The Top

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By NoColor - 29/10/2014 13:09 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my little sister decided to color-in my favorite black-and-white comic book. It was worth over $200. When I told my mother, she said, "Oh that old thing? I thought it was a stupid coloring book you were too stupid to color." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 568

You deserved it 4 310

Nope, not adding up

By Anonymous - 30/04/2023 10:00 - Canada - LaSalle

Today, I learned that my girlfriend prefered being fully under the blanket during our first time to avoid being cold and to save electricity. This would've been completely fine by me if she didn't have IBS. Done the math yet? FML

I agree, your life sucks 660

You deserved it 177

Bad doggo!

By Vicky - 22/09/2024 14:00 - Australia

Today, I came home to find that my dog had destroyed my couch. The worst part? He buried his plastic toy bone inside the wreckage, so he clearly thinks this is his new personal sandbox play pit spot. I'm afraid to get a new couch and put it in the same place. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 150

Classic case

By Anonymous - 25/04/2026 03:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my son is complaining that girls only want to have sex with him but won’t date him, so he’s afraid he’ll never get married. Funny, my wife only wants to be married to me, but won’t have sex with me. Ain’t that ironic? FML

I agree, your life sucks 369

You deserved it 142

By Anonymous - 17/08/2012 16:45 - United States - Brighton

Today, while on vacation with my family, my mother told me to put my phone in her purse, so it wouldn't get stolen. Someone stole her purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 253

You deserved it 2 251

By astocks - 24/09/2011 05:20 - United States

Today, I found a picture of my military husband kissing another woman. His excuse? It was "Photoshopped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 046

You deserved it 3 236

Don't hate the player…

By Anonymous - 23/11/2020 23:01 - India - Bangalore

Today, I went on a Tinder date with a guy who insisted that I go with him to his friend's house party to meet people and socialize, as I'm new to the city. When I got there, I realised he had invited two other girls as his date as well. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 076

You deserved it 166

So eat it, just eat it

By jessie - 27/01/2022 05:01

Today, I was yelled at and called rude by my boyfriend’s mom because she made us dinner and I didn’t touch the broccoli. I’m a person who will normally bend over backwards to appear polite and courteous, but eating food I don’t like is where I draw the line. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 234

You deserved it 1 536

Body horror

By Anonymous - 25/09/2024 22:00 - United States - Canyon Country

Today, I was cuddling with my boyfriend. I was the little spoon. His hand moved to my chest (I'm less than an A-cup, but very full on my bottom half), and I playfully said, "No! Don’t touch my chest!" He replied, "Huh? I thought that was your rib cage!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 358

You deserved it 183

Jumping the gun

By Storm - 23/09/2011 03:05 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend took me on a surprise date to an expensive restaurant. After the meal, he got down on his knee and proposed. We've only been dating for two weeks, so I said no. He just silently kept staring me in the eyes, no matter what I said or did. I ended up having to walk home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 324

You deserved it 5 954

What a catch

By VoodooPriestess - 28/11/2020 14:02

Today, my boyfriend of 2 years responded to my opening up about how I felt like I was always put on the back burner, was to ghost me for a week, and break up via text. Don't worry though, we can still be friends and maybe later, when he's ready, start the relationship again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 212

Edgy

By Anonymous - 01/05/2023 10:00

Today, I made the mistake of telling my militant vegan coworker I have fond memories of hunting with my dad, which set her off like a tofu-powered grenade. If she doesn’t stop treating me like the devil, making snide comments, and other shit, I may have to go to HR about her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 061

You deserved it 261

By failbaby - 02/06/2009 06:18 - United States

Today, I heard a baby crying while I was walking down the street. I walked around until I found it. In a dumpster. I immediately called the cops, completely freaking out. When the cops came, they pulled the baby out of the dumpster. It was a plastic baby doll. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 574

You deserved it 24 221

I'm a grown-ass man!

By geodemaster - 30/01/2022 23:00

Today, I texted my dad, “My body hates me.” His response was, “No. You are pushing responsibility off yourself and refusing to do anything about it by saying that.” I was actively making a doctor’s appointment at the time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 652

You deserved it 425

No social media, no problems

By Alex - 01/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, I was confronted by a friend, who I didn’t invite to an outing with the rest of our friends because we think she’s annoying. I'd posted a photo and I'd apparently forgot to exclude her from viewing it in the post settings. She’s also my ride to and from school. She told me, “I hope you can afford Uber/Lyft.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 54

You deserved it 1 055

Overdoing it?

By Toe man - 14/02/2022 02:00 - South Africa - Kimberley

Today, on the third day after I developed what I thought was gout for the first time in my 62 years, it turns out it was just a spider bite on my toe. My wife still thinks I had been drinking on the sly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 113

Greetings

By anonymous409 - 01/12/2020 20:01

Today, I was going out to buy some stuff from the store. As I was leaving, my mom warned me to tie my shoelaces; I told her not to worry about it. As I'm walking down the street, I see my crush walking towards me. As I get closer and say hi, I trip on my shoelaces and face-plant into her chest. FML

I agree, your life sucks 258

You deserved it 1 547

Gassy day

By Anonymous - 03/10/2024 06:00 - United States

Today, I ate two Fiber One bars for breakfast and now I can’t stop farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 123

You deserved it 429

Thanks Disney

By please stop talking about Bruno! - 05/02/2022 16:01

Today, my kids have watched Encanto about 37 times. When they aren’t watching the movie, they ask to hear the soundtrack. When they aren’t listening to it in the house, they ask to hear it in the car. I’m starting to hear these songs in my nightmares. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 091

You deserved it 255

Same

By Anonymous - 04/10/2024 16:00 - Germany - Buchholz in der Nordheide

Today, people’s spelling has gotten so bad that I do a double take whenever I see “its” used in the place it’s actually supposed to go. FML

I agree, your life sucks 282

You deserved it 132

Grow up

By I fucking hate baby talk - 08/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, my wife is mad at me for discouraging our son from baby talking. He's seven, well past the age where exaggerated mush-mouth baby talk is cute. It's grating and off-putting to see him rolling on the floor going, "Me luh mummuh and daddeh" when he's a perfectly smart, well adjusted kid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 481

You deserved it 79

Hell no

By Anonymous - 30/05/2009 05:07 - United States

Today, I got into my first car accident. Extremely upset, I called my parents, because it was their car and I didn't know what to do. I told them what happened, and asked if they were on their way to where I was. My dad's response was, "Hell no, we're eating dinner." FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 109

You deserved it 8 947

Fandoms are weird

By Anonymous - 08/12/2020 08:02 - Romania

Today, even three months after seeing 'Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan', I can’t think about anything or anyone except Saavik anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 308

You deserved it 564

Time to leave

By Anonymous - 12/05/2023 18:00 - Australia

Today, I was meeting my girlfriend's parents for the first time. When I went to shake her dad's hand, I broke his watch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 709

You deserved it 171

Genius, huh?

By Anonymous - 13/05/2026 12:00 - Australia

Today, after pulling an all-nighter on an essay, I submitted it one minute before the deadline and felt like a genius. Later, I reopened the file and discovered I'd uploaded the rough draft instead of the final version. The last line ended with “fix this later,” which was not my finest academic work. FML

I agree, your life sucks 141

You deserved it 344

By Anonymous - 14/09/2011 15:47 - United States

Today, a lady came into my workplace to pay her $120 bill in one dollar bills. I kept losing count. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 861

You deserved it 12 656

By Anonymous - 14/12/2009 05:15 - Canada

Today, after taking my clothes out of the washer, I noticed at the very bottom of the washer my boyfriend's USB stick I found a couple of days ago. The USB stick contains his English essay, and his novel he has been working on for almost six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 262

You deserved it 32 363

Drunken antics

By Anonymous - 10/12/2020 17:02 - Canada - Sherbrooke

Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 150

Pond life

By My new shoes might be too big - 15/05/2023 03:00 - United States

Today, I was playing Spikeball with some friends when the ball got lost and went rolling towards a pond. As I sprinted to grab it before it fell in the water, my shoe came off, causing me to trip and faceplant into the mud. I then watched as the ball rolled into the pond. FML

I agree, your life sucks 691

You deserved it 147

Get back here!

By Fucker - 10/10/2024 14:00 - United States

Today, I was trying to propose to my girlfriend when some scumbag snatched the ring and bolted. I chased him down, tackled him, and punched him until he gave the ring back. Now my girl is upset, crying, "What if he was hungry and needed to buy food? You didn't have to hurt him." FML

I agree, your life sucks 673

You deserved it 90

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The Top

Today, the coach bus I was riding almost crashed. I was using the restroom at the time. The bus braked so hard, I peed all over the wall and splashed my shirt. Nobody wanted to sit anywhere near me after that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 544

You deserved it 1 719

Today, I woke up in the hallway. I took a sleeping pill the night before to get a good sleep in for work, but it turns out it was too strong. I got dizzy and passed out on my way to my bed, fell in the hall and chipped my two front teeth, and slept there - straight through work the next day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 222

You deserved it 7 381

Today, I was spending time with my boyfriend for our one year anniversary. Trying to be romantic, I told him that I loved him and I was so glad I was with him. He responded by giving me a thumbs-up and turning back to the TV. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 791

You deserved it 6 498

Today, while walking around outside with my friends, I was told that I have no right to complain about the heat since I'm not fat. Thirty minutes later, I had sweat out all the liquid in my body and promptly passed out from heat stroke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 908

You deserved it 546

Today, my husband put up one of those sticky fly trap strips behind our toilet. I was tired and didn't notice it in the dark bathroom. I leaned back and it stuck in my hair. I didn't notice the dead flies in my hair until I went to buy lunch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 761

You deserved it 263

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he thought about having kids and, without a pause, he went, “Ew, no thanks.” I’m pretty sure I’m six weeks pregnant so, yeah… FML

I agree, your life sucks 190

You deserved it 446