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By Anonymous - 15/10/2012 10:28 - United States - Richmond

Today, I learned from my daughter's teacher that she has been wearing the same shirt for the past few weeks, ever since we had a fight about how I don't pay attention to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 492

You deserved it 63 366

By Anonymous - 23/02/2016 05:01 - United States - Pittsburgh

Today, I farted at a crowded concert, and people started commenting on said fart. I specifically went out of my way to eat certain foods all day so that it wouldn't happen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 328

You deserved it 2 805

By Anonymous - 16/02/2016 14:56 - Netherlands

Today, a guy I blocked online for sending me creepy messages showed up at my house. I have no idea how he found my address, or even my real name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 955

You deserved it 1 741

By Anonymous - 13/02/2016 07:45 - Australia - College Park

Today, I got jumpscared, by my freshly-bathed grandma coming out of the bathroom without a towel on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 737

You deserved it 1 551

AT&Twat

By Anonymous - 18/09/2020 20:02

Today, I overheard my boyfriend telling his best friend that the only reason he likes to sleep over at my house is for the sex and the fast internet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 515

You deserved it 283

All in the family

By notasgood - 12/01/2010 23:54 - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me so he could sleep with my mom without feeling guilty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 660

You deserved it 3 353

By Anonymous - 03/12/2014 17:06 - United States - Rancho Santa Margarita

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. He's Latino, so I thought he'd like it if I made a bit of noise and called him "papi" while we did it. It freaked him out enough to kill his boner, and now he thinks I have some kind of incest fetish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 612

You deserved it 46 474

Hell

By Sleepless in Juneau - 27/11/2018 05:00 - United States - Fairbanks

Today, my housemate's cat began meowing at 2:15am. After about 10 minutes of continuous caterwauling, it finally shut up. Almost immediately afterwards, a car with thumping bass music pulled up to idle in the street right outside my window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 665

You deserved it 232

By Panda Man - 29/11/2018 17:30 - United States - Seattle

Today, I had a meeting with my girlfriend, who I live with and work with but on different teams. Both our teams got laid off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 971

You deserved it 149

By anonymous - 17/01/2017 20:00

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 424

You deserved it 1 887

Nostradamus

By really - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 404

You deserved it 3 351

Not going so well, is it?

By Anonymous - 29/07/2013 07:54 - United States - Riverside

Today, my boyfriend went down on me for the first time. When I didn't get off right away, he asked what he was doing wrong. I told him he was doing fine, but instead of focusing only on my vagina, he might want to pay attention to my clitoris as well. His response? "What's a clitoris?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 69 189

You deserved it 10 114

By oldskoolfun - 26/12/2015 23:04 - United States - Warminster

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 439

You deserved it 10 705

By Anonymous - 18/02/2017 00:00 - United States - Dayton

Today, I asked a very attractive girl out, then later I ended up talking with her. One of my friends comes up to us and points out that I'm beet red and, "blushing like a bitch". She notices and laughs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 205

You deserved it 630

Holy stereotypes, mom!

By BtoTheRtoTheTTK - 19/02/2017 20:00 - United States - Winter Haven

Today, at a mall, my mom accused me of lying about being gay, just because I said I don't like shopping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 240

You deserved it 525

By Acne_problems - 22/02/2019 02:00

Today, my girlfriend and I were starting to do the deed and she started popping zits on my chest. Then she said that I was killing the mood because my cat was meowing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 025

You deserved it 278

By Anonymous - 14/07/2013 04:13 - Canada - Sault Sainte Marie

Today, some guys were doing construction on my house, when one of them came over and started asking me about my "hot sister". That "sister" is my 13-year-old daughter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 118

You deserved it 4 455

Look before you leap

By lemonlime66 - 01/03/2017 22:00

Today, while sitting in a busy store waiting area with my brother, he went to the bathroom and came back with his hands cupped, saying he found a mouse. He then threw it on the magazine in my lap. I jumped up, screaming and flailing about while everyone stared and laughed. It was a piece of cotton. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 749

You deserved it 1 213

By MikaPika - 07/03/2017 20:00 - Sweden - G?teborg

Today, my boss offered me a 3% "raise" with new commission targets. Consequently this "raise" would result in my income being reduced by a third. Apparently, if I can reach my current targets, they're too easy. So, as a reward for being great at my job, I get a reduced salary. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 944

You deserved it 373

Love is…

By Anonymous - 29/07/2012 04:25 - Denmark - Frederiksberg

Today, while getting ready to go to bed, I told my boyfriend that I feel depressed due to the lack of intimacy in our relationship. His response was to roll over, fall asleep, and send a deadly fart my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 343

You deserved it 3 890

The first step is admitting it

By The_failure - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, I found myself sitting in the bathroom at work searching the internet for the alcohol and caloric content of cool mint Listerine. I now believe that I may have a problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 030

You deserved it 858

Net!

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, life gave me lemons, delivering them straight to my nuts via my neighbor's tennis ball shooter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 149

You deserved it 2 831

By tht1chk - 31/10/2010 00:37 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex for the first time. While we were undressing each other, he said, "Wow, if we have children, you're gonna have to shave, or they'll die from rug-burn as they come out!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 708

You deserved it 30 732

By Anonymous - 05/07/2012 19:10 - United States - Findlay

Today, my waiter turned to me and asked, "Let me guess, Miss I'm-not-fat-I'm-fluffy wants a Diet Coke?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 816

You deserved it 10 017

By Turtleizer567 - 24/12/2016 01:27

Today, after waiting several hours for my foreman to drop off material, I finally got a text back from him saying "Oh sorry, I totally forgot about you. I'm at the Christmas party." The Christmas party that no one told me about. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 878

You deserved it 416

Turtleizer567 tells us more.

Turtleizer567 1

Sunday 25 December 2016 0:56

Thank you! You too. At least I know where I stand with the company now.

By prick - 30/10/2015 21:53 - United States - Dover

Today, as I rung up a customer's groceries, he gave me a pitying look and said I'd have a "real job" if I'd only studied harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 975

You deserved it 2 173

By Anonymous - 18/05/2019 14:25

Today, I found out my boyfriend was going to propose. He'd bought me a beautiful white gold ring that I never got to see. His estranged mom stole the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 492

You deserved it 122

By Anonymous - 23/12/2016 00:22

Today, a coworker told me I was "fat shaming" them by discussing weight loss with other coworkers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 641

You deserved it 739

By instinct - 12/06/2013 03:06 - Australia - Doncaster East

Today, after years of faking pleasure with my boyfriend, I visited the gynaecologist. As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 847

You deserved it 78 325

Twins

By Anonymous - 30/06/2012 01:06 - Canada - Windsor

Today, I saw my girlfriend walking hand-in-hand down the street with another man. When I confronted her, she claimed she had no idea who I was, and the guy told me to beat it. Later on, she returned to our apartment and actually tried to act as if nothing had happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 968

You deserved it 2 956

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The Top

Today, my brothers thought it would be funny to put me inside a huge luggage bag we got for a trip to Canada. It was all fun and games until they dragged me outside, kicked me down a few steps, and left me stuck in the bag, locked outside with the cat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 1 656

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 841

You deserved it 4 404

Today, my boyfriend stated that we should play a game where one person asks the other a question, and they answer it with a picture. I thought it sounded fun so I said yes. His first question was, "Do you shave your vagina?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 149

You deserved it 9 476

Today, I was on the phone with my mother making arrangements to go to a dinner tonight where I will be honored for my political activism. She made it clear she's only going for me, and does NOT support the gay rights group that is putting the dinner on. I was planning on coming out after dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 840

You deserved it 7 841

Today, I once again had to explain that my husband's vasectomy was because we really don't want children, and that, "but you can always adopt or try to undo the vasectomy" isn't an appropriate answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 349

You deserved it 162

Today, I caught my mom and her boyfriend fucking in their room at night, all because I wanted to go to the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 288

You deserved it 395