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Hey guys its me OP, To clarify, my mom told me that she was planning to do this only if the Heimlich maneuver did not work. I was choking on the chip pretty badly and could not breathe so she was thinking about the worst possible scenario. Luckily, I got it out and I am fine and no throats were cut. (This time). When she told me about her (bad) plan to perform a tracheotomy I told her about the scene with Sandra Bullock in The Heat and the dangers of doing one without training (and that TV does not count as training). I also may have mentioned that I would rather choke out and die than have my throat cut open with a steak knife on the kitchen floor.... Thanks for all of your comments! -OP

OP here, I didn't expect this to get posted so I made an account :) Your comments genuinely made me laugh! Since this got posted, here's some background for you: this happened to me two years ago, after I had worked for them for over a decade. While it wasn't the greatest job in the world, it felt like a calling to me. There's nothing I love more than making people (especially children) laugh. I later found out that they fired me because my boss wanted to impress his new girlfriend by giving her niece (who happens to be a chimp handler/animal trainer) a job. It was a small company and they couldn't afford to keep the both of us on, so I had to go :( But it's all good, I got lucky and found myself a similar job with better pay and benefits. :)

Hey y'all OP here- I wasn't really expecting for this to get published! Just here to answer a few questions. First off, this obviously didn't just start happening today, it been an ongoing issue since February-- that's just how FML works. Secondly, I'm 17 years old which means I've been experiencing this all while in high school, which has been SUPER fun. But yes, I've had an MRI, several sonograms, lots of blood work taken and tested, and I took a very intense allergy test. The only thing all of that revealed was that I had a minor milk allergy. So I've completely cut out all milk (which FYI, you'd be surprised at how many things have milk in them), with still no change. I've tried several medications, some of which have provided their own not-so-fun side effects. But at this point I'm just trying to treat it with vitamins and by lowering my stress levels. All my friends and family know about, so I always carry a barf bag and tooth brush with me. Hopefully it will go away on its own, because it's really not as fun as it sounds. Thanks for your kind comments and helpful suggestions though!!

Hey there! OP here. I am completely alive and well although I have developed a hatred for hornets. On the plus side, I did get a pretty badass nickname! - Hornet Bait (RHChiliPeppers)