. I hate him so much. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 57

You don't wanna know

By Anonymous - 23/05/2026 00:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, me and my dad were talking about my gambling habits and I was saying how proud I was that I follow my set limits (I only gamble once a month and online, and set a strict deposit limit on myself). Unfortunately, he began asking questions about my online gambling sites, etc. I'm worried I might get him addicted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 183

You deserved it 253

What will people think?

By Anonymous - 24/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I turned down my boyfriend's proposal because I'm pregnant and I told him I didn't want people thinking that's why we were getting married. He… did not react well. Yes, he knows that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 78

You deserved it 667

Hot hot hot

By Anonymous - 28/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Center Line

Today, I walked to the grocery store despite being out of shape since it was typically only a 30 minute walk and gas prices are bad. The hourly temperature on my weather app was wrong as usual so by the time I got to the store, I was sweating buckets. By the time I got back home, I was so overheated I nearly threw up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 325

You deserved it 143

Just a dream…

By alaska - 30/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Aurora

Today, I had a dream that my mom hugged me and told me she loved me. I woke up to her banging on my door, barging into my room, inspecting it, and then telling me to “just fucking kill yourself, because you're genuinely a bad person” before slamming my door. My room was perfectly clean and tidy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 587

You deserved it 67

Scummy and scammy

By Anonymous - 31/05/2026 22:00 - United States

Today, I've saved enough money to buy a new car, but the dealers wouldn't sell any to me unless I agreed to finance, which is not what I wanted to do because I had enough to flat-out buy. After a screaming argument, I left empty-handed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 79

Bad timing

By Anonymous - 06/06/2026 12:00 - Maldives - Malé

Today, I went to the store in the most awful looking pyjamas possible, ran into my crush, and he looked at me up and down and laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 100

You deserved it 483

Neighborhood watch

By Anonymous - 10/06/2026 00:00 - Australia

Today, my apartment building finally fixed our broken intercom. A few hours later, I buzzed in a food delivery driver while trying to reject a spam call. He wandered the building for 15 min, knocking on random doors before finding me. Three neighbors now think I order tacos under a fake name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 82

Happy family

By Blenda - 17/05/2026 20:00 - Mexico - Mexico City

Today, after my mom moved our senile grandma in with us rather than find her a care home, she wakes up screaming at least once a night, and usually screams for a good few minutes. Then this morning she started throwing plates at me because she thought I was a criminal. It's only been four days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 435

You deserved it 72

Graphic design is my passion

By Anonymous - 19/05/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Cardiff

Today, my boss asked if anyone knew basic Photoshop, and I volunteered because I once edited memes in high school. Two hours later I was sweating through my shirt trying to remove a reflection from a company head shot while my coworkers slowly realized I had absolutely no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 83

You deserved it 366

Coming or going

By Anonymous - 21/05/2026 09:00 - United States - Rowlett

Today, my job transfer was canceled literally as we were getting in the U-Haul. While my kids celebrate that they don't have to leave their friends and everything, my wife and I are fighting like cats and dogs over the huge mess this shit created. FML

I agree, your life sucks 402

You deserved it 58

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment for the first time, only to see another girl walking out. I accused her of cheating with him and we got into a fight. Turns out I was at the wrong apartment. He lives next door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 458

You deserved it 54 451

Today, I was playing a game of truth or dare in a group with a girl I liked. She was dared to kiss me, but then the group decided that that was too cruel of a dare. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 660

You deserved it 4 636

Today, I'm 20 and I'm going bald. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 085

You deserved it 4 582

Today, I learned that taking a shower right before your house starts flooding is the human equivalent to washing your car right before it starts raining. Only much worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 469

You deserved it 160

Today, I woke up to find my home studio cleared of most of my music gear. Apparently, my brother went on a Tinder date with a stranger late at night, and decided it to bring her to my place's guest room since my house "was closer." I'd been building that studio for over 10 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 116

Today, I was told I have a tumor in my brain and require surgery. This all came about due to having a MRI for my migraines and then finding it. The kicker? They're positive the tumor isn’t playing any role in the migraines. I'm now struggling to cope and pass grad school exams with this weight in me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 692

You deserved it 98