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OK, that's that cleared up

By Zacharian - 02/08/2026 00:00 - United States - Pittsburg

Today, I found out my hot Mormon neighbors can be gay, but they can’t act on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 271

XXX rated

By Anonymous - 03/08/2026 20:00 - United States - Winchester

Today, I finally acted on a fantasy and did a bondage shoot video. The first comment on the clip was, "Hard watch. Fat as hell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 174

You deserved it 143

Threat level: Baked

By Anonymous - 09/08/2026 03:00 - Australia

Today, I opened a bag of flour a little too enthusiastically and it blew up. The resulting cloud of flour set off my smoke alarm. My neighbors then came knocking, wondering if the building was on fire, while I stood there looking like I'd been pranked by a baker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 254

You deserved it 117

Paper thin

By Anonymous - 10/08/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I got home with stomach pain and immediately did a 10 second long farting, splattering, spluttering shit into the toilet. Now I know the walls are thin in my flat, but I wasn’t expecting the hot guy next door to say to me through the wall, “Jesus, are you alright in there?” FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 97

SHUT UP!

By Annoyed - 14/08/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, my smoke alarm started chirping at 3 a.m. I replaced the battery, reset it, and got back into bed. Five minutes later, it chirped again. I searched for the source before realizing it was my roommate's alarm clock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 263

You deserved it 63

Arm day

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 09:00 - India - Hyderabad

Today, I went out on a second date with this girl, who touched my bicep when I told her I haven't been to the gym since a long time. She asked me to flex it, I did, and it remained the same size. FML

I agree, your life sucks 167

You deserved it 115

It's the new sensation sweeping the nation

By Anonymous - 22/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I came home to see five teens, my kitchen counters covered in an assortment of greens and berries, and a camera. They were filming themselves stuffing their faces for what they called the “leaky butt challenge”, trying to see if any of them caught the bug. FML

I agree, your life sucks 373

You deserved it 96

This is war!

By Help - 26/07/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, it's been a few weeks since I deterred a would-be mugger with judicious use of a stun gun. Now he and his criminal friends are stalking me and swearing revenge. I can't afford to move and the cops are useless. FML

I agree, your life sucks 444

You deserved it 66

Bad first impression

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Weatherford

Today, I got stung by a wasp a few hours before work. On my boob. I was in pain, so I took a bunch of Benadryl and wound up falling asleep. I woke up to my very sweet manager calling to see if I was dead. Oh, and to tell me that I'm getting a new manager. Who was trying to set up a meet and great with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 345

You deserved it 89

Blur

By Blind as a bat - 29/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I spent almost 10 minutes cleaning my glasses because everything looked blurry. The problem wasn't my glasses. I was actually wearing my sister's, who apparently got almost the same frames as mine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 239

You deserved it 128

Toast

By [email protected] - 31/07/2026 09:00 - United States - Garden City

Today I watched my 90 year-old father-in-law's friend dip an entire piece of bread into her wine glass, swish it around with her fork, and then eat it. In a restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 280

You deserved it 86

Love U 2

By Kellie99 - 03/08/2026 22:00 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, for some unknown reason, I called my boss "Mum" at the end of a meeting. She paused, smiled, and said, "Aww, love you too, kiddo." The rest of the team in the room lost it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 295

You deserved it 186

Clean break

By Anonymous - 07/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Dallas

Today, I was let go from my stepmom's family business because she and my dad are getting a divorce, and she says it's too painful and awkward to have me still hired on. I can't afford a wrongful termination suit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 64

Cross examination

By don't know what to feel - 11/08/2026 00:00 - United States - New York

Today, my husband told me the hottest thing I'd ever done was when he pranked me, saying he was in legal trouble, and I told him what to do to stay out of jail. As he put it, I'm "a sexy Saul Goodman." FML

I agree, your life sucks 214

You deserved it 105

Send em

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, like millions of others before me, I decided to start a YouTube channel. I was thorough, bought all the camera gear, decided on my content, came up with a gimmick, the works. The very first comment I got on my very first video was a request for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 148

Discreet

By Anonymous - 14/08/2026 15:00 - United Kingdom - Reading

Today, I tried to discreetly remove a tiny piece of spinach from my teeth during a meeting. I was looking into my phone camera when I realized I wasn't on the front camera. I had been staring at the meeting in progress through the rear camera for thirty seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 281

Sounds like a keeper

By Anonymous - 16/08/2026 12:00 - United States - Baltimore

Today, I was trying pillow talk with this guy I met at the bar that night. I’m thinking he’s going to say something cute, but he told me, "One time, I was bored, so I went to a liquor store and robbed an Asian man and put his bag over his head." I just wanted to pillow talk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 203

You deserved it 101

Boo!

By ringring - 19/07/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom - Birmingham

Today, I sat through a dentist's appointment convinced my phone was on silent. It was not. My (loud) ringtone went off at the worst possible moment, the dentist was rattled like it was a jump-scare in a movie, and had to stop and wait while I apologised with half my face numbed and stretched open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76

You deserved it 317

Obsessed

By Not bear - 20/07/2026 20:00 - United States - Seattle

Today, and ever since my girlfriend and I watched the movie Obsession, she now thinks it's funny to watch me sleep, screams "STAAAAY!!" whenever I move when we're cuddling, and stands still by the door with a giant smile whenever I come home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 324

You deserved it 89

Nothing?

By Anonymous - 22/07/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend is still determined to find my kink. I keep telling him I don’t have one. Literally, I don’t. He isn’t forcing me to do anything physically but he won’t drop the subject. He keeps making all these different suggestions and expecting me to have some magical discovery or something. FML

I agree, your life sucks 228

You deserved it 81

Eager beaver

By TiePrior988 - 24/07/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I had my first job interview in ages. I went in early, but instead of anyone telling me, they waited for the manager to come and get mad at me because it was supposed to be an online interview. I apologized and we went ahead with the interview, but she seemed disinterested and annoyed. I don’t think I got the job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 80

Such a pity

By Anonymous - 26/07/2026 03:00 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I really tried to talk to my wife how I feel that she hates me and is with me out of pity. She denied it all but by the end of the conversation mentioned she wants a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 348

You deserved it 128

High maintenance

By Anonymous - 27/07/2026 22:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I accidentally farted during my orgasm with this new woman I’ve been seeing. She said she’s not into that sort of thing, and no matter how I tried to explain it was just an accident, she asked me to leave, and that she’d call me, maybe, if she can forgive me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 291

You deserved it 82

Tearaway

By Anonymous - 31/07/2026 12:00 - United States

Today, I’m 9 months pregnant. I was in a grocery store when this little hellspawn came tearing ass down the aisle right at me. I instinctively turned to the side to protect my belly, while the brat crashed into my hip and fell backward. His cunt of a mother cussed me out for knocking down her “baby”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 479

You deserved it 80

Gated and confused

By Anonymous - 04/08/2026 00:00 - United States

Today, I checked in for my flight, made it through TSA, bought food, and sat at the gate for an hour. I only realized I was sitting at the wrong gate when boarding for another flight finished and everyone had left. I ran to the correct gate, but it was too late. Despite me pleading, the plane was already taxiing to the runway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 135

You deserved it 549

Tattoo you

By Anonymous - 05/08/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, an obese customer wanted a tattoo on her inner thigh. I tried to be professional but after a few minutes, I could no longer stand the stench oozing from this woman’s crotch and had to turn my head and gag. She noticed and kicked up an even bigger stink than what was leaking from her pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 289

You deserved it 61

Come on, man

By FireReady - 07/08/2026 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, a manager isn't taking to me because I didn't give the 8-week notice period to go on Emergency Service leave for a few days during a bush fire crisis. FML

I agree, your life sucks 339

You deserved it 56

Masterchef

By weekend starts here - 09/08/2026 09:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I put leftovers in the microwave, pressed two minutes, and walked away. I came back to discover I'd started the kitchen timer instead. I'd spent two minutes waiting for food that had never even started warming up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 88

You deserved it 327

Simple plan

By Anonymous - 11/08/2026 03:00 - United States - San Bernardino

Today, I got a message from an old friend’s wife. She said they were having a reunion at their place and invited me to come. She spent the whole night trying to get me to hook up with him! She wanted out of the marriage and thought that if she could get him to cheat, she’d get a divorce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 64

Bathroom police

By Anonymous - 12/08/2026 22:00 - The Netherlands - Amsterdam

Today, it was 5th period and I went to the year 11 bathroom. I came out, and there was a crowd of people outside. Someone said, "Um, that's the boys bathroom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 101

You deserved it 209

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The Top

Today, I finally hooked up with my longtime crush. I told all my friends about it, because of course I was really excited. Until later that night, when he texted me, telling me not to tell anyone what had happened, and that it was a one time deal. Oh, and right after that, he asked me for nudes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 330

You deserved it 5 594

Today, I learned why my credit score is so low. My mom stole my identity almost three years ago. Her excuse? "You didn't need good credit for anything anyways". FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 740

You deserved it 3 355

Today, while at the Golden Gate Bridge, I spotted a large group of Asians trying to take a picture. Trying to help, I slowly say, "You... want me... take picture?" while using hand motions. The man looks at me and says, "No thanks asshole, I got it," in plain English. FML

I agree, your life sucks 84 697

You deserved it 599 880

Today, I ran out of woodworking masks. I can't get a new one because of COVID. The cotton ones don't stop any of the dangerous particles, and now I have a cough. Screw COVID-19. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 032

You deserved it 195

Today, my kids and I starved during the holidays because of the incompetent case workers at the food stamp office. I was denied because according to them, I make $1200 a week of unemployment. They put what I make monthly as weekly on their end. Their apology? “Sorry, you have to apply again.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 682

You deserved it 258

Today, my husband and I had a huge fight because I booked us on an adults-only Virgin Voyages cruise for our anniversary. I love him, but he wants every single vacation to be a family vacation with our kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 407

You deserved it 208