The Top

The most agreed on FMLs The most commented on FMLs The most favorited

The top of the day The top of the week The top of the month The top of the year The all-time greatest FMLs

By murrrrf - 21/07/2014 05:30 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, as I was on the couch taking a nap, it started violently shaking. I panicked and chased my family outside, convinced it was an earthquake. It was just the cat trapped inside the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 105

You deserved it 7 863

murrrrf tells us more.

murrrrf 12

Monday 21 July 2014 17:59

OP Captain is pushing 25 lbs. he's a big cat. And is very violent when he's scared. Also he likes to hide in odd places. So the recling couch is his favorite fort. The rest of you, I'm Not explaining shit. I

By harrington61 - 19/05/2013 21:27 - United States - Midland

Today, the extremely uncooperative client whom I'm trying to defend in court sent me a letter in which he threatened to sue me, because charging him for my services supposedly violates his "constipational rights". FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 325

You deserved it 3 927

By someonepleasehelpme - 18/07/2014 16:49 - United States - Centreville

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 74 876

You deserved it 5 920

By Nickel - 01/06/2017 04:00

Today, my mom's friend came over. She brought her son and claimed that we could have bonding time. I ended up chasing the five-year-old around the house for an hour. After they'd left, my mom saw that the little kid had broken a lamp and a clock. She then said I had to pay for it using my money. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 960

You deserved it 274

By MBoomer - 16/11/2016 06:36

Today, I found a great parking spot but I wasn't sure if it was restricted by any means or of I could just park there for free. I asked a police officer walking by and he told me it was alright, only to come back 4 hours later to find a ticket on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 427

You deserved it 967

Did you smash?

By Silverfeathery - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Lewiston

Today, I was making out with a guy in his car, when we decided we needed a minute of fresh air. We stepped out, only to completely lock ourselves out, with our phones and the keys inside. We had to smash a window. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 891

You deserved it 3 059

By caisse à outs - 23/09/2015 01:06 - France - Saint Quentin

Today, my brother told me that he needed to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Not at all, he was just going to crack open the coconut he'd just bought at the supermarket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 541

You deserved it 51

How? Why? What?

By Anonymous - 05/03/2021 05:01

Today, I wore leggings without underwear. When I got in the car after a busy shopping day, I realized that my pubes had poked through the fabric and my bush was on the outside of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 442

You deserved it 2 230

Make it stop!

By DBR - 23/04/2009 10:45 - United States

Today, my alarm went off. I reached to swat it, missed, slipped, smacked my face on my dresser, and fell on the floor. As I picked myself up off the floor, I hit my head on the open top drawer of my other dresser. In 30 seconds of consciousness, I was attacked by two pieces of furniture. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 915

You deserved it 11 481

By assante2010 - 24/07/2011 00:09 - United States

Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 388

You deserved it 6 903

By Tyguy3000 - 19/06/2017 12:00 - United States

Today, I asked a woman to take a picture of me and my girlfriend kissing on the beach. When I looked up, the woman and my phone were gone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 131

You deserved it 3 034

By sadsadboy - 07/09/2015 21:20 - Peru

Today, I went to a bar which has two stories. I was on the top floor and then went downstairs. As I was going down, I recognised a boy in a wheelchair and his friends trying to get him up. I helped and took the wheelchair. One of his friends decided it would be a good moment to steal my wallet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 421

You deserved it 1 848

By FML - 04/09/2015 16:27 - United States - Maricopa

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. It went well, until my dad got drunk and started telling everyone about how "midgets" are assholes and are ruining America. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 721

You deserved it 1 735

By flipnazn - 15/07/2011 04:24 - United States

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 61 776

You deserved it 10 142

By Anonymous - 03/09/2015 01:33 - United States - Hayward

Today, the priest at my wedding farted. Everyone thought it was me. The guests, my bride, even the priest himself looked at me in disgust before continuing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 783

You deserved it 1 755

By HRomero - 17/10/2016 13:17 - United States - New York

Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he got me fired. Looks like my calendar is clear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 471

You deserved it 1 340

HRomero tells us more.

HRomero 6

Tuesday 18 October 2016 5:17

Hello all. OP here. First of all thanks everyone for your kind words. I am single and it's gonna stay like that for a while. There were a few signs that he was a little crazy, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Even now that we aren't together, he continues to be crazy. He even put my phone number on social media. So the only option I had was to get rid of ALL social media. The good thing is, I've been catching up on some sleep now that I'm jobless, but I won't be jobless forever. Word of advice...if you get this gut feeling your significant other is crazy..run cause you might lose your job. Take care y'all.

So hot

By bonesniffer - 16/09/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, I crawled into bed, naked, wanting to get some, and hoping to surprise my boyfriend who's always complaining that I don't sleep naked. When he finally got into bed he rolled over, touched my bare ass, and said "Oh…" then rolled back over and went to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 907

You deserved it 6 073

Bad Yelp review

By notsohot - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I was walking when I heard a car horn honk. I looked up to see a hot guy giving me a thumbs up. As he got a better look at me, he made a disgusted face and flipped his hand so he was giving me a thumbs down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 432

You deserved it 4 361

Vaporeon?

By me. - 07/05/2012 20:38 - Canada - Orillia

Today, I got an inconvenient erection while at my girlfriends house, so I tried to think of something stupid to get rid of it. I tried thinking of Pokémon, which actually made me harder. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 308

You deserved it 12 202

By eatmywords - 05/07/2011 07:06 - Singapore

Today, I laughed when I saw my ex-girlfriend in her overall uniform, thinking she'd got a job as a janitor. Turns out she's as professional marine welder. She's 22 years old and earns my monthly salary in three days. My current girlfriend who was there with me called me a loser in front of her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 526

You deserved it 64 249

Bon appétit

By StijnDescamps - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, for the very first time, I invited my girlfriend's parents for dinner. I bought a pre-made oven dish, just to be sure nothing could go wrong. Once at the table, her mother asked pointedly who forgot to remove the plastic foil before putting it in the oven. FML

I agree, your life sucks 859

You deserved it 2 582

By crying over wasted milk - 15/08/2019 02:00 - United States - Monterey Park

Today, in a fit of jealousy, my 10 year-old unplugged my freezer and lifted the lid before bed. It’s over 80°F in my garage. Now, my entire supply of breast milk is destroyed. Not only do I not have enough stored to feed my own baby, I was also donating to local hospitals. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 431

You deserved it 301

By dentistrygirl - 03/05/2012 19:41 - United States

Today, while I was sneaking a boy out of my room at 2am, I ran into my mom sneaking a man into her room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 361

You deserved it 11 760

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 14:44 - Canada

Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 104 772

You deserved it 45 234

By CrushAdrenaline - 27/08/2010 09:46 - Canada

Today, at a restaurant, I was joking around trying to make my friend laugh by pretending to be a ninja. I did this by putting my napkin in front of my face. I happened to look over at another table and saw that a lady wearing a burqa was giving me the most evil glare I have ever seen in my life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 736

You deserved it 21 389

CrushAdrenaline tells us more.

CrushAdrenaline 0

Friday 27 August 2010 19:38

:D My FML actually got posted. Is it bad that I feel proud?

By Bigfoot - 02/09/2017 01:30

Today, I participated in an obstacle course. As I was going over a set of monkey bars, my balls got crushed between the bar and my gut. I barely managed to get down before blacking out in the middle of the road. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 004

You deserved it 409

By ginger_trelf - 05/09/2016 23:45 - New Zealand - Christchurch

Today, I found out that my grandfather is in the hospital. This would be a little easier to process if I hadn't found out through my sister's Instagram account. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 851

You deserved it 899

ginger_trelf tells us more.

ginger_trelf 6

Wednesday 7 September 2016 12:10

OP here. Thanks for all the support and funny comments. To clear a few things up, my sister didn't post to Instagram from the hospital, she just took a selfie at home and complained about the things that aren't going well in her life. She had no idea that I didn't know about my grandpa and assumed that our mom had told me. Since my sister and I both live at home, our family tells my mom about any big family news with the assumption that she will pass it on. Right now, my mom is in a really busy period at work and I'm an American exchange student in New Zealand, so I'm sure she wasn't purposely hiding anything from me. Since I go away for college, she sometimes forgets to tell me things anyway.