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Not a morning person at the best of times

By shouldhavestayedinbed - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom

Today, my doorbell rang while I was still in bed. I leapt out and immediately got a severe cramp in one leg, then, staggering around trying to throw some clothes on, I scraped the other leg badly enough to draw blood. When I got to the door there was nobody there, just a parcel on the doorstep. FML
I agree, your life sucks 13 711
You deserved it 2 194

FreeChocolate tells us more.

I didn't expect to be published! By the way, the cat is the one in my photo. To be fair, the vet asked me if I would like to leave while he did it and I accepted. This was also due to the fact that the cat kept trying to climb into my hood because I'm familiar to her. It was just a routine checkup, she was perfectly fine. I don't blame you for thinking I deserved it, I don't deny it was cruel of me to laugh at her. But she just made the most surprised and indignant face and she was running away from him. She actually did hop off the table and try to escape!

socksxox tells us more.

Hey guys, OP here! Must confess, this actually happened to my mum, who really isn't a fan of weed. If it had happened to me it wouldnt have been such a big deal but for a middle class woman in her 40's its a bit of a shocking statement on a first date! That coupled with the fact he kept suggesting to her that they should get a hotel room was enough to send her running!

NickySimpson tells us more.

Guys, I work at Cartoon Network as a storyboard artist where we joke a lot. Luckily, my boss was joking. Phew.

AllegroRubato tells us more.

Hey, OP here! So yeah, after the fact, I also figured that she felt inadequate, in an "it's unfair that I don't get to please you" kinda way, but it's confusing because it's not like I didn't ****** at all or anything. The way she reacted, though, was a bit over the top. We haven't been dating for that long, though so I'm confident these are just little bumps that we'll figure out on the march :) Haha, and thank you very much to all the lovely ladies who flatter me with their comments. Sadly, I'm gonna have to (very) regretfully decline for now, since I really, really like my gf--even if she does go crazy from time to time! :D

hollyglambert tells us more.

OP here. Thanks everyone. Don't worry I won't be seeing him again. Also responding to that one guy, I did not expect him to pay the bill however I would have liked to go halves instead of pay for us both. Anyways thanks guys :)