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Rookie mistake

By Anonymous - 12/09/2021 02:00 - United States - Steele

Today, after almost a week of my cursor randomly freezing, I'd had enough and was about ready to go out and get a new computer mouse. It wasn't until just now that I realized nothing was wrong with my mouse. It was running on fumes because I forgot to replace the battery. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 1 062

By Anonymous - 05/08/2009 11:04 - India

Today, I left my brand new iPhone on the counter, and went to get its cleaning cloth. My grandmother saw a mosquito, and used my iPhone as a fly swatter. I now have a broken iPhone. Good news though: no more mosquito. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 854

You deserved it 5 786

By impatient amy - 27/01/2009 14:23 - Ireland

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. I had bad stomach cramps so I asked if I could use the bathroom. After half an hour, I flushed the toilet, it backs up and floods the bathroom. To make things worse, when I opened the door, I slipped on the wet tiles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 906

You deserved it 2 912

By backtothelaundrettethen - 03/12/2012 11:40 - Germany

Today, I bought some expensive fabric softener since I'm not too keen on my detergent's smell. Only after washing two weeks worth of laundry did I discover that mixed together they realistically mimic the smell of fresh puke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 960

You deserved it 3 885

Genius

By Anonymous - 18/04/2024 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I discovered my boyfriend's spider-infested shed where I refused to set foot, where he is constantly fixing the mower, bikes, or his car, is actually just a sound recording of power tools he plays so I won’t go down and disturb him. He has a TV, an Xbox, and a fridge in there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 344

You deserved it 631

By Anonymous - 19/02/2010 00:44 - United States

Today, I had to help my dad remove a splinter. From his butt. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 085

You deserved it 2 807

Admit it

By aces10 - 25/01/2009 13:52 - United States

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year-old virgin. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 308

You deserved it 5 618

Exclusivity

By whoops - 10/06/2020 02:00

Today, I ran into the guy I’ve been seeing. He was holding hands with another girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 708

You deserved it 175

Unprofessional

By Anonymous - 16/09/2021 02:00 - United Kingdom

Today, a licensed child psychologist with 20 years of experience threw my son out after his first appointment, with the immortal line, “You must be taking the piss, there’s a church in town, you’re gonna need their help more than mine.” He’s probably right. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 002

You deserved it 191

Funny, huh?

By Anonymous - 20/04/2024 09:00 - United States - Chesapeake

Today, after having an upset stomach for two days, I thought it would be funny to rip a fart in front of two teen boys at the hardware store. It wasn’t until I crapped myself wearing shorts and it ran down my leg into my sock that I realized it wasn’t at all “funny.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 80

You deserved it 1 160

Hard to beat

By onlyslightly - 30/11/2012 08:33 - United States

Today, my cat peed on my bra. I didn't realize this until after I arrived at work for my 12-hour shift. Now I'm trying to wash my bra out in the sink and stuff paper towels down it to soak up the moisture. Only 10 more hours to go, and the smell of cat pee is still lingering. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 049

You deserved it 4 854

Bad friend

By Anonymous - 31/10/2025 15:00

Today, my friend threw a milkshake at a guy spinning a sign on the side of the road. The guy stormed over and dragged my friend out the car window. When I jumped out to help, I'd forgotten to put my car in park, and it rolled across the street and hit a ditch. Then the sign spinner kicked both our asses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53

You deserved it 1 088

Thief!

By mystery - 19/09/2021 05:00

Today, my mom blocked me on everything, kicked me out of her house, and declared that I'm "dead to her." Why? She ordered a package, but it never came. I’m still trying to process how that could possibly be my fault. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 161

You deserved it 77

Random update?

By Anonymous - 11/12/2022 18:00

Today, since it was payday, I figured I’d take my mom out for burgers. The bank also decided to do a random update on our debit card, resulting in my card declining three times. My mom ended up having to pay for our meals. So much for trying to treat my mom out to dinner. I’m still pissed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 116

You deserved it 134

By ihavenothing - 18/02/2011 14:47 - United States

Today, my mom told me that she was selling my favorite thing in the world, my trombone. The only thing that I'm good at is the trombone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 764

You deserved it 5 288

What happened?

By Anonymous - 26/09/2021 02:00 - Ireland

Today, after 5 and a half years, my boyfriend had spent months talking about proposing before the end of the year. He'd picked out a ring, told all his friends, and couldn't stop talking about our future. He then dumped me over the phone out of the blue. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 245

You deserved it 105

Pull yourself together

By Worthless - 15/12/2022 09:00

Today, the guy I thought I was gonna marry left me for another woman. I want to jump off my apartment building, but I’m too much of a wimp to even do it. Now, I get to live the rest of my life wallowing in sadness, while he gives his new girl the happiness I once had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 064

You deserved it 308

By Anonymous - 23/12/2011 18:23 - United States

Today, I walked in on my daughter eating a handful of styrofoam packing pellets, because she thought they were Christmas candy. She's fourteen. What's next, eating rocks? FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 309

You deserved it 4 936

By stillchubby - 17/02/2011 11:12 - Australia

Today, I was thinking about my new diet and workout plan as I was getting dressed in the morning, feeling much thinner and more energetic. Just as the thought passed through my brain, the button on my skirt popped off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 997

You deserved it 5 949

Some guys will hump anything

By slschmidt - 22/09/2021 14:00 - Germany - Hamburg

Today, when asked for a second date, I had to explain to a man that I didn’t want to see him again, and that he should give women compliments and ask them questions when on a date. He then told me he only does that when his dates look good or say something interesting. He sure still tried to fuck me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 413

You deserved it 352

The real housewives of FML

By NotInMyClick - 02/05/2024 09:00 - United States - Glide

Today, a girl I despise from our group of best girlfriends, who just moved in with another, has showed her true colors. I smelled her bipolar disorder in our group interactions and took a step back, but was afraid to say something to the two other girls like, hey, she's unstable. Now she thinks she's in the group. FML

I agree, your life sucks 110

You deserved it 638

I'm a klutz

By Im so awkward - 12/11/2025 00:00

Today, I saw a woman struggling to hold the elevator. Trying to be helpful, I jumped forward and pressed the “close doors” button, thinking it was “open doors.” The doors shut right in her face. I had to awkwardly ride up ten floors in silence with three witnesses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 128

You deserved it 360

Foreshadowing

By Anonymous - 18/12/2022 00:00

Today, I sliced my finger open on a blender while removing a sticker that said, “Sharp blade, remove carefully”. I wouldn’t have gone near the blade if it weren’t for the stupid warning sticker that needed to be removed to use it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 004

You deserved it 228

By Anonymous - 12/02/2010 19:30 - United States

Today, someone thought it would be funny to switch the signs on the bathroom doors. Fortunately, I knew which was the men's and went on in. The startled old woman inside, however, did not. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 460

You deserved it 3 484

The money is still yours

By Anonymous - 29/09/2021 14:01

Today, after I took extra shifts to be able take the woman I loved out for special weekend, she dumped me and now I'm working extra shift for no reason. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 278

You deserved it 178

Another mystery

By Anonymous - 05/05/2024 15:00 - Switzerland

Today, I had a lovely day, right up until the moment I got home, went to change my pad, and realised that sometime in the last two hours, somewhere between the library and this moment, my pad had somehow… fallen out. So somewhere out there my bloody pad is… just there. What if someone saw? FML

I agree, your life sucks 532

You deserved it 126

It's the thought that counts

By cakelady - 16/11/2025 12:00

Today, I spent two hours baking a chocolate cake for my coworker Cathy's birthday. I took it into the office, everyone gathered, and we sang. Her birthday is actually next week. The person whose birthday was today is named Kevin, and he’s allergic to chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 268

You deserved it 225

By unknown002 - 12/02/2010 01:25 - United States

Today, I stepped on the scale because I'm trying to maintain a good weight. The scale read that I had lost 6 pounds. Feeling really good about myself, I stepped off the scale only to see that the corner of the scale was sitting on the rug, making the scale mess up and tell me the wrong weight. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 239

You deserved it 18 686

Randy

By Anonymous - 09/05/2024 20:00

Today, it took me two hours to put all the kids to bed, so all I wanted to do was watch TV but my husband, who'd spent all that time asleep on the sofa, started pestering me for sex like he thought he deserved it after I'd asked him for help 3 times before just doing all the work myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 616

You deserved it 193

Love stains

By Chloeeee - 18/11/2025 22:00

Today, I surprised my girlfriend with rose petals on the bed. Romantic, right? Turns out, the roses I'd bought had been sprayed with some sort of red dye. The petals stained the sheets, my hands, and our white-furred cat, who now looks like a tiny crime scene victim. FML

I agree, your life sucks 416

You deserved it 102

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The Top

Today, I got yelled, screamed, and cursed at by a customer until I was reduced to tears. This was all because I double-checked to make sure she wanted large fries. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 719

You deserved it 3 766

Today, a 65 year old toothless gas station attendant asked me out on a date in exchange for free gas, and I said yes. This is what my unemployment has come to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 515

You deserved it 8 298

Today, I was chosen as King for our winter formal. Even after I won, nobody wanted to dance with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 768

You deserved it 3 895

Today, I was babysitting for a friend who develops software. After the baby was asleep, I was watching anime on my iPad. Turns out he created an app that alerts his phone whenever potential adult content streams through his internet. It was just an anime, but he's convinced I was watching porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 710

You deserved it 495

Today, and since his retirement, my husband's enthusiasm for life has declined, his love of beer and crisps has skyrocketed, and his interest in personal hygiene has plummeted. Add to that his wearing of old, worn clothes with holes in he almost completely looks like Onslow from 'Keeping Up Appearances.' FML

I agree, your life sucks 941

You deserved it 185

Today, our son finally received his autism diagnosis. We sat our daughters down to explain and they both started celebrating, because they thought he was going to a facility and never come back. When I told them he was staying with us, our youngest actually started crying. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 263