The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

Permission denied

By Anonymous - 29/01/2010 01:12 - United States

Today, my mom asked me if I would be embarrassed if she got a tramp stamp. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 032

You deserved it 2 670

By AllyK_shawol - 09/03/2016 18:55 - United States - Midland

Today, I received a full tuition scholarship to my ideal university in the mail. This would be perfect, except I sent an email to the college 2 days earlier, informing them that I couldn't attend because of financial concerns. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 249

You deserved it 2 177

AllyK_shawol tells us more.

AllyK_shawol 15

Saturday 12 March 2016 19:53

hi OP here again. cost of living is not included in the scholarship at all. no it is not more than the tuition of course but it is still sadly too much. for the field i am going into, i will end up getting a doctorate degree so going to a CC would not be a wise choice at all.

By it's called an accelerator, grandma, get your ass in gear - 06/03/2016 19:59 - United Kingdom - Leeds

Today, I had my first driving test. The instructor turned out to be the kind of twit who made me do the full 60-minute test, only to tell me afterwards that he was failing me for the only mistake I made less than 2 minutes after the test started. Time wasting tit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 274

You deserved it 3 157

Nepo baby

By WretchedOwls - 03/03/2016 23:59 - United States - Barberton

Today, after weeks of my brother being laid off from work, I was able to finagle him an interview for one of the entry level positions at my work. He got the job, only to refuse it because it doesn't pay enough. I thought 9 dollars an hour was a lot more than 0 dollars an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 565

You deserved it 1 724

Choose wisely

By Anonymous - 10/07/2009 09:21 - Canada

Today, my husband gave me an ultimatum - choose him or my male best friend. I chose my husband. My husband then admitted to me that he was hoping I would choose my best friend so he would have an excuse to leave me and wouldn't have to tell me he's been cheating on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 71 986

You deserved it 4 538

By Nickki - 14/10/2012 14:57 - United States

Today, I walked into the kitchen at 5 am, to have my 7 and 9 year olds throw a bucket of water on me. To their surprise and horror, I didn't melt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 125

You deserved it 3 610

Come on in

By Toldyouso - 22/01/2010 06:16 - United States

Today, I thought it would be romantic to fill my girlfriend's room with scented candles and surprise her when she was done showering. I lied there naked, with Kenny G playing softly. I heard a knock on the door, so I told her to come in. To my surprise it was her mom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 327

You deserved it 24 701

Boozehound

By I get the hint - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 735

You deserved it 12 460

By Silent - 18/10/2018 17:30

Today, at the orthodontist, the nurse was checking my teeth. She asked me a question while her finger was in my mouth, and when I stupidly tried to reply, I bit her finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 168

You deserved it 458

By AzrielB - 18/10/2018 15:30

Today, my friend, who had begged me to buy them a plane ticket after being stranded overseas, blocked me. They didn't even use the ticket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 753

You deserved it 516

Just no

By toolegittoquit - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I tried to quit my job. My boss just looked at me and said, "No. You can't quit." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 993

You deserved it 6 896

By TheLibrarian - 27/10/2018 05:00

Today, after being jobless for 2 years, I got a call back for an interview. I was ecstatic until I saw the date. It's the same day I leave for a weeklong, nonrefundable vacation. I applied for the job 6 weeks ago, and since not hearing anything bought the vacation 2 weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 319

You deserved it 1 286

Letting it all hang out

By zoomzoom - 11/09/2020 02:02 - United States

Today, I had to send out yet another email reminding families that everyone must be fully dressed while in view of the screen. This includes the student, any other children and the adults in the home. I teach first grade. It’s almost a weekly occurrence to have to send these. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 385

You deserved it 160

Weirdo

By concernedsis - 04/02/2016 14:53 - United States - Atlanta

Today, I heard some gossip at school about a weird kid who supposedly jerks off at every house he visits. They were talking about my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 804

You deserved it 1 852

By Stevejobs - 26/11/2018 17:30

Today, after realizing I had 130 unused vacation hours, I requested two weeks off. My vacation time was denied, but my boss still gave me the time off. So I don't have work for 2 weeks, all unpaid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 153

You deserved it 211

By ChiefKoala - 22/01/2016 17:05 - United States - Rockwood

Today, one of my professors left a cabinet door open whilst teaching class. The compulsion to get up and close it was so strong that I could barely concentrate on what was being taught. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 599

You deserved it 3 456

ChiefKoala tells us more.

ChiefKoala 30

Saturday 23 January 2016 4:42

Okay. Wow I can't believe this got posted! So anyway, I do this at home. Like before I go to bed I HAVE to make sure the two doors that lead outside are locked and that every cabinet door in the house is closed. And I probably do have OCD, As I have anxiety and Severe depression to boot as well. For those wondering: I didn't get up and close it for a few reasons. 1.) I didn't want to interrupt him. 2.) I figured he would find it rude and stupid to just get up and close a door that probably only bothered me. And 3.) I have anxiety, so getting up or even speaking in a class full of students is damn near impossible. Also, all of his lectures are also on Momentum (Which is basically how we email our teachers and get all the material we need for the class like the syllabus and shit) so I've already looked over what he taught for today. And to the person who said "i would not do anything, because im not compulsive about minor things like that." That's fantastic. Why don't you give yourself a pat on the back? I live with and am stuck around people who see that as "minor" and don't do anything about it. I know what a "normal" person looks like. I can't help it. I know it's minor, and i know that i shouldn't worry about it or be bothered by it. But I literally can't help it. So forgive me for being different. Thanks to the person who made the "Close" joke. OR if you were even making a joke. Regardless, i found it relatively funny and it made me giggle.