marcranger - 13/12/2016 02:20 - United States - Silverthorne
marcranger
Cheesy delight
blew it - 05/06/2019 02:00
biggs sprhro - 10/10/2015 04:25 - United States - Bryan
Nucleus - 08/10/2015 13:48 - Sweden - Stockholm
Wanker!
EmbarrassedBather - 09/06/2019 00:00
Spooking cats
Anonymous -
Not funny, guys
person - 20/09/2015 23:57 - United States - League City
Wallowing
Anonymous - 13/09/2015 13:21 - United Kingdom - Bristol
Darin Greenwood - 22/07/2019 14:00
Social skills
Anonymous - 29/07/2019 18:00
Anonymous - 20/08/2015 12:37 - Portugal - Lisbon
NewMom - 16/08/2017 20:00
Steve - 13/09/2017 04:30
Con Artist Kitty
Tray - 25/09/2017 20:13
You're in the army now
Thank you, exactly what I wanted Sergeant - 21/08/2016 13:53
Anonymous - 07/10/2017 19:00 - United Kingdom - Poole
hemiol - 09/08/2016 23:05 - Norway
hemiol
Because I do understand some of the languages of the tourists who usually come through. I usually get by with a couple of words here and there, some Norwegian and English, but some tourists just don't bother to even try. Usually it's fine, and everybody's happy, but every day I meet at least one asshat who turns to yelling in stead of being a bit patient.
geli - 09/08/2016 00:12
ThisChick - 06/07/2016 17:59 - United States - New Orleans
Parents love
- 29/12/2019 18:00
BlueBaronBitch - 24/06/2016 14:59 - United States - Dayton
BlueBaronBitch
Hey guys, OP here, really glad that this was my first FML to be published :) I guess I should fill in the plot holes here, yes the house was dark, she came through my porch door and through the dining room, which the creaking in the floor (as my dining room floor is known to be obnoxiously creaky) is what alerted me to think of an intruder. I was in my room on the second floor and there is a wall blocking my vision of the dining room once I get down, so when I got down I peeked the corner and just went at it at the human-ish form. Ended up fracturing one of her ribs, would have been worse if my boyfriend was home and he was the one doing the hitting. Family thinks I'm responsible because "I should have recognized it was my sister" but sorry if I hear someone breaking into my house I'm not going to sit down and have a nice chat and tea before deciding to do something. My family was in on it, and they're still trying to get me to pay, but I'm not budging on the fact that I was just trying to defend myself. Hope I explained it pretty well, thanks to everyone who helped get this published :)
justpeachy1989 - 26/05/2016 14:06 - Australia
Anonymous - 21/05/2018 15:00
Uncomfortable
Vanessa8221 - 26/06/2018 14:30 - United States - Rockaway Park
aianmoo16 - 01/05/2016 21:52 - United States - Chicago
omgwhyme - 08/01/2012 14:36 - United States
Oops.
Marcilor001 - 10/08/2018 20:30
Management
Anonymous - - United States - Cary
I'm never coming out of here
hcditfi5foygy - 31/08/2018 20:30
Sick'o'bitches - 04/09/2018 03:30
OP here. The only additional points I haven't covered in my responses are: 1. I have a high-clearance SUV and low athletic ability. Since I managed to jump high enough to hit the top of the doorframe, I was pretty impressed with myself once I cleaned up! 2. This is my third published FML. 2 out of 3 have taken place at gas stations. This is clearly a sign that I need to sell my car and move to...uh...somewhere that doesn't have cars or something.