By in_hardik - 11/06/2012 01:14 - United States
The Top
By NotEnoughCleaner - 12/11/2009 17:30 - United Kingdom
midgie tells us more.
By Danners88 - 11/11/2009 04:36 - Australia
By soreloser - 20/05/2013 06:32 - United States - Manhattan
By Anonymous - 04/10/2010 11:22 - Australia
Keep up!
By AstralLuna - 05/03/2021 17:01 - United States - Sacramento
Tanning
By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 04:08 - United States
Misunderstood
By Lonely - 24/07/2011 17:02 - United States
By BerryRockstar - 21/04/2009 17:37 - United States
BerryRockstar tells us more.
AAAHH I can't believe I posted this on here and now i have to EXPLAIN myself to you people. Well there's the thing. 1) This was totally not a "Today" but a totally "Last November" 2) He was wearing headphones when we got into it, so why should i help him any 3) This was the FIRST time we'd done it, so HE was the bad lay 4) We're not dating anymore (I broke up with him) 5) FML anyway for wasting so much time with him I know i cheated on the "today" thing, but who hasn't. It just says that they all relatively START with "today" and END with FML. I hope this answers a couple of questions.
By Anonymous - 26/05/2012 00:15 - United States
Leaking
By noname - 22/09/2010 05:37 - Canada
By kdgirl - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States
By Okay - 31/10/2009 15:59 - United States
By frustrated - 30/10/2009 04:17 - Australia
Booming
By Anonymous - 26/04/2013 22:22 - United States - Arvada
By Anonymous - 11/06/2014 22:46 - United States - Russell Springs
By laxie - 27/10/2009 00:42 - United States
By Cogibbt - 03/08/2019 12:00 - Canada
Breakfast innuendo
By Anonymous - 31/03/2021 00:30 - Canada - Kamloops
By ShadowReiku - 06/06/2014 03:38 - United States - Bowie
fishyrael tells us more.
Hey guys, OP here. While I don't doubt that they are in fact kept on record somewhere, I DO doubt that they would use them for some sort of super weapon like he was implying. My boyfriend grew up in a bad home and has anxiety and paranoia like you wouldn't believe, so he probably heard something in his computer class and blew it way out of proportion. Again. This is just the latest strange thing he's doing. At one point he wanted us to invest in a bunker. I'm 20 and he's 19, so we're both of age, and we've been dating for 2 years, but we live in different timezones. He's a college student and I don't make very much so it's hard for us to pay to meet up, so sexting is usually all we've got. I prefer skype, since my phone is ancient and doesn't have any of these fancy new-fangled apps, but I was laptopless for the night, which is why I texted him asking and got that in response. I know for a 100% fact that he is not cheating on me. He wouldn't be able to pull it off. Like I said, anxiety and paranoia. He once apologized to me in panic over having a crush on a celebrity, thinking that was just as bad as cheating. In any case, when he isn't at school, he's on skype and steam with me. And for those saying to send them to you, shame on you.
By THOMASisMYname - 06/07/2011 17:06 - Canada
Cheating cheater
By Anonymous - 04/04/2021 17:01
By Jessie - 05/07/2011 16:34 - United States
By Anonymous - 08/09/2010 02:20 - United States
By Anonymous - 18/04/2013 23:08 - United States - Oceanside
By JayCee500 - 27/05/2014 23:05 - France - Paris
JayCee500 tells us more.
I'm the OP. I posted this after my last session with my therapist--I'd realized that this particular person wasn't working for me because I didn't really connect with her to an extent where I'd be able to tell her all my problems. This is the first time I'm seeking therapy, and from what people have said, it sometimes takes a while to find someone you are truly comfortable with. Just to be clear--I don't think that my particular problems are at all special, and they aren't even that bad when compared with half the shit people I know go through. It was just getting to the point where I was deliberately excluding things that had happened to me/that I felt because I considered them too "pathetic" to share. You can probably guess that one of my problems is that I care way too much about how other people perceive me.
Forgiveness
By notacaveman - 16/04/2013 13:27 - Netherlands
By Anonim23 - 15/08/2019 20:00
Nice try
By grovage - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States
By Anonymous - 14/04/2013 01:14 - United States - Pearland
Keywords
Oh, she's been to the vet. Lots. And apparently, unlike in humans, cat 'stress incontinence' isn't the kind where you pee when you sneeze, but the kind where you pee everywhere when you're stressed. Why is she stressed? We think she freaked out when my husband worked away from home for a few weeks. Why isn't she better - dunno! She has meds. from the vet to help her. I can't keep her out of the kitchen, due to the design of my funny, v. old, house the kitchen doesn't have a door to close it off from the rest of the house. Also her cat-flap (kitty door) is in the front door, which opens onto ...the kitchen. And she's been peeing under my bed... I've now thoroughly run out of tolerance for cat pee, hence the hatred...